which is more important? (renting, schools, move, home)
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Is it more important for you to be close to family or have an excellent school system for your kids?
I'm torn. Right now we live about 1.75 hours away from family and only see them a few times a year. We would love to be closer to them. In a few years we plan to buy a home. There are 2 areas we can afford....one is 30 min from family but the schools aren't that great (3-5 out of 10). The other is 5.5 hours away, but the schools are better (7-9 out of 10).
WWYD?
That is a tough one to answer, and I do understand your dilemma.
I think it would depend on a lot of factors, but the first ones that come to mind are:
1) What kind of family do you have? Are they very supportive of you and your children? Will they attend dance recitals, soccer games, etc? Will they have family picnics and attend yours? In other words, will your children have the benefit of being loved and supported by additional members of the family?
The reason why I ask is that I do think that love and support of an extended family does have a value to it. That being said, if your family has a lot of drama and there are members that aren't always a positive influence, then that is something to consider as well.
2) What kind of kids do you have? Are they the type that do well anywhere? Do they have special needs? Even if they do not have special needs, are they shy, have any trouble in school or with learning, etc? For some children, I do believe the quality of the school enivironment can make a huge difference. Other kids, I believe, will probably do well just about anywhere.
If getting your kids into a top college or university is your top priority, then the school system should probably be your most important factor.
But I try to look at it like this -- we are raising adults, not children. In other words, they are the future of our society. We want them to get the best educations possible, but not just in the classroom. We want them to be well-rounded individuals, capable of compassion, adaptable to different situations, be the best citizens of our society that they can be. They need all the support they can get -- at home, at school, and in the community.
Thanks for the great answer! To answer question #1, my family is awesome. Very loving, very supportive, wouldn't miss a kid's play, etc. Actually, it's DH's family, not mine (mine is more drama lol). I am not use to a family that everyone is genuinely happy to see each other and I really like it. I would love my kids to be around them as much as possible b/c I would like them to have the same values.
#2: My kids are 6, 4 and 1.5, all girls. Only my oldest is in school right now. She is super smart and her Pre-K teacher and now her Kindergarten teacher have both told me she is the "perfect student". My 4 year old is starting Pre-K in the fall. She is also very smart, but isn't as focused as my 6 year old. She is a free spirit and loves to dress up and chase butterflies lol. I think that she will do well in school. And the baby? It's too early to tell.
The good news it that we won't be ready to move for a few years, so we have quite a while to think about it.
I grew up 5 minutes from most of my family and still almost never saw them. Go for what is best for your kids and family. Pick the area you like the best although, as was stated.. it isn't so much the school as it is parent involvment. Kids are bad at every school
I think you should research carefully the school districts- 3-5 ratings are pretty low. Check out funding issues, space issues, class sizes, graduation rates, etc. Parenting is the most important aspect but if the teachers are busy disciplining other kids all day long your good student isn't going to get much attention.
Very difficult decision to make. I, myself, cannot live anywhere far from family. And I also cannot imagine being in a place where schools suck. I think you should think about it more. On one hand, your kids are still young, and you can like "supplement" whatever learning they get from school. So that should make a not-too-great school district a non-issue. On the other hand, we don't really try to meet up with family everyday do we? Yeah, we need support, but it's nothing Internet connection cannot help us with. A distance of five hours or so isn't too much.
How are you hearing about the schools ratings? Honestly most school systems are falling behind. You should live closer to family and give your children education at home in addition to what they receive at school. Parents can really increase a child's education by continuing it at home. Plus you will have family close by to also teach your children alternative things.
Living in the same town is no guarantee of closeness or involvement. 2 hours away is close enough that you can see your family any time that you really want to do so and far enough away that no one is going to be dropping in on you without calling first.
You have your own family now. Make your decision based on the needs and wants of that family.
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