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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler
I think moving out to the greater Washington DC area (after living in small town Minnesota), really changed me as a person. Because it is so harsh and unfriendly here, I find that I am more likely to treat people in the same way. I am much more abrupt and cold in my interactions with people because that is how many people out here treat me.
I wonder if I moved to a smaller town in the more relaxed part of the country I would start interacting with people in a different way. Maybe I would expect people to be nicer and would interact with neighbors and coworkers in with a more relaxed and friendly touch.
Did your personality and "outlook on life" change after relocating?
i moved to the same area and the same things happened to me. i moved from hampton, va which ain't really friendly but is more laid back than DC. but i find in my town (alexandria) the west end (the middle/working class area) has a few friendly folks than the richer areas which i ain't met one yet.
When I first moved from NJ to VA when I was 26 I didn't really notice much about myself but the locals there did,they seemed to be taken aback somewhat by my 'attitude' they'd say. When I moved back up a couple years later that's when I started to notice changes.
I noticed and others did also that when I came back I seemed more laid back,and after a short time back I joked that my blood pressure was back up also!
Now I've got just a bad mix of 'Jersey attitude' AND on top of that a bit of the Philly attitude as well! Needless to say I'm surprised I've not been in jail or a mental institution yet!
If I am to sustain I Must get out of here...soon!
I think my outlook has changed. Being from the front range of Colorado I guess I always thought people from rural areas would be hospitable and friendly. I was completely wrong and ignorant about rural culture on the plains. After Nebraska and North Dakota I have no intention of living in a rural or small town environment ever again. Anything of less then a million people in the metro is not where I want to be. My experiences is people in small towns are absolute and absoluteist means being mean, manipulative, fake and phony and rude at least in medium and larger sized cities you have a mix of people (very nice but some rude also) but not absoluteist in small towns.
Not to mention larger cities arent absoluteist in nature as opposed to smaller towns and states where once youve met one individual you have met them all sort of situation.
So my outlook has changed and I guess in my opinion that I have no interest in small towns anymore and prefer medium and large sized cities. After living in Nebraska and North Dakota I will never complain again about being a crowd or amongst alot of people.
Your entitled to your opinion too and you should express it! I been harassed on here, followed around and etc for my views, but I still stand by them, will not be forced to keep quite, we all have a right to express our opinion and we should never give someone power over us, infact, I do it more if I feel someone is trying to control me
It does matter! I been in nice places where I felt welcomed, free and life was good and then I been in really snobby areas that did not like new comers and etc. It can be done...alot of research much be done, but it can be done, you can find the most perfect place to be content with! Good luck to all who search!
Now I think that the perfect place for me only exists as a state of mind. There are things I've liked and disliked about every place I've lived and I'd say it has changed my personality to being more a relativist, as opposed to absolutist if there were such a term.
Being from NJ, I tried to shed my less than polished demeanor when moving to NYC (pre Giuliani), where I also picked up the self-defense mechanism quickly. The post about walking too fast was me, too! I knew where the subway doors would open based on the spots/markings on the platforms. I also found that I had developed little tolerance for those who didn't seem to know exactly what they were doing, like they were just obstacles creating a big traffic jam (literally and figuratively).
When I first moved to northern CA and was greeted with smiles, my thoughts were usually a sarcastic, "Boy, aren't you high on life?!!" or "what do you want?" I was also dumbfounded at times by what seemed to me as oversimplified interpretation of the way things were. Also realized I'm more conservative than I had thought. I did eventually learn how to chill out somewhat...
Now I'm still trying to adjust to life in the Midwest, but unfortunately my experience is turning out to be similar to the poster who was working/stopping by the DC area, and can understand some of the complaints raised above.
I've never lived anyplace that didn't change me. Every single place had redeeming qualities and interesting people and places to explore. They all had things I didn't like as well. I am partially a product of my environment. Relocating forced me to become more adaptable and willing to change. There's always something new to learn and see.
Well, one thing big changed for me after moving to Phoenix from DC; I learned that you get what you pay for. I moved to Phoenix for several reasons, but the biggest was that I thought I could buy a big home out in the burbs and "settle down." After being out here for about two years I learned that is not what I want. The entire Phoenix metro area is essentially the burbs and I HATE IT. It is so boring, fake, and devoid of culture. I'm miserable and I live in what many would consider to be the "urban" area of Phoenix.
I've come to appreciate the history, culture, and charm of older things. New is not always better! I've also learned that bigger is not always better either! And finally I have learned that there is a reason some places are cheap and some places are expensive. And that cheap places to live often lack a lot of the desirable things that make an area have a high quality of life. I guess I took so many things for granted living in Washington.
I've constantly thought that I made the biggest mistake of my life by moving out here and essentially wasting two years in this place. In some respects I do think it was a waste, but at least I can take solace in the fact that I learned what is really important in life.
I have had nearly identical experiences. I find that my guard, even after 6 years is still pretty high because of my NYC experiences. People in NE Indiana where I am now are very friendly.
My outlook on life has also changed considerably. I used to be worried about "getting ahead"/"making lots of money", and about accomplishing as much as possible as quickly as possible. Rush rush rush... I used to walk so fast just about anywhere that I found myself being told by the mid-westerners I hang out with now, slow down please (I wouldn't even breathe hard but I would outwalk anyone here!).. LOL.
I am much more relaxed now, no more daily 1 mile long traffic jams which require an hour to get to just the next exit. Overall, I think moving was the best thing I could have done for my health. Work-wise, the same thing, a definite improvement. Those which I worked directly with in NYC, a bunch of sharks compared to new co-workers and managers. I was friends with each, but without fail anyone of them would take credit for my work or ideas in any situation they could to make themselves look better. It was ridiculous and stressful but I don't fault any of them directly. When you find yourself growing up in an area where there is a huge difference between the haves and have-nots, I can see how one develops these protective-mechanisms to ensure you never lose it all yourself.
Funny I have a totally different experience of the Midwest.
Living in the Chicago northern suburbs has made me more aggressive and fast, driving on the expressway and all, rule conscious and oriented as stuff here is, less relaxed, probably like northern Virginia/DC area in that respect. Its also made me more class and social conscious, into consumption culture -- big huge mexican underclass servicing the population here. Get me out lol. Staying in one place too long is a bad idea.
Going to college in Champaign for four years made me realize that I will always need to live in a large metropolitan area anchored by a true urban city. Don't get me wrong - those were four of the most fun years of my life, but by my senior year, I was itching like crazy to get back to Chicago. Proximity to the cultural opportunities, nightlife, restaurants, parks, and everything that goes along with a world-class city is absolutely essential to me. I definitely found out that I'm not a small town guy in any shape or form. In fact, I don't know if it would be possible for me to live in a metro area that's smaller in terms of population than Chicago (which only leaves NYC and LA in the US, so there aren't many other choices out there).
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