Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre
It's all relative in regards to the situation. For example, if I'm at an event like the Pittston Tomato Festival, I'll answer with "Pittston Township," which is my official municipality of residence. If I'm at the Scranton Jazz Festival, which is about 15 minutes away, I'd answer with "Pittston." If I'm at the Bloomsburg Fair, which is about an hour away, I'd answer with "Scranton/Wilkes-Barre." If I'm in New York City, I'd answer with "The Poconos." If I'm in Cincinnati, as I just was, I'd answer with "Northeastern Pennsylvania." If I'm in Los Angeles, I'd reply with "Pennsylvania." If I'm in Bangkok, I'd reply with "The United States." If I'm on Mars, I'd reply with "Earth."
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haha...
when i'm in West Virginia, I reply "I'm in hell," and they (being Virginians) know exactly where i'm at. Somestime I say "Western Virginia" for West Virginia, since those damn Yankees are a part of our state... therer is no West Virginia. But we might not want Yankees, Rednecks, southern wannabes, drunks, slack-jawed yokles, or trailer parks in our untarnished state.
West Virginia State Residency Application
Name: ________________
(last)
(first) (_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box)
Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
CB Handle: _____________________
Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed
(_)Coal Miner
Spouse's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
___ Number of refrigerators on front porch
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__
Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of
pickup: _________
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest
(_)Gun World
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Holidays
(_)Not Applicable
Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)No teeth
(_)N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know
(_)can't get there from here
BUMPER STICKERS:
___ Eat more Possum
___ My other car is a piece of junk too
___ Honk if you love Jesus
___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'
___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco
Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply:
___ Square Dancin'
___ Possum Huntin'
___ Skinny Dippin'
___ Craw Daddin'
___ Gospel Singin'
___ 4-Wheelin'
___ Drankin'
___ Spittin' Backy ___ Bill Chip Trowin'
___ Honky Tonkin'
___ Noodlin'
# of Dogs: ___ Type: ___ Blue Tick ___ Beagle
___ Black & Tan ___ Bird Dawg
Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws
___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech
___ Skoal ___ Coors
___ NAPA ___ Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear