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Being a good wife and mother is a woman's most important job, and it's an admirable one at that.
The work of being a good mother is not easy, especially when the children are young. However, this job is important for proper nurturing of the children in their formative years. Without the proper nurturing, children have all types of developmental issues, much the same way that children have developmental issues without a father in the home, particularly when they get a little older.
More people in this country need to put aside the selfish aspirations and focus on their spouse and children. If they did so, many of the social and economic problems would be eradicated. That's not to say that you don't provide, as a good father should, but it's to say that you make sure that your priorities are in order.
I agree 100% that mothers should focus first on being mothers, and I certainly don't see anything wrong with women whose main goal is being the best mother and wife she can be. If you have a child, your main focus should be raising that child, whether you're a man or a woman. My point was only that I never met any women there whose goal was anything other than being a wife and mother, before they were married or even in a position to have children, and that those women were never exactly self-sufficient. I never knew one who ever fully supported herself; they would go from being fully supported by their parents to being fully supported by their husbands. The more independent ones would be only partially supported by parents or a boyfriend before marriage.
So having parents be primarily responsible for raising their own children is "outdated"?
What's outdated is the idea that a parent is NOT "primarily responsible" for raising his or her children because he or she has a job. The notion that a working parent doesn't "raise" his or her kids is actually pretty offensive and not borne out by data.
Also, I appreciate that you were careful to use the word "parents." But the previous poster said very clearly that a good father is a good provider and the most important job for a woman is to stay home with her children. If you don't see anything outdated or offensive about that, you must be living in a bubble. Nor is it the social or economic reality for two out of three children in this country.
I agree 100% that mothers should focus first on being mothers, and I certainly don't see anything wrong with women whose main goal is being the best mother and wife she can be. If you have a child, your main focus should be raising that child, whether you're a man or a woman. My point was only that I never met any women there whose goal was anything other than being a wife and mother, before they were married or even in a position to have children, and that those women were never exactly self-sufficient. I never knew one who ever fully supported herself; they would go from being fully supported by their parents to being fully supported by their husbands. The more independent ones would be only partially supported by parents or a boyfriend before marriage.
That's the point that Sound of Reason made, which you missed. In most cases, it is too hard and too demanding to be a full-time mother and a full-time financial provider simultaneously.
There are many who do this, but it is out of necessity. It certainly is not the ideal situation nor the adequate stable environment that children need to develop properly.
What's outdated is the idea that a parent is NOT "primarily responsible" for raising his or her children because he or she has a job. The notion that a working parent doesn't "raise" his or her kids is actually pretty offensive and not borne out by data.
He never implied that and the only way I can see someone being offended by what was said is if they were looking to be offended. He clearly said that for a woman with children, her most IMPORTANT job is child-rearing. To infer that a working mother is a bad mother is to read something into his statement that wasn't there at all.
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Also, I appreciate that you were careful to use the word "parents." But the previous poster said very clearly that a good father is a good provider and the most important job for a woman is to stay home with her children. If you don't see anything outdated or offensive about that, you must be living in a bubble. Nor is it the social or economic reality for two out of three children in this country.
Again, he said "Being a good wife and mother is a woman's most important job." I don't see the word "home" in that statement at all. You're reading entirely too much into this. The fact of the matter is that many mothers have sought a very healthy home-work balance, being both productive workers and fantastic mothers.
That's the point that Sound of Reason made, which you missed. In most cases, it is too hard and too demanding to be a full-time mother and a full-time financial provider simultaneously.
There are many who do this, but it is out of necessity. It certainly is not the ideal situation nor the adequate stable environment that children need to develop properly.
I didn't miss Sound's point. What I'm talking about are single women who aren't married, have no children, work full time, and still don't fully support themselves. Those are the ones I've known whose only goal appeared to be getting married and having children, all the while either living with their parents or at least being partially supported by their parents or boyfriends. Then they get married and continue not having to support themselves.
I didn't miss Sound's point. What I'm talking about are single women who aren't married, have no children, work full time, and still don't fully support themselves. Those are the ones I've known whose only goal appeared to be getting married and having children, all the while either living with their parents or at least being partially supported by their parents or boyfriends. Then they get married and continue not having to support themselves.
Why do you care? Why does this offend you? Get over yourself!
I don't recall saying I was offended, it's just an observation. Why are you offended over a simple observation?
Because you will NOT let it go. YOU keep bringing the subject back up. And to say you NEVER met a woman who thought otherwise is not just highly improbable, it's an out-and-out deception. I've lived my entire life in the south and know HUNDREDS of women who are not what you describe.
Because you will NOT let it go. YOU keep bringing the subject back up. And to say you NEVER met a woman who thought otherwise is not just highly improbable, it's an out-and-out deception. I've lived my entire life in the south and know HUNDREDS of women who are not what you describe.
Your bias is obvious.
I mentioned it ONCE in this thread, months ago, after someone else brought it up first. I didn't even say it was necessarily a bad thing, just that it was different from my own personal aspirations. Feel free to reread my initial post again; it's pretty clear. Then someone resurrected the thread and my comment was attacked several times, and I've been trying to explain what I meant ever since (even though I thought it was obvious). I'm not the one who keeps bringing it back up, I've just had to repeatedly defend my comments. If you'll reread my posts, I even mentioned more than once that I didn't even necessarily think it was a bad thing, just that it was something I'd noticed over the years. I'm fully aware that in 32 years I may have known at least woman who aspired to be something other than a wife and mother, but if that was the case those women never made that fact known, while certainly giving the impression of the opposite. I've simply stated what I observed, yet so many people are getting their undies twisted over something that, according to several other posters in this thread, SHOULD BE A GOOD THING. What I really think is happening is several of you absolutely cannot stand the thought that I might actually be telling the truth about what I've experienced (whether you experienced similar or not), even if it's something you don't necessarily feel is bad. You see it as something that other people might view as bad, and because of that you don't want it to ever be mentioned. Not only can you not tolerate any negative comments toward the south, but you can't even tolerate comments that you think OTHER people might see as negative, even if you don't think of them negatively. What would you prefer I say? That all women in the southeast are strong, independent women who are perfect wives and mothers while simultaneously being career-driven, educated, and highly successful in their careers? If that had been my experience I would have gladly said as much.
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Why are you offended over a simple observation?
