Getting cold feet about moving into first house (job, rental, transport)
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My husband and I are first-time home buyers. We're about to buy our first house. We've been renting forever, and felt that it was time to take this next step. We're very excited to finally have our own place, but I've started feeling anxious about this move.
Now that we're under contract, I'm getting major cold feet. We really like the house and the area, and we were house-hunting for 9 months before we finally found something we liked. It's just that I have gotten used to city life, and living in our small rental and the convenience to the city, and now thinking about moving out of the city is giving me cold feet. I guess I feel a certain amount of comfort in the convenience and walkability to everything that we have here in the city, and I guess the isolation of the 'burbs and the fact that there's nothing to walk to/no public transportation is kind of making me feel anxious. Also, I feel like we're moving away from the carefree lifestyle we've had since we got married, where we rent, eat out every night, take advantage of the cultural opportunities of the city, use public transportation, etc. and are now moving toward a more grownup type of lifestyle in the 'burbs where we spend our Saturdays doing yardwork instead of going out and about in the city. I guess I am resisting that grownup lifestyle somewhat.
I'm trying to focus on how great it will actually be to have a house and a yard instead of a tiny patio, and how nice it will be to be able to paint and decorate how we want instead of having beige walls and beige carpet. I'm also trying to focus on how we will finally feel like we're putting down roots, instead of moving from rental to rental. But I still feel a large amount of anxiety about this move, because I've never been good with transitions.
There's nothing stopping you from still enjoying the city; you'll just be able to retreat somewhere quiet and comforting when you leave. It sounds like you are excited about the opportunity of having a more personalized home, you should focus on that.
Just because you're getting a house doesn't mean that you'll have to stop living altogether; you can still go to the city for events and to have fun, you just won't have to deal with the noise on a daily basis anymore.
P.S. The 'grownup' lifestyle is b.s. Being an adult means that YOU can choose how you live your life. Don't let a building dictate how you live and enjoy your life.
Anything else giving you anxiety?
Financial commitments to the loan?
Lack of mobility should you have to find another job?
Cultural/demographic differences between suburbs and city?
Commuting?
Are kids in the immediate future?
If it makes you feel any better, interest rates on loans are as low as they have ever been. One of these days, maybe ten years, you might be at a cocktail party listening to your new next door neighbor explain how he just bought his house for 30% more than you did with a 9.5% loan.
I completely understand how you feel. We just bought our first home too and I was regretting it every step of the way from the time it went under contract to the day we closed.
It's normal to feel some trepidation, buying a house is a major commitment.
Once you actually move in though, there is a wonderful sense of accomplishment and security knowing it's all yours.
Did you express these thoughts to hubby before signing the papers or did the issues hit after that time?
Some people do better in the city and some like it more rural. Everyone doesn't have to get out of the city or own to be happy. I hope this is what you really want and that you didn't feel like you "should" want it.
I'm an own house kind of girl because I love flower gardens above all else. Renting doesn't allow me to really have the outdoor space I feel happiest in. Others, it is a chore to do yardwork and a big yard work job wouldn't suit them. It's all good. Everyone loves different things and that makes life interesting.
I'm moving Saturday, a big move for us and even though it is from a rental to our own home I am nervous this time and I don't think it's too abnormal.
enjoy the best of both worlds. do not get caught up in the never ending cycle of futzing with your new home. make it comfortable, put off some projects for the next year and the year after. if you let it any house can be a money pit. don't change your life style too much just your address.
I think the reason you are getting cold feet is because the process is coming to a close. When looking at houses its kind of fun. You go from house to house, no commitment involved and so forth. Then you sign the contract and all the fears starting coming into play. Anytime you make a serious commitment comes worry. Change can be hard but I can honestly say I only know one person that hated being a homeowner. He was a single guy and liked to party. The commitment of owning a home cut into his beer money. Everyone else I know which includes myself, love being homeowners. I have owned 4 homes so far and rented once in between. I found it to be a nightmare. I like my own place and it allows me to have full self expression.
Yes, you will putts around the yard on the weekends, you will start loving Home Depot and Lowe's. You will enjoy having backyard BQ's and inviting friends over and when the burbs start to get dull you will head into the city, have fun and then gleefully retreat back to the quietness of the burbs.
If by some chance you end up hating it all, then you put your house up for sale and move back to rental life. I will be shocked if you do this. Instead in 5-6 years you will look for another home and upgrade. The average first time home buyer lives in their house 5-6 years.
Embrace the change and focus on what you wanted in being a homeowner in the first place. A little piece of this world that is all yours. You looked at homes for 9 months because you know the appeal. The worst part about buying a house is the closing! Its a long enough process where it keeps you up at night and makes you worry about everything! I still hate closing on houses.
Homeownership is a wonderful thing. There are many people that do not even have the option of becoming a homeowner. Once you move in, you will never want to rent again.
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It sounds like you are excited about the opportunity of having a more personalized home, you should focus on that.
Everyone else I know which includes myself, love being homeowners. I have owned 4 homes so far and rented once in between. I found it to be a nightmare. I like my own place and it allows me to have full self expression.
Its a long enough process where it keeps you up at night and makes you worry about everything! I still hate closing on houses. 
