Regret moving away? Regret not moving away?

[Gaylord_Focker]

Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer

Just about every place that is very appealing to move to has a high cost of living.

So, you’re always back to square one.

Maybe the coolness factor drives the prices up? Like, Pittsburgh is cheap, what's wrong with Pittsburgh? it's dense and walkable.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by TheTimidBlueBars

I will concur with the majority opinion on this thread and say that if you have the slightest curiosity in other places, you should try moving. You can always move back if you need to rely on your family for certain things, and if you never go you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

The default "correct" answer is that you should always move if you think you want to. It's never to stay and continue your community. Why not? Why wouldn't people equally regret forsaking their home? You'll always wonder what it's like to live somewhere where you actually belong. The "cosmopolitan" thing just assures greater anonymity and atomization, which may make it easier to be individually autonomous, but at the cost of missing a large part of being a human being (deep connections with people and places). The easy answer is always to leave and keep moving if you don't like it. But wherever you go, well, there you are!

Also, many people don't want to "rely" on their family for "certain things." They actually appreciate their family and want to have relationships with their family members, regardless of utility.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

Right I am not unsympathetic to that, I would recommend kids to take a gap year between hs and college, to study abroad, do service trips etc. But I really strongly feel that people just as default view not trying to be cosmopolitan as "Settling" or being "complacent" ipso facto. This is not the case. I did not value a lot of the greatness of my family, friends, home, community etc a decade ago. I wanted to LARP around the country and world. I now see how foolish that was.

You state it as though there are only two extreme choices, never going away for more than a year at a young age, or always moving around. There is a range of mobilities.

Also, what was foolish for you could be enormously life-changing in a positive way for other people. It certainly was for me, and I lived in only a few areas—all different from each other. One of them fit well, and it isn’t the one my parents chose.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by pikabike

You state it as though there are only two extreme choices, never going away for more than a year at a young age, or always moving around. There is a range of mobilities.

Also, what was foolish for you could be enormously life-changing in a positive way for other people. It certainly was for me, and I lived in only a few areas—all different from each other. One of them fit well, and it isn’t the one my parents chose.

No, I'm not stating that, I'm responding to the notion expressed on here that you should always move if you think you want to- that is the extreme. There is nothing wrong with showing the other side.

The defensiveness to the idea that not moving might sometimes be a great thing is very revealing and proves my point.

[Serious Conversation]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

The default "correct" answer is that you should always move if you think you want to. It's never to stay and continue your community. Why not? Why wouldn't people equally regret forsaking their home? You'll always wonder what it's like to live somewhere where you actually belong. The "cosmopolitan" thing just assures greater anonymity and atomization, which may make it easier to be individually autonomous, but at the cost of missing a large part of being a human being (deep connections with people and places). The easy answer is always to leave and keep moving if you don't like it. But wherever you go, well, there you are!

Also, many people don't want to "rely" on their family for "certain things." They actually appreciate their family and want to have relationships with their family members, regardless of utility.

I want to move. With that said, my life here is not absolutely horrible. I've made major life decisions, largely related to jobs, where I jumped from the frying pan to a fire. There is something to be said about protecting what you do have until you're very confident that the next step is a better one.