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After i got out of the navy, I packed up all i owned into a 1990 Ford Bronco in Kentucky and headed west. Went to Vegas. I loved the whole adventure of it. Driving across hoover dam at 3:30 in the morning, no traffic and just the sounds of the exhaust (had a nice sound) then coming over the hill and seeing vegas in all it's glory lighting up the desert, wow, thats a trip i will never forget!
I had a job by 11 am (this was in 1999, long before the recession) and a furnished apt by 2pm that day (referred to by the manager at the new job). I still miss those times!
I have friends from high school who envy me for travelling and seeing the world, and I am envious of them by having close friends in the same area their whole lives. Point being, there are pros and cons to everything.
STVLightning, same here. Vegas was on the way home one time from travelling through the US with a boyfriend at the time. Wasn't too keen on visiting the place as we had no money, but came over the hill just at dusk and couldn't believe all the shimmering lights happening.
Suddenly the blood was pumping and couldn't believe how exciting it felt!
Found some $10 dive to spend the night and went and blew about $50, plus ended up hocking a couple things (his)
Next morning found us standing in the free breakfast line-up with one of those coupons in hand. Lots of fun.
Also meant to say, when you do move away, especially when you're the only one to do it, you'll probably be inundated with friends and family coming to visit, once you've 'paved' the way.
Couldn't believe the number of people who came to visit, in fact, got kicked out of a really great place in an orchard for running a commune.
People were sleeping everywhere, all over the floor .. one of my sisters even ended up sleeping in the bathtub for a few nights during a busier than usual time.
who is to say that your family members will not move.
I have heard of these things happening alot.
For instance, the person returns home to be with family and before you know it, your sisters are leaving because they got married. Your brother got a great job offer across the US and your parents retire to a warmer climate. There you sit because you moved home to be with your family.
It makes you think if they were in your shoes would they move away?
STVLightning, same here. Vegas was on the way home one time from travelling through the US with a boyfriend at the time. Wasn't too keen on visiting the place as we had no money, but came over the hill just at dusk and couldn't believe all the shimmering lights happening.
Suddenly the blood was pumping and couldn't believe how exciting it felt!
Found some $10 dive to spend the night and went and blew about $50, plus ended up hocking a couple things (his)
Next morning found us standing in the free breakfast line-up with one of those coupons in hand. Lots of fun.
Vegas does have that effect. It kinda reminds me of that Tracy Chapman song "Fast Car". Something about it makes you want to keep on driving and try something different.
I think if you want to make a move, now is the time to do it. Once you get married and have to worry about a spouse and his/her career, then have children and have concerns about wanting the support of family members, then it will be more challenging.
I was 21 when I graduated college and accepted a position in the government in Virginia. My immediate family was in FL at the time, and the rest of my family in NY and in the islands. It was the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I had ever done. I learned to be more self-reliant, but I also learned the importance of family and how much of a support system they provide. It's almost 7 years later and I am still in VA, and now my parents and brother are talking about possibly relocating here. I will say that living away from family, is not without it's challenges; as little things you take for granted you will certainly miss. But I have never regretted it.
I'm sure you appreciate your family all the more too. That is great that you met your soul mate. I see your in TX..that is where my current desires are leading .
LOL - well come on down!
I always say..."Yankee by birth...Southerner by choice"
who is to say that your family members will not move.
I have heard of these things happening alot.
For instance, the person returns home to be with family and before you know it, your sisters are leaving because they got married. Your brother got a great job offer across the US and your parents retire to a warmer climate. There you sit because you moved home to be with your family.
It makes you think if they were in your shoes would they move away?
Very good point. My neice moved out of state after visiting friends. Now her parents are planning to move there as soon as she finishes getting her masters. They had no plans at all to move before. Half of the siblings have moved off already. Some people stay because they will be near family but as kids grow up and people retire or get new jobs its likely family will migrate.
I moved from California to here in Oklahoma a bit over a year ago. I have a couple of friends in town but don't see them often. After the "why would you want to move there?" the next question was why would I leave family behind.
I miss the gatherings for birthdays and call friends in California a lot. But this was really making a clean break from some bad memories and finding a completely different place. I'm not sure how long it took but on the way to the store with a friend on a grey and mucky day recently I realized that I felt perfectly comfortable. Its amazing how when you break the physical connection with a place and all the memories it holds, you can find a lot more inside of yourself too.
One friend of mine is really in awe that I'd take the plunge and move to a new place. So many people are too afraid. But my experience is that while there are times you sit and wonder and times you feel much nostalgia, even sadness, there are no words to describe the feeling of really, fully starting new.
Today we have phones, the net, chats, lots of ways to keep in touch and are lucky. But even before we had that, people left to start over even knowing they might never see anyone again.
Can anyone share a story, preferably a positive one, about picking up and leaving your hometown without your family, and how your life turned out the better for it. I've been battling an inner pull to leave my hometown where 85% of my maternal and paternal family lives. It's been nagging for the past 2 years, and I feel very dissatisfied on many levels. I'm 27 in NYC.
I did this when I was 18. Come from the sticks in NC, big house on top of hill- farm animals and pastures. 20 minutes til the nearest town. No close neighbors, etc.
My family history has been rough (as in generation to generation)- hard workers but no 'legacy' except hard workers and kindness.
I'm the youngest of 5 and they all started working at the age of 15/16 at Burger King, grocery stores, cotton mills, etc. They all got married young and had children.
I just didn't want that. I wanted more- but the cards were stacked against me. I went into the military, traveled the world. I had 3 children and have had several annulments (not that I'm not the marrying kind- it's just my choices were very poor, very poor).
A while back I chose Las Vegas to retire and to start nursing school. My mom got sick and was placed on Hospice...wanted me to move in w/ her so she wouldn't have to go to a nursing home. I did.
And here I am, one year after her passing. Renovating her home and taking care of her cat.
Mom always said I needed roots and she made me promise to get buried beside of her and to stay in her home....she did say I could 'vacation' but I needed a home base.
Well, here I am. Keeping the promise I made to mother but doing an awful lot of traveling.
Some people have roots, others have wings. I'm definitely a wing woman.
Thoughout the past 20 years I've always visited home once a year-flying in from some exotic locale, and then would leave a few weeks later.
Mother said she never cried when one of my sisters visited and left (they are close by or a state or 2 away), but she said she would cry each time I left.
For me it wasn't dissatisfaction- it was the thought that there was so much more out there to be discovered.
Go, make it an adventure. Just always call your mom weekly AND don't forget birthdays.
It's gonna be hard, but your family will be glad for you when you leave- as in- you are doing what you want to do-no matter the obstacles.
There are some wonderful answers you've gotten here. Battle no longer, lilacjamila. You will always have those butterflies. I think everyone has fear or trepidation to some extent. In that, you are definitely not alone.
I moved from my family when I was eighteen. Three thousand miles later I ended up in New York.
I met the love of my life, my first husband. I made lifelong friends. I was and remain closer to a few of them than some in my immediate family. I got to see some of the greatest artists in history perform. I grew up.
There were the usual life-bumps along the way, but I never had a single regret for moving. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't hesitate for a second.
I missed my family, but spoke with them often & visited them whenever I could. You won't be as cut-off from your family as you might imagine. You never know, a few of them might take courage and follow your example.
Please keep everybody posted. Treasure and enjoy the freedom you have to actually move. Worst case, you move back home if you don't like it, right? Good luck to you ~
You can't hold yourself responsible for your relative's choice in a place to live. Most of my family is in Gwinnett County, near Atlanta, GA. You couldn't give me a house there, the traffic, the crowding, the heat, the humidity, the rain, did I mention it's damp there?
Back in '82, I headed out to Idaho for my first job in the nuclear industry. I go back home to visit occasionally, but no way would I live there.
The way I look at it, I say "What would a Viking do?". And then I do it (provided it won't get me locked up!)
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Lots of fun.
