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Old 03-04-2011, 12:41 PM
 
2,106 posts, read 5,769,674 times
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I can honestly say that if I won $100 million in the lottery I would not move, and I live in a very modest house in a modest neighborhood, but it is a little corner in this city that has that a perfect mix of topography, trees, historic architecture and village-like planning that fosters easy and frequent connections to your neighbors and thus new friends.
Not sure about San Diego, but here in San Francisco "modest" homes in charming neighborhoods costs $700,000-1 million bucks. The key is that if you got here say- 15-20 years ago then sure- you are probably doing ok. Now you have to just about be rich and loaded to get that. Thus the reason why the quality of life in Cali has gone down the toilet- especially during the housing boom.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Metro Birmingham, AL
1,672 posts, read 2,862,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I have thought about this concept quite a bit, acutally. I came to the conclusion that location has little to do with happiness. Just a little. I think it's human nature (for some of us) to think that life could be better somewhere else. And once you get to that new place, sure, life will feel refreshing again, but after 6 months, the novelty wears off and before you know it, you'll be looking to relocate yet again. The fact of the matter is that we cannot be everywhere at the same time. It makes more sense to settle in one place for the long term, and simply take vacations to visit other places. Being in one place means not being in another place. And this rule of thumb holds true for no matter where you are.

I have found that the biggest factor in happiness is feeling good about yourself and maintaining healthy relationships with other people, whether you are introverted or extraverted. Be financially responsible for yourself, eat healthy, exercise and just be the best you can be. Location shouldn't matter.

I guarantee you, if you move to a new place, you will find new problems.

I have concluded that the only logical reasons to relocate to a new area include the following:
  1. Cost of living in your current place becomes impossible to keep up with; preventing you from saving enough money.
  2. It becomes impossible to find suitable employment in your current place, therefore requiring you to search for jobs elsewhere.
  3. To be with your significant other, or family members.
  4. To escape increasing crime, poverty and other negative attributes of your current place.
  5. To be closer to your work location.
The reasons above do not invoke a random, feel-good, grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side decision to move. If you move as a result of any of the five factors above, you will likely not be kicking yourself for making a mistake.
Wow what you said makes alot of sense. Alot of my friends left for Atlanta after HS because of the "grass is greener" thinking, most of them eventually moved back to Birmingham. I believe that you have to give a place a chance before writing it off as a place you are unable to be happy in. We all cant live in NYC, LA, DC, Chicago, San Fran or any of the other trendy cities. Personally I try to view things from a person who is happy here (Birmingham), and wonder why they are so happy in a place that I am unhappy at?. What do they see in it that I might be overlooking?.

Last edited by sleepless in Bham; 03-04-2011 at 01:03 PM..
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,082,245 times
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Well, if I had to live in a little box somewhere ridiculously expensive and surround myself with a bunch of tight-assed, snooty NE types who say they have no time for manners or friendliness, then yes...I would be miserable.
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Old 03-04-2011, 01:10 PM
 
Location: South Park, San Diego
6,109 posts, read 10,811,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sliverbox View Post
Not sure about San Diego, but here in San Francisco "modest" homes in charming neighborhoods costs $700,000-1 million bucks. The key is that if you got here say- 15-20 years ago then sure- you are probably doing ok. Now you have to just about be rich and loaded to get that. Thus the reason why the quality of life in Cali has gone down the toilet- especially during the housing boom.
You have nailed it, my little home is right in that price point now, and we bought 13 years ago when it was well under $200k so this "perfect place" would be totally unattainable to us now. That 20% of awesome and sweet California is mostly not available to middle class folks so, while the quality of life may not be completely in the toilet, the chances of you being on the sun deck instead taking in the view is fleeting at best.

That's why I try to keep an open mind about where I might yet be happy if we were forced to move.
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Old 03-04-2011, 01:24 PM
 
2,106 posts, read 5,769,674 times
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Quote:
You have nailed it, my little home is right in that price point now, and we bought 13 years ago when it was well under $200k so this "perfect place" would be totally unattainable to us now. That 20% of awesome and sweet California is mostly not available to middle class folks so, while the quality of life may not be completely in the toilet, the chances of you being on the sun deck instead taking in the view is fleeting at best.

That's why I try to keep an open mind about where I might yet be happy if we were forced to move.
Something I've noticed in California metros is that there is a seemingly non-stop procession of extreme booms and busts in real estate. I moved here around 12 years ago at the height of the dot-com. There was definitely a boom then and even rent was really expensive. I was just out of college so I wasn't in any position to buy. The dot-com bust only temporarily toppled housing. Even in this latest bust just about any houses in halfway decent places are really expensive- which is frustrating. We make a six figure income and yet buying some small house would use up way too much of our incomes.

Frustrating because in the community we rent in we're surrounded by school teachers, people that work in the shipping biz, and other middle class folks. All of them bought in the 70's and early 80's. None of them would have a chance today. The only people buying here now are lawyers, corporate executives, and other high rollers.

What's more it seems that with each passing boom and bust, another chunk of the demographic gets cut out of the picture. The working class got cut out during the boom of the late 80's. The middle class during the dot-com boom. I'd say that as of now, this latest boom and bust cycle has started to affect upper middle class wage earners like us. Thus there's hardly any wiggle room unless you "got in" or you're loaded. Older folks around us sort of mentioned what it "Used to be like"- in other words back when the area was "normal" and not totally yuppifed and expensive.

It was the same on the East Coast. The exact same limited socioeconomic opportunities- even if you did well by national standards. Thus the reason people are now flocking in such large numbers ( ironically) to my home region.

Wish I had been born maybe 10-15 years earlier. Perhaps it would be different and we too could own some cute little house in a cute small California suburb of a major metro.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:26 PM
 
165 posts, read 527,646 times
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SERAPH, if your career field allows, maybe you should move to a more vibrant town with a university, cosmopolitan or bohemian population that's in the same State as your relatives, but more progressive and interesting than your current town. That way you could still be close enough to visit your relatives sometimes, but be more satisfied. Just a thought. I don't know your whole story.
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:08 PM
 
Location: NYC/Orlando
2,124 posts, read 4,483,479 times
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I've found that for me there's a direct correlation between where I live and my happiness.. along with loads of other factors. When I'm in New York I'm significantly less happy than in Orlando. Orlando has everything I love, including my friends and family. NYC is an amazing city with a lot of opportunity, but it's difficult to live here without money (as I do, because I'm in college). The old saying is "Wherever you go, there you are", but I think if you go to a place that suits you best, you'll probably be happier.
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Old 03-07-2011, 03:46 AM
 
Location: Clovis Strong, NM
3,376 posts, read 6,075,539 times
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Don't know about everyone else, but anytime I venture through the mountain/desert states, I feel as though I never left home.
But anytime I go near a coast-line or a rather flat, green area, I get a slight feeling of dread running about.
Kind of weird to others as it seems the coasts make everyone else feel good for whatever reason.
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Old 03-08-2011, 12:35 AM
 
24 posts, read 51,114 times
Reputation: 27
I think if you're getting an itch to move somewhere else, it would make sense to look into it. I, personally, would prefer to live close to friends, instead of family, also. However, we are currently in a town which we cannot stand because the culture is so different than where we grew up. it's not friendly, people are very seemingly attacking here (or we just perceive them as such possibly based on different cultural experience) and we are miserable.
When you try everything you can in a place and you want to move on.. I would check out your alternatives and probably move on!!
Best of luck!
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:11 PM
 
221 posts, read 1,190,919 times
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I'm surprised more people aren't saying how closely the environment in which they live really VERY MUCH affects their happiness.

In most of the forums I read there is constant discussion between rural and urban people, each insisting that their living environment choice is completely best and the other choice is terrible. And it is, for them.

For me, having lived in huge cities, small cities, small towns and rural areas, I can say that living in a place surrounded by asphalt and buildings with too many people and too much noise makes me MISERABLE, no matter how great other aspects of life are. Living in a place with a lot of green and very few people and minimal noise makes me HAPPY.

I know many people love the desert, but when I lived in a small desert town I was very very depressed, even though I loved my job and was in love. I have been MUCH happier in green places even when my social life was pretty dull.

I've lived in very humid areas, and was miserable much of the year. I am much happier in a dryer climate.

Extreme or even moderate heat makes me homicidal. Extreme cold weather is invigorating and makes me thrilled to be alive.

I know many people love living on the shores of oceans or lakes and need that in their lives. I couldn't care less about water.

Would I be happy in living in a hot humid city on the water (I just described Houston!) if the love of my life lived there? I doubt it!

Would I be happy living in a rural green cold environment if I didn't have any friends? Probably not, although since all of us gravitate towards people who share our personal views and choices I can't imagine living in an area like this and NOT having friends.

Maybe everyone isn't as influenced by their environment as I am?
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