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Old 01-14-2010, 08:02 PM
 
303 posts, read 531,201 times
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This seems ridiculous to me. These people have a year to unpack. Anyone else deal with "friends" like this?
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:16 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 100,992,038 times
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I think you should be honest with them about how you feel so they can quickly realize that you're not a real friend.

Real friends do things to help friends whether it makes sense or not, and those friends will be there to return the favor even if it doesn't make sense.

Real friends don't ask why. Real friends don't complain. And real friends don't put the word "friends" in quotes.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:21 PM
 
303 posts, read 531,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I think you should be honest with them about how you feel so they can quickly realize that you're not a real friend.

Real friends do things to help friends whether it makes sense or not, and those friends will be there to return the favor even if it doesn't make sense.

Real friends don't ask why. Real friends don't complain. And real friends don't put the word "friends" in quotes.
And I think, you don't "know me." In quotes. Good grief. I've done several moves on my own and never imposed on anyone. I am perfectly capable of organizing my time and packing and unpacking my own damn boxes. That *is* why movers get paid and I paid them.

Like I said, a year is enough time to unpack boxes and I sure as H should not be expected to drive 50 miles roundtrip on the day it suits these people. I did offer to help on Saturday, but, sorry, these people want a Sunday mover. No can do. And, btw, hire a mover the next time. You strike me as a mooch.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:31 PM
 
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It's not an exact trade. Maybe you can move and unpack on your own, but maybe you might need them to help you with something completely different one day.

Even if you never need something, it's nice to do because it feels good to help people!

I'm ALWAYS willing to help anyone who asks me for help---even neighbors and aquaintances. So I'm not a mooch. I'm a NICE person.

Don't assume I've asked people to help me move. I've lived in the same house for 20 years. When I moved here, I hired a mover.

However, I've helped countless friends move. I've helped friends put new roofs on their houses even though I'm terrified of heights. I could go on and on.

You offered to help on a day that was convenient. That's good enough. There's no reason to create a thread and complain about them.

Try being honest to their faces about how you truly feel about them.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:35 PM
 
303 posts, read 531,201 times
Reputation: 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's not an exact trade. Maybe you can move and unpack on your own, but maybe you might need them to help you with something completely different one day.

Even if you never need something, it's nice to do because it feels good to help people!

I'm ALWAYS willing to help anyone who asks me for help---even neighbors and aquaintances. So I'm not a mooch. I'm a NICE person.

Don't assume I've asked people to help me move. I've lived in the same house for 20 years. When I moved here, I hired a mover.

However, I've helped countless friends move. I've helped friends put new roofs on their houses even though I'm terrified of heights. I could go on and on.

You offered to help on a day that was convenient. That's good enough. There's no reason to create a thread and complain about them.

Try being honest to their faces about how you truly feel about them.
No, I will just stand my ground. As an FYI, I just went to a food bank today to volunteer - out of my way and my time. Next week I teach skills to homeless youth, so don't lecture me about kindness.

I just don't see why able-bodied people see fit to mooch off others.

People need to realize that NO ONE likes to move boxes and to PAY OTHERS for services.

Last edited by puglywump; 01-14-2010 at 08:45 PM.. Reason: underline
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:24 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 100,992,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puglywump View Post
I just don't see why able-bodied people see fit to mooch off others.

People need to realize that NO ONE likes to move boxes and to PAY OTHERS for services.
I see no reason why you shouldn't be honest about how you feel about them. Most people would want to know you don't like them.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:52 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 3,246,162 times
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pugly - if you are just looking for someone to justify your feelings, why are you being hostile?

So you prefer to hire movers. It's not written in stone that this is how everyone should move. Perhaps because they are able-bodied is why they prefer to not use movers?

If you don't want to help them move, politely decline and let them know you already have other plans. I'm sure in the long run they would prefer to go without your help if you will carry resentment the entire time.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:57 PM
 
809 posts, read 2,065,661 times
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It can be frustrating, puglywump. I've learned enough about myself to not offer my help if I'm going to end up resenting the act and the person I'm "helping". Some people really can be unreasonable (according to my set of standards) when it comes to defining the terms of the help they need.

Speaking only for myself, I can be a royal jerk sometimes.
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Old 01-18-2010, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Central Fl
2,903 posts, read 11,857,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
pugly - if you are just looking for someone to justify your feelings, why are you being hostile?

So you prefer to hire movers. It's not written in stone that this is how everyone should move. Perhaps because they are able-bodied is why they prefer to not use movers?

If you don't want to help them move, politely decline and let them know you already have other plans. I'm sure in the long run they would prefer to go without your help if you will carry resentment the entire time.
Good post.
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Old 01-18-2010, 08:29 AM
Status: "Too Tired" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
13,847 posts, read 17,510,134 times
Reputation: 34310
Puglywump, in my neck of the woods it pretty standard to ask for help with moving, and to ask for help when painting your house. Usually several people are asked to help out, beer and pizza (or whatever) are provided, and the friends spend the day together working and enjoying each others company. It's considered a social occasion as much as anything else. Barn raising anyone?
Perhaps this idea is what your friends had in mind? Or...they could be mooches just looking to use you.
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