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Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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We kept our first house in California 7 years, sold it and moved to a larger one in the same city. That was an easy adjustment, just had to meet and get to know new neighbors. Then we moved to another state, Washington, and felt right at home when we discovered that most of our neighbors, including those next door on both side and across the street had also moved from there. It was also easy because we moved to a place with very similar demographics, the main difference being the cooler, wetter weather and much more green.
Funny how there seem to be so many different responses. I'm an introvert who has moved many times. Many of those moves were to places that simply 'were', meaning I neither felt completely at at home or completely alienated. But one move was to an area I just never accepted, not even though I spent over twenty years and raised my kids there. I moved away the first chance I got as soon as the last kid left high school.
On the opposite end of the spectrum I had traveled to and through an area that felt 'good' to me and when I moved there later I instantly felt at home. A lot of that had to do with a climate that satisfied my wants and the opportunity for the types of outdoor activities that I liked to do and had missed being able to do in previous locations. For me it had very little to do with other people or sense of community.
I’ve lived in Atlanta area for two months or so and genuinely for the most part like the area. But I still have no “roots” here yet and I’m not sure when I’m going to have that feeling.
What gave you that feeling? That “ah yes, this is my long-term home, this is my city/town”… and how long did it take?
I still don't have that feeling, having moved 9 times in 36 years. My longest stint is 7 years and I've been in FL now 9 years, so I'm getting that feeling....again. And I'll probably go back home to Philly....again. I'm 72 now and there's no place like home.
That said, two months is WAY not long enough for the new city to feel like 'home'. I'd say give it at least two years.
I've found that the reason I ended up moving to that location influenced how welcoming it felt. If it was to take a coveted job or a climate or locale I really wanted to experience for personal reasons, feeling at home sort of came along with that. If I realized that moving to that place was sort of an investment in the future or a stepping stone to something farther down the line, it might never feel "homey", but it was acceptable for the short term. Most of the places I've moved didn't end up feeling unwelcoming as long as I was clear with myself about the reason to be there.
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-03-2022 at 12:29 PM..
We moved to the south because my husbands job took him here a lot, and also because our youngest child lived here. We are retired and have no children or friends nearby anymore. When we move again, it needs to be near a kid. So far they all live in the frozen north, so we would miss the warm winters, but being close to family is more important.
Wanted to leave Chicago suburbs: looked at Madison WI, St George UT, and Savannah GA. Ended in MN metropolis: so glad I didn't choose the first 3; kick myself for not doing Southern California (the reality sunk in that it's waaaayyy different than back in the 80's/early 90's) but have found something tolerable about living in a pocket of a major city.
Love the choices: I'd die if there was only a Walmart and 1 grocery around.
Family members aren't good people (good ones passed on) so that burden is off us!
After a visit to South Florida, it was good to see not only the sunshine, but the lack of encampments and trash on the side of the roads. A lot of Washington has a seedy run down look, contrast it with South Florida, it’s a boom town and a clean one at that. I like the fact that people are living well without seeing cardboard boxes and people in them.
I kept exclaiming to the realtor how clean everything is. She must have wondered what kind of environment I was living in, but my pictures of various neighbors and the local area, leaves friends shaking their heads. I have yet to see an encampment or tent by a freeway, in Olympia, they’re at nearly every exit. I saw a guy standing by a stoplight and thought he was panhandling, but no, he was holding a sign for a store. Working for a living, what a novel idea.
The general cleanliness of the area, friendly people and tropical vibe reminds me of the islands. Collier county also shares the Caribbean attitude towards chickens, they’re everywhere. A lot of neighboring counties have people trying to keep backyard chickens, so I appreciate Collier.
It’s hard to know what the future holds, but I’ve always loved the beach areas. With Washington the beauty of the area was the draw, but many issues like the steady uptick in homelessness and the sex offender house close by, inspired us to look further. The gorgeous tropical sunsets here, sealed the deal.
I think two things, that let me know that my new city was "home." The first was to find some favourite places around town (favourite park, pizza place, movie theatre, shopping street, beach, place to get an ice cream, etc.). When you have your preferences and your opinions, you feel like a local. The other sign, I guess was when people would stop me to ask for directions, and I was able to give them an answer. Navigation abilities are key.
With my last move back home I have moved 51 times between 1974 and 2021. I was always looking for that special place to feel good to be in my new town, city or burg. It seemed it was always a different spot or business in the new place I was living. I never have felt 100% comfortable anywhere.
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