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I moved to my current state and lived here for 8 years, then moved "back home" to be with my few family members and friends after a life changing event. I didn't last 5 months "back home", nothing was the same, things and people had changed, I quickly learned "you can't go back again". I chose to return to my "new" home state as it had become my home, and I have never looked back.
Wow. I can so relate to this thread and your post.
I reckon I've moved away and back at least four times!
This time I've been gone for four years but I still have little pings of wanting to go 'home'. Usually a week long visit will cure that.
I will say that the last time I moved back home; I had a young child and my entire family was BEGGING me to come home. Oh - they would babysit and do this and do that . . . . . guess what - once I got home, they promptly forgot about me again!
My friends had all moved on. I eventually did make a new circle of friends and I don't regret moving back because my Mom ended up dying of cancer while I was there with her.
But it most certainly was NOT the same. And I know if I moved back again - I would basically be starting over ~ again.
But it most certainly was NOT the same. And I know if I moved back again - I would basically be starting over ~ again.
That's the quote of the day!
A friend moved out here from Michigan. She's happy, but her eldest child is not and is doing her best to return to Michigan for college. We've been trying to show her that her friends are no longer there, and most of the relatives are now near here or in AZ, plus the boyfriend she misses is in the army and overseas!
But she will soon be 18, and it will be her choice. I'm sharing your post with her.
FWIW, I went through this last year. I relocated to IA from TN because of a job. The job was not so hot, and I was a long way from family, so I relocated back to TN. After losing half my income and having no luck finding a job in the South, I applied for and got another offer from IA, but for less than I made previously. I ended up holding out until a better offer came along, which did a few months later.
I would only relocate if you are financially stressed and need the money or something has changed in the original area that it's become intolerable. In my situation, my hometown has had such continued worsening in the job market that staying there was just going to sink me financially and crime was out of control. You generally relocate back for a reason and it's best to stay unless there is a clear, logical reason to move forward.
What I have not seen is:
People moving from state A to state B
Moving back to state A
Being thrilled that they moved back
I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all, but it seems very rare. When it does occur, it usually means they were not that unhappy in state A, and they did a terribad job of research in regards to state B. I have never seen someone happy they moved back to state A when (1) they were very unhappy about specific situations in state A that were unlikely to change and (2) they did a thorough job of research involving several states and their priorities to figure out which place would be HOME to them.
PS. The same thing applies from city to city.
PPS. My wife and I moved to Colorado about 2 years ago. We knew immediately that we were HOME.
PPPS. Exceptions prove the rule. Find a case that clearly violates my outline and you'll see how incredibly specific the case has to be.
What I have not seen is:
People moving from state A to state B
Moving back to state A
Being thrilled that they moved back
I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all, but it seems very rare. When it does occur, it usually means they were not that unhappy in state A, and they did a terribad job of research in regards to state B. I have never seen someone happy they moved back to state A when (1) they were very unhappy about specific situations in state A that were unlikely to change and (2) they did a thorough job of research involving several states and their priorities to figure out which place would be HOME to them.
PS. The same thing applies from city to city.
PPS. My wife and I moved to Colorado about 2 years ago. We knew immediately that we were HOME.
PPPS. Exceptions prove the rule. Find a case that clearly violates my outline and you'll see how incredibly specific the case has to be.
This happened to a former co worker of mine. He moved from state A, half way across the country to State B. 6 months later he moved back and a few months after moving back, it was kind of like he never left. He hated State B and was MUCH happier in State A - even though he was born and raised in state B.
I am kind of going through the same thing now. I left that same State A to live in my home state B, and now I am miserable. The actual location doesn't bother me so much as the new job, and I am struggling with a decision to move back to my old job (breaking my family's heart in the process) or stick it out here...
At least one case of someone preferring State A, and I count myself as a half - seeing as how I haven't moved yet but think about it all the time....
What I have not seen is:
People moving from state A to state B
Moving back to state A
Being thrilled that they moved back
I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all, but it seems very rare. When it does occur, it usually means they were not that unhappy in state A, and they did a terribad job of research in regards to state B. I have never seen someone happy they moved back to state A when (1) they were very unhappy about specific situations in state A that were unlikely to change and (2) they did a thorough job of research involving several states and their priorities to figure out which place would be HOME to them.
PS. The same thing applies from city to city.
PPS. My wife and I moved to Colorado about 2 years ago. We knew immediately that we were HOME.
PPPS. Exceptions prove the rule. Find a case that clearly violates my outline and you'll see how incredibly specific the case has to be.
I agree with you. When you go back to where you were, you're usually in the same predicament. I mean, why wouldn't you be? The stuff you didn't like is sitting right there. It's just that we default to the familiar and so even if we hate it, it's "easier."
I say go to Place C and if you research/visit it and like it, it will be better than Place A that you originally lived.
That's what I'm doing. Moved from DEN to DFW and wasn't quite feeling it after living here 6 months. Found a new job and relocated to CLT (another city I was curious about). Hated the new job and the city. Moved back to DFW after 6 months. I reasoned that perhaps Dallas "deserved a second look" since I moved away too fast. Well 2 years later, my feelings about DFW have not changed. So, I'll be moving AGAIN this summer to a new city. Lesson - I should've not second guessed myself by moving back here. It's all been a waste of time...
Having been a military brat I have moved a ton of times and always made the best of the situation.. even in adulthood I have done this.. Never went back from where I came.. have no desire to.. When the wife retires we will move to a new place and that will be it.. I can make friends anywhere I go.. II can find things to do and enjoy.. What family I have left is scattered all over and has been for years...
I just don't get the phrase - I moved back home.. My home is wherever I and my immediate family is...
I see a trend here. People moved back after only living 6 months in the new place. I don't think that is enough time to decide if you like it or not. People tend to get homesick in that time and run back home. I think it takes at least 1 year to get used to the new place. We have to remember why we left in the first place to move to the new state.
Most people that I know, who have moved back, realized they have made the wrong decision.
beckycat wrote:I see a trend here. People moved back after only living 6 months in the new place. I don't think that is enough time to decide if you like it or not. People tend to get homesick in that time and run back home. I think it takes at least 1 year to get used to the new place. We have to remember why we left in the first place to move to the new state.
Sometimes true and sometimes false...for me. When I moved to Grand Junction in 2006, I felt at home almost immediately. However, I recently spent 9 months checking out Ashland Oregon. I NEVER felt at home there, even after 9 months. In fact I was feeling increasingly less and less at home the longer I spent there. I've been back in Grand Junction for just 8 days, but I'm already glad to be back. I will use this as my home base to check out other areas of Colorado, New Mexico, and perhaps Arizona. The southwest with all of it's water issues is still more desirable to me than the Pacific Northwest.
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