Regret moving away? Regret not moving away? (living, prices)

[bawac34618]

Moved away after college (in 2009) and it was the best decision I ever made. Moved back home to Oklahoma in 2012 and it was the absolute worst decision I ever made.

[SunGrins]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

But what I would say is that the value of a true home, rooted in family for generations, with solid stable people, well that cannot be duplicated. It is of great value. .

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

I think people overvalue "new experiences" and "travel" and stuff like that, while very much undervaluing friends, family, etc.

i don't diminish the value of family or friends but, today, people can stay connected with friends and family as much as they want even though they might be separated by thousands of miles. Perhaps time zones can be a challenge but not insurmountable. I moved 1000 miles and still have contact with old friends and some of those have been close for forty years. When I moved away, the most common comment was how brave I was to move someplace without friends or family. We can make new friends wherever we go if we try.

I now live in a place with two extremes: many transplants and retirees on one hand and long time, multi- generational extended families that have been here since the 1700s. The close knit family connections are refreshing and usually very stable. Transplants have close and stable friendships and family connections but there is a difference. I've seen local people pass up promotions or better opportunities because it meant leaving the extended family. I like the family focus but it can be stifling.

I've noticed that highways, telephones, email, internet, and facebook work both ways but once there is some distance involved it seems that they often only work for the transplant to initiate the communication. Even traveling 15 or 20 miles across town or to the next county seems like a trip to Jupiter for some family members.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

But what I would say is that the value of a true home, rooted in family for generations, with solid stable people, well that cannot be duplicated. It is of great value. I am not convinced that one learns much of anything of the larger world by living in variously increasingly homogenous major coastal cities.

Moving away often is NOT to major coastal cities, or even to major cities. The whole idea is to get at least some taste of life away from the home turf, to live where you are a stranger and cannot depend on others to smooth the way for you, to see that what is standard for your home area might be weird in other places.

To not get too complacent based on never having experienced life elsewhere.

[sub]

I've moved around a bit and never regretted moving away from any place. Well, that last one was sorta dumb, but I think the end result might end up all right.
Once or twice I regretted staying too long.

[MN_Ski]

I only lived in Minnesota/Minneapolis for 10 months. I had a pretty easy and cushy job at 3M. My income was not as high as it would have been on the coasts, but for being 25, I was living VERY well considering the low COL. I also had the largest and closest circle of friends I could ask for.

I left for Denver, where I currently stay. I wouldn't say that I regret leaving. I am still very happy here in Denver, and am doing everything I have always wanted to do in life. There is a part of me though that wonders how life would have been if I stayed. Minneapolis felt like home, despite my short time there. I was content, happy, never bored, and just felt high energy and good. I have to work a little harder in Denver, my lifestyle has gone more introverted, and I am always away from my home to travel and spend time in the mountains. It's great, but not "comfortable"...if that makes sense.

I'm sure a lot of this is just me thinking the grass is Greener on the other side. I know Minneapolis isn't going anywhere, but I will never get that job back. I really just wish I could have lived out both situations

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by pikabike

Moving away often is NOT to major coastal cities, or even to major cities. The whole idea is to get at least some taste of life away from the home turf, to live where you are a stranger and cannot depend on others to smooth the way for you, to see that what is standard for your home area might be weird in other places.

To not get too complacent based on never having experienced life elsewhere.

Right I am not unsympathetic to that, I would recommend kids to take a gap year between hs and college, to study abroad, do service trips etc. But I really strongly feel that people just as default view not trying to be cosmopolitan as "Settling" or being "complacent" ipso facto. This is not the case. I did not value a lot of the greatness of my family, friends, home, community etc a decade ago. I wanted to LARP around the country and world. I now see how foolish that was.

[Serious Conversation]

I moved from TN to IA in 2012. Didn't like Iowa. I should have stayed until I could leave in a more orderly fashion, but I don't really regret the move. I got to experience a lot of cool things that I wouldn't have been able to do buying staying locally.

I moved to Indianapolis for three years and also spent a lot of time in metro Boston. That really turned my career around, and don't regret it at all.

I don't hate being back in Tennessee, but aside about four years I've lived here all of my life. It's a small area without a lot going on. I'm just burnt out on a lot of things here.

[Bert_from_back_East]

Typically, people from large, clannish families experience great difficulty adjusting to life away from home, assuming most of their immediate and extended relatives reside in the same general area, because they will frequently miss family gatherings and special events such as weddings, funerals, christenings, graduations, etc. due to travel constraints. As someone who grew up around large, clannish Irish-American and Portuguese-American families in southeastern New England, I observed this phenomenon quite often.

[TheTimidBlueBars]

I will concur with the majority opinion on this thread and say that if you have the slightest curiosity in other places, you should try moving. You can always move back if you need to rely on your family for certain things, and if you never go you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

And I suggest going far, like to one of the coasts, not just to Indy or Louisville or Pittsburgh.

[BigCityDreamer]

Just about every place that is very appealing to move to has a high cost of living.

So, you’re always back to square one.