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I can empathize with you my friend. I too am from Ohio and relocated to Chicago three years ago. My husband took a promotion and we were excited. I got here and absolutely hated it. My children adapted well and so did my husband. But because I am so close to my family, I didn't adapt. No one can replace family, but find a connection for you and your family. It can be church, community organization, neighbors, etc.
The people here are rude. The neighbors are not as nice and friendly as what I am used to. The schools are not as good as Ohio schools. But that was the chance we took when we came here. Now I know! I have no regrets.
I am not sure if your feelings will change. Some places aren't a good fit for some people. I have still not adapted to where I am. I love OHIO. My husband took another promotion here last year, so I stuck it out again. Now, we are looking in Ohio. The job market is pretty bad right now. I am okay with it taking some time to get back to where I want to be. I am not going to give away my house. I do think we can get there within a year. I haven't worked in 5 years, I stay at home with the kids. But I am willing to go back to work if I can get a company to move us. That's how bad I want it.
But for you and for now, I say stick it out. Give it some time and don't make any hastey decisions. That may have been what got you in your situation in the first place. If in another year you want to move back, then make some effort to do so. Until then, enjoy what you have and make the most of it!
Thanks for the advice. I am looking at the summer of 2010 to move back if things stay the same. My in-laws are now in need of some care, and we need to decide if we are to help them in their last years. If I knew now how hard this would be I would not have left in the first place, but that is so cliche.
Right now we are saving money and giving it one more year. the job situation is not good, but I will find something I'm sure.
If by next summer we say "let's go back' then we will. I have regrets moving, but I know if I had never done it I would still be in Ohio looking for a promotion somewhere else. It took this to make me realize what is important in my life. If I had never moved I would still be immature in my view of life. it was a tough lesson but a lesson learned.
Jeeze, quit your whining and get a grip on yourself. You have everything a person could ask for, and yet you complain.
Make a plan to find a job you like in a place you like, but don't go do anything stupid until you've lined up something suitable.
Didn't you do any research on Chicago before moving? Could also the problem with Chicago be YOU not the people, place etc. You sound like one of those people who won't even try to adapt. I hated Florida when I first moved here but love it now because I tried and didn't just write it off. I feel for your hubby because you just put a lot of pressure on him. He is getting used to a new job and he also has to deal with an unhappy wife.
I am back in Ohio as I type this. My Father passed away on Easter. He was only 65. We just had the funeral yesterday. This makes things harder as my Mother is now on her own. I am going to worry about her. Wasn't expecting this so soon. We have to go back to Texas on Saturday, and I don't want to leave here.
I know we'll end up moving back, probably Spring of 2010. The kids will miss new friends in Texas, but we are going to keep our Ohio ties strong so when we get back the kids can fit right back in.
Thanks
Sorry to hear about your Father passing. I truly understand what it's like to be away from family. Most of my family is in the mid-west and my husbands' family is in Florida. My daughter nor were we used to being in a place where there was no support system however, we make the best of it. My daughter goes with grandma and great grand every single summer, as do most of the grandchildren. This way they still have the family values and experiences that I had as a child (wisdom and guidance of great aunts and uncles; an abundance of cousins).
In addition every Christmas either my mom and grandmother come here or my daughter goes there. Her birthday, my mom comes and on school breaks at least one of my brother or sisters children come here.
Daily phone calls to grandma and great grandma are a MUST. She communicates with aunts/uncles and cousins via email regularly sharing photos and so forth. This keeps the children grounded and gives them a real sense of what is IMPORTANT in life.
In terms of your Wife's health - I would suggest a therapist (need a recommendation, I have one who is a personal friend-PM me if you're interested). Has your Wife made any friends - real friends? I also agree with some of the other posters in that she might find some happiness in volunteering or working a p/t job, just to keep her active. Being a stay-at-home mom, with no family can cause anyone to become severely depressed.
In closing, it seems that you have realized that no amount of $$ can replace the things in life that are TRULY important. I wish you and your family the best
Jeeze, quit your whining and get a grip on yourself. You have everything a person could ask for, and yet you complain.
Make a plan to find a job you like in a place you like, but don't go do anything stupid until you've lined up something suitable.
Thanks for your response! I posted my issue to help someone else and myself. I won't make any hastey decisions either. I will wait for something suitable!
Didn't you do any research on Chicago before moving? Could also the problem with Chicago be YOU not the people, place etc. You sound like one of those people who won't even try to adapt. I hated Florida when I first moved here but love it now because I tried and didn't just write it off. I feel for your hubby because you just put a lot of pressure on him. He is getting used to a new job and he also has to deal with an unhappy wife.
Wow, you're a bit harsh. It very well could be me. I have made connections through church, but other than that NOTHING. For me, I think it is just not what I expected and not what I am used to. Thanks for your opinion!
Thanks for the advice. I am looking at the summer of 2010 to move back if things stay the same. My in-laws are now in need of some care, and we need to decide if we are to help them in their last years. If I knew now how hard this would be I would not have left in the first place, but that is so cliche.
Right now we are saving money and giving it one more year. the job situation is not good, but I will find something I'm sure.
If by next summer we say "let's go back' then we will. I have regrets moving, but I know if I had never done it I would still be in Ohio looking for a promotion somewhere else. It took this to make me realize what is important in my life. If I had never moved I would still be immature in my view of life. it was a tough lesson but a lesson learned.
Have a good day!
Good for you! Sounds like you are rationalizing now. I am happy for you and wish you much luck and success!
Jeeze, quit your whining and get a grip on yourself. You have everything a person could ask for, and yet you complain.
Make a plan to find a job you like in a place you like, but don't go do anything stupid until you've lined up something suitable.
This is the point I am trying to make. I have found in my life what is really meaningful. I don't have "everything" because a house, money, ect. is not important. family bonding and the memories involved are what is important. I think I have hit a significant milestone in my lofe, because a year ago I was into material things and not what is really important to me.
has she been getting treatment for the depression??
that is likely a major cause of her lack of energy ..... and likely exacerbating her feelings of stress and anxiety......
you are right... money and "things" are not the be all and end all..... BUT you do still want to provide a good, stable and comfortable life for your family and that DOES require $$$....... something to weigh carefully before your next jump from the frying pan to the fire........
I too have spent decades away from family. It is a big price to pay. I never wanted to leave, but we really had no choice if we wanted to earn a living.
You have gotten some excellent advice here about staying in touch with the family and biding your time. No need it seems to me to just quit and go home in this miserable economy.
You have a timeline and that is good. Now enjoy the time in Tx like a mini-adventure that will broaden the kids perspective as well as your own. You know what you ultimately are aiming for- a return to roots. So--I wish you godspeed and enjoy the journey along the way home.
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