Do it for you daughter? (relocation, job, renting, move)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have been fighting a relocation(2,400 miles) with my ex-wife and her husband from Cincinnati to Tacoma, WA for the past year. $5,400 later and no headway for either party has me seriously considering this move. To stay will require about another $3,000. More importantly, more "weird" parenting investigations for my girl, the constant venom spued from her mother, and the overall feeling of insecurity for everyone involved really has its effects.
We have worked out a tenative agreement. An agreement that will increse my visitation from 104 overnights per year to 156 overnights per year. My girl and I are already very close, and she is aware of what is going on. She said "mom said we would have each other another day a week". I have the paperwork and it all looks good, it brings me more time with my girl and it is financilaly lucrative ($500-600 / month).
There still is very much to consider!
1. Once I sign these papers, the move will be in July and there will be no way to get her back to Cincy, so if I get ill and lose everything and need to come home, or if things aren't working out....whatever, SHE is there.
2. I have a Mom and a Stepdad and a Stepsister with 4 great kids, thats my family. My Mom is the one who, is not wanting to hear about it, and has all kinds of warnings to fire off, not real sure how to handle that. I feel like I am leaving her (shes 52). What if something happens. She was a single Mom raising a child of an absent father for a long time, and I feel like I owe her more thatn taking her only son and grandaughter across the country.
3. I have fallen back on my trade (concrete) for the past year, due to the economy, and do not have a job out there as of yet. I have a 2 year degree and used to be a Estimator / Project manager until the downturn. I will need to make my decision to move before I have anything locked in out there (Real estate to sell). Who knows what it will be like!! I have a hunch it's better than Cincinnati. But as a father, it is hard to justify a decision like that on a hunch.
I am just TOTALLY consumed by this and I don't have alot of people to talk to. The thing that keeps me going is that, ever since I said I would consider this, the tone has dramatically changed between my ex and I. MY daughter seems happier. It is not uncofortable to talk about things at Mom's house. My ex called me last week about a situation with Gracie, and we BAD COP - BAD COPPED her. So we as working parents are disciplining much more appropriately. I feel like the "golden boy" to my ex right now. I just don't know how much I trust it all. But what ever it is it feels good. Is this a "do it for your daughter" situation, or do I need to re-evaluate my motives?
I have been fighting a relocation(2,400 miles) with my ex-wife and her husband from Cincinnati to Tacoma, WA for the past year. $5,400 later and no headway for either party has me seriously considering this move. To stay will require about another $3,000. More importantly, more "weird" parenting investigations for my girl, the constant venom spued from her mother, and the overall feeling of insecurity for everyone involved really has its effects.
We have worked out a tenative agreement. An agreement that will increse my visitation from 104 overnights per year to 156 overnights per year. My girl and I are already very close, and she is aware of what is going on. She said "mom said we would have each other another day a week". I have the paperwork and it all looks good, it brings me more time with my girl and it is financilaly lucrative ($500-600 / month).
There still is very much to consider!
1. Once I sign these papers, the move will be in July and there will be no way to get her back to Cincy, so if I get ill and lose everything and need to come home, or if things aren't working out....whatever, SHE is there.
2. I have a Mom and a Stepdad and a Stepsister with 4 great kids, thats my family. My Mom is the one who, is not wanting to hear about it, and has all kinds of warnings to fire off, not real sure how to handle that. I feel like I am leaving her (shes 52). What if something happens. She was a single Mom raising a child of an absent father for a long time, and I feel like I owe her more thatn taking her only son and grandaughter across the country.
3. I have fallen back on my trade (concrete) for the past year, due to the economy, and do not have a job out there as of yet. I have a 2 year degree and used to be a Estimator / Project manager until the downturn. I will need to make my decision to move before I have anything locked in out there (Real estate to sell). Who knows what it will be like!! I have a hunch it's better than Cincinnati. But as a father, it is hard to justify a decision like that on a hunch.
I am just TOTALLY consumed by this and I don't have alot of people to talk to. The thing that keeps me going is that, ever since I said I would consider this, the tone has dramatically changed between my ex and I. MY daughter seems happier. It is not uncofortable to talk about things at Mom's house. My ex called me last week about a situation with Gracie, and we BAD COP - BAD COPPED her. So we as working parents are disciplining much more appropriately. I feel like the "golden boy" to my ex right now. I just don't know how much I trust it all. But what ever it is it feels good. Is this a "do it for your daughter" situation, or do I need to re-evaluate my motives?
Thank you,
Jeff
Hi Jeff...I don't quite understand all your points about your situation...it sounds very complicated...so all I can say is, if it were me, I would do what was best for my daughter. I don't think that you would regret that. Good luck!