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Old 08-13-2006, 02:12 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 20,961,325 times
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In our case, we are both from different countries. My husband is from the UK and I am from the USA. We've lived near my family in NY, near his family in the UK and apart from everyone in PA.

We're going to move again soon, I hope.

I think it will be hard away from 'family' but you also have to grow up eventually. If you are living somewhere 'just for your family' but your immediate family (wife/husband/kids) are not making it, then you need to move on.

There are airplanes if and when you need to see your relatives.
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Old 08-13-2006, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,010 posts, read 17,803,725 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heathersmom
Okay- QUESTION: Everyone that has moved:
  • [LEFT]Are you moving closer to family? [/LEFT]
  • [LEFT]Are you moving because it is needed and you will deal with the family/distance thing later? [/LEFT]
  • Or are you moving away from family?
Thanks
Well at first we moved because it was needed, we moved from Oregon to NC but we dislike it enough here we are moving again this time to Arizona, a little closer to family.
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Old 08-13-2006, 03:58 PM
 
149 posts, read 977,983 times
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I moved from Washington State to California 3 years ago to get away from the rain and clouds, and to be closer to my dad. Now that my dad has passed away, I feel less of a commitment to stay here. I married a military man last year, and he wants to leave this expensive state when he gets out in Feb. The question is where. I like hot weather and palm trees, he likes trees,grass, and snowy winters.
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Old 08-16-2006, 12:02 AM
 
Location: MI
333 posts, read 1,146,250 times
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Default Hmmm

I was a bit surprised to read some of the comments here about not missing the family

When I say family I guess I mean brothers sisters and mom or dad. I read about such great advantgaes as tax incentives and I can buy 2x the house I used to have but isnt there such a thing as having grandparents around for the kids or seeing your parents a few times a month? I guess maybe that is overrated for many people.

This moving away from family to me is the hardest part to consider when thinking of a cross country move. I just don't think email is the same... again I am not talking cousins aunts uncles that you see on Christmas or Easter or weddings etc, but the immediate family

Now I will say I am single and maybe if I was married with 2.3 kids I would be too busy working/raising kids/driving them to soccer/ballet/after school activities/etc , so I'd rarely get a chance to see the parents... but as a kid I remember going to visit grandparents most every Sunday and I still try to see my parents (who live 30 minutes away) most Sunday afternoons and have some food, watch a football game, and converse with them. They are not perfect people (nor am I) but there is at least a sense of warmth and comfort in being there as opposed to the rat race, materialistic, and fast pace culture you are surrounded by the other 6 days a week - I enjoy it and I am sure I will miss it when I eventually leave. Maybe I just live a boring life and have time for these activities but I think its a pretty solid thing to have in life and as I said to start my comment, I am just surprised by the comments above. And note I am not super close to my family or talk to them on the phone every day, we talk maybe 1-2x a week, a phone call for 2-3 minutes sometimes during the week for a quick message about something, and a 4-5 hour visit on a saturday or sunday. That's enough for me, but to go from that to seeing them on Thanksgiving weekend 1x a year seems like a lot would be lacking. Usually when I leave the house on Sunday to drive back home I feel thankful and try not to take for granted that my parents are still alive and I have the abilty to still see them (I am in mid 30s and many peers are already beginning to lose parents) Hmmm.. maybe I live in a strange world and/or have way too much free time on my hands.
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Old 08-16-2006, 06:05 AM
 
1,320 posts, read 3,434,113 times
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I think what some are saying, that they did not want to face financial ruin just to be close to their familes. I was never able to make it in a career where my parents live. It was never that critical when I was single. But when you are married and have a kids and a family depending on you, you will feel differently. Plus, my parents are retired, and keep bouncing back and forth between 2 states, so I never know where they will be living anyway!
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Old 08-16-2006, 07:12 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 20,961,325 times
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Well, we have lived with my parents (share a house) for 6 years since we moved back from abroad. It's more 'negative' than positive. My folks are nice but not 'doting' grandparents. They keep claiming they are 'too old' for that. They became grandparents first about 19 years ago when they were in their late 40s/early 50s.

I also find my parents very judgemental of us and our choices. They like to point out our 'faults' but do very little to help us. They also spend time telling us about so and so's SUCCESSFUL children with great jobs/houses/lives..

It's not a good environment when you are an adult.

So I will miss them but there's the internet and telephone. In my case, being far away is psychologically better for me. My husband's family lives in England so we hardly see them.

I will miss my sister but I hardly see her as well because she has four kids and is busy with them. Her husband works odd hours and we find it hard to get together.

I do feel sorry for my son because he has very little sense of family but this is life in 2006. I hope it will make him a more independent person.

For some of us, there are no other choices.
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Old 08-16-2006, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Marion, IN
8,190 posts, read 29,803,741 times
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My mother passed several years ago. I have not seen or talked to my father in 25 years. My husband's parents are divorced, one in Micigan and one in Florida. We have no children.

We were about to go under financially living in Florida, so we made the decision to move to where it was more affordable. My husband would happily live in his mother's garage. She does not work, and has made the day trip up to visit us twice since we moved in December. My husband has gone down twice to see her as well. It is only a 9 hour drive, so long weekends can be spent visiting.
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Old 08-16-2006, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,607 posts, read 38,776,069 times
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My whole family is moving! My husband, son and I are moving to San Antonio, my parents and my brother are moving to Adkins and my oldest son will be moving to the San Antonio area (maybe) in about a year or two.
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Old 08-16-2006, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Western NY
338 posts, read 1,376,102 times
Reputation: 239
Exclamation my mother-in-law

My mother-in-law said last night in front of family and friends that "they are taking my baby away from me!!!" her 5 year old grand-daughter--which we will be doing but she made me feel like a total heel
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Old 08-16-2006, 02:36 PM
 
1,320 posts, read 3,434,113 times
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Doesn't sound like too much of a guilt trip!
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