Can anyone offer me advice about moving far from home? (how much, law school)
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I know there are threads like this out there, but I figure I'd make my own because new members have signed up since the last ones were created and maybe they can share their story.
Anyways, I live in Ohio and just graduated college in May. Eventually I'd like to go to law school, but we'll see how that plays out. Regardless, I'm in kind of a dilemma and could use advice, maybe from those who were once in my position.
As of right now, I have a really great job offer in Austin, Texas. As of right now they told me to take my time with figuring out if I want to accept it or not. The problem is I'm extremely close to my family, particularly my mother.
In a way, I wouldn't mind moving somewhere south where the weather is nicer all year long, and somewhere I can start over fresh and meet new people and have more opportunities for my career. On the other hand though, I'm scared half to death. Also, I keep running thoughts through my head about what if something happens to one of my family members and I can't be there or will my family miss out on a lot of things as I get older and vice versa, like me having kids and such. Ugh, I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking of stuff and stressing about it for no reason?
Anyways, sorry this is long, but if anyone could offer me any advice or share their stories if they were in the same predicament, please do so. Tell me anything to give me any insight! Any regrets over moving far? Best decision of your life? ANYTHING!
Moving away will be the best decision you ever made most likely. It's scary but exciting at the same time. I left FL on a whim many years ago after never living anyplace else and the experiences I've had since (good and bad, mostly good) would never have happened had I just stayed put. It takes very little time to hop on a plane to go back to Ohio in case of an emergency or to visit, or for friends/relatives to come visit. You run the risk of sitting in Ohio and becoming bitter at what could of been otherwise. In this economy any strong job offer should be considered and accepted. Good luck!
I moved to San Diego from Ohio shortly after college. I enjoyed living there but ultimately I did not like being that far from my family back in Ohio. I ended up moving to Chicago since I had a job offer there and it's within driving distance to my family. Perhaps you would consider a more regional city to start you career? Ohio is within close distance to a lot of major cities on the east coast or midwest.
Nowadays it's so easy to stay in touch with cell phones and the Internet. I moved from Florida to Texas when I was 19 and the only means I had of communicating with my family was to go use the pay phone down the street or send a written letter. Landlines cost too much back then and you had to put up a huge deposit.
Move. It's a great experience and will help you grow. If it's too painful, you can always move back, but at least you gave it a try. And hey - Austin ain't a bad place to get a job offer right now!
I am from Boston and moved cross country with my fiancee (now my wife) to California. At first I was very excited for the move and when the day came to start the long drive I became very nervous. But during the drive I became excited again. I am very family orientated and have absolutely no family in California (except my in-laws). While I was in California I was working so much and struggled to have any kind of a social life, therefore I missed Boston tremendously. Some unfortunate chain of events forced my wife and I back to Boston after 1 month. I thought that being in Boston would be better because of friends and family but honestly I now miss being in California. Yes I did miss my family but that is only a natural feeling and I thing that getting out on my own was one of the best decisions i could have made. I just wish sometimes that I didn't come back to Boston and weathered the storm out west. Now I'm lookin to make another move out of state.
Today it is hard to find a good career, especially in an area that you are passionate about. My advice would be to accept the job if you desire it and take a chance with a new start in a new place. Good luck with whatever you choose.
I moved from the midwest to the South after graduating high school and it's been good. I do not have strong ties with my family though and am not the type to miss home. I love seeing and experiencing new parts of the country. I can't wait to move again once I graduate college. I have some ideas of where I would like to go next but I would be happy to move anywhere new again. The feeling of independence I get from being far from family is also great. Like others have said, it helps you grow since you can't rely on those who are close for help all the time. Moving away from home was the biggest and best decision of my life so far.
It's much easier to grow up, become independent, and become your own person once you live away from your family.
When we (me, my now-wife, her two kids from a previous marriage) left CA for CO three years ago, my wife was probably the most family-dependent 25-year-old there ever was. She has grown exponentially in that department, and can now think for herself and not need her family for everything.
At age 26, I no longer have any family to live around (my mother is deceased, I never had anything resembling a relationship with my father, I'm estranged from my mother's side of the family, I never had an opportunity to grow close to my father's side, and I haven't spoken to either of my siblings in three years). I'm independent whether I want to be or not.
I would recommend anybody to move away from their family, at least for awhile. It's easier to "find yourself" when you have no standards to conform to.
I moved away from my hometown area in MI in 2007 out of necessity. We moved to Cleveland. It was a rough leap to take for me, and I never realized how much I was attached to my family until then. I had the same thoughts - what happened if something happened? My grandmother was in the hospital for a surgery that the doctors were hesitant to perform, and she was just diagnosed with congestive heart failure. My dad was not doing well, and I felt like the glue holding it all together.
Fast forward .. the first 3 months were HARD. Different life, different area, no friends. But, I started my job and things got a lot better. Because I was so far away, my family actually started taking an active approach to going out of their way to communicate while checking the drama at the door. My communication with my father improved 110% compared to when I lived just down the street from him. Life got easier, I had friends, I got out to explore and overall, I really liked where I lived. We have since moved around more, including back to Bowling Green, OH and then to Charlotte, NC. There have been ups and downs this whole time, including an unexpected death just weeks after moving to NC, but overall.. I am so glad I have made the choices to where I've ended up so far. The learning experience has been exceptional for both me and my family. On a good note, nothing has happened to my Gma (yet) and I do what I can to make sure I keep in touch with her.
What it comes down to... You can stay behind for all the "reasons" based on family and what not, but the fact is you need to get out and live your own life. Don't let your mind convince you that they need to hold you back, because it is a myth. They don't. You need to be yourself, get out into this life and take it all in the best you can. Your family will always be there and support you no matter what, and you can always move back home. You may get to Austin and find out its not your cup of tea - but, at least you gave it a shot. Or, you might get there and just love it! How will you ever know if you don't try? And, if you don't go, will you regret the opportunity missed? The biggest rules to making a cross country move successful: keep an open mind, get out and explore, get out and be social, and don't compare things to back home - they are 2 different worlds. I would have never thought I loved Cleveland .. now, if given the chance, I'll move back to Cleveland before I'll move back to mid-MI just because I really loved the area that much.
Also, keep in mind.. as a recent college grad in the current economy, having a job offer on the table is a God-sent. I can give you a list of college grads that would love to have that offer. Take it for what you will.
I think "Chance2jump" is right, and I will add that in addition to this being a good opportunity for your post-college career (most these days have a lot of student debt to pay off) you are young enough now that you a) don't own property, in all likelihood, and b) you are more adaptable at the age you are. You should give it a try. For others, I think it's a very personalized choice. The closer you are to your family, the more that weighs into the equation. I will say I didn't think I was that close to my family or my wife's family when we first moved, but there are times now when I do miss their company. It will probably be harder for you in this respect though. The important part is you haven't started a family or bought property yet. Your move is to an economically depressed region to an economically prosperous one. It's easy for anyone to come on here and reflexively suggest that you move, but I think in this case, in spite of the closeness to your family, the rational mind has to take over. If, say, you marry, and have children, then the desire for them to be around grandparents will inevitably grow. Hopefully, at that stage of your career, you and/or your spouse will be able to transition back to place of origin, if need be. Most people do it when they are younger, I was an exception. Do it when you are younger, it's easier.
i think you should go for it. don't think that you won't miss your mum- you will. and it will be hard to say goodbye. and after a year maybe you will realize you don't want to be apart from your family. but look at it this way- maybe you can be the pioneer, and your family will want to enjoy the warmth of a new place with you! you can be the one that starts the exodus. i have seen that happen with countless northern families- one person moves, some enterprising young pioneer type, and pretty soon the cousins and the grandparents are following suit. and austin to ohio isn't that much of a drive. i live in california and am from GA, and its still just a four hour plane ride. go for it!
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