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I'm 27 years old, gay, single and sick and tired of living in the Hartford, CT area. My career is going pretty well here and I work for a great company, with great pay, great hours, etc. I lived in NYC for 1.5 yrs when I was 22-23 years old, right after college and had a positive experience overall. But I left because it became impractical to keep living there, and of course, expensive. But now I'm kind of in the mood to move back to a larger metro area.
I'll tell you what I would like, and perhaps some of you can make some suggestions from experience.
First, I would like the area to be friendly toward gays, but it doesn't necessarily have to be liberal. I don't care so much about being in a liberal vs. conservative environment, as long as it's accepting of gays. I'm moderate when it comes to politics, anyway.
Second, I can't stand public transportation. I mean, I"ll use it if I have to, but I prefer driving a car, generally speaking. My car is only 3 yrs old and fully paid off, too. I just don't want to have to walk everywhere in the freezing cold. I've done that in NYC and it was god awful. Never again. I'm rather flexible when it comes to climate, season and weather, but generally don't prefer cold.
I don't mind high cost of living, as long as the salaries are commensurate with that. I have a master's in accounting and nearly 5 yrs of experience and will probably earn in the $60-80K range, depending on the city/area.
Now, the really important thing is culture, to me, and fitting in. I am not a superficial type at all; nor am I artsy. I am rather vanilla and conservative in style, appearance and the way I live my life. I don't care much about nightlife, partying or anthing like that, though once in a while is cool. I lived in Connecticut for the vast majority of my life, so I am New England suburban cultured. I feel like no matter where else I go in this country, it will be somewhat of a culture shock. I hate country music, am not religious at all, and not into sports, beer or BBQ. Can't stand any of that stuff. I am more into reading, keeping up with the news, staying healthy and focused on my career. And meeting other men, of course.
One city that came to mind is Boston, but whenever I visit there it feels like culture shock, even though it's only 2 hrs away. Seems like it's a very extreme New England culture, and sports and the Red Sox are super important, which I don't care about at all. It also seems like there is a lack of Italian people in Boston....and I'm 100% Sicilian! I have typically felt more at comfort with NYC, for this reason.
Another city I thought of that meets my criteria is Atlanta, but the suburban sprawl there is OUT OF CONTROL and comes with major traffic problems. Plus, I have spend a week here and there in Atlanta for work, and even that city feels somewhat southern compared to CT. Sigh.
I've also considered Raleigh, NC. But I worry that it might be no better than Hartford, CT, which is actually a larger metro area, and has more gay men, too.
So, the most important criteria are (a) minimal culture shock, (b) large gay population, (c) suburban lifestyle.
What would you suggest? Am I missing a place that might be better than what I thought of?
Charlotte might work for you, it has much more of a big city feel than Raleigh, but doesn't sprawl nearly as much as Atlanta. Most people here are from the Northeast or out west so that should make it a little less of a culture shock. It has a great location too, you're in close proximity to the mountains if you like skiing and mountain biking and that sort of thing, and its about a 2 1/2 hour drive to the beach. I moved here from Los Angeles, and it would probably work out for you there too. Both cities are very car-centric so you wouldn't have to worry about walking in either.
Charlotte might work for you, it has much more of a big city feel than Raleigh, but doesn't sprawl nearly as much as Atlanta. Most people here are from the Northeast or out west so that should make it a little less of a culture shock. It has a great location too, you're in close proximity to the mountains if you like skiing and mountain biking and that sort of thing, and its about a 2 1/2 hour drive to the beach. I moved here from Los Angeles, and it would probably work out for you there too. Both cities are very car-centric so you wouldn't have to worry about walking in either.
Hmm. See, I've heard negative things about Charlotte.
Denver might be a good fit. New Orleans might be a sleeper. Same with Kansas City. Both actually have Sicilian communities that many don't know much about and both seem to be relatively moderate metros and car friendly.
As a gay male myself I get where you're coming from as I too have similar criteria for places I would want to live in. In order to minimize the culture shock you might look at some more medium-sized cities. Off the top of my head I would recommend looking at Durham/Chapel Hill, which is the western segment of the Triangle area versus Raleigh to the east. Durham is the home of Duke University and Chapel Hill the home of the University of North Carolina. Having lived there for several years I can tell you it has a sizable gay population that is culturally/academically oriented and less concerned with bars or nightlife though it is available should you desire it. It has a safe, suburban feel to it without massive traffic and other urban drawbacks. Durham has some great in-town neighborhoods with high-density gay populations. Check out Trinity Park, Old North Durham, Ninth Street/Watts Hospital and Duke Park. Chapel Hill and neighboring Carrboro, just south of Durham are great towns as well with a high density gay population. Chapel Hill currently has an out-gay Mayor and Carrboro had an out-gay Mayor for many recent years (re-elected three times). I would point you more toward Durham as I think it could really be "your place". Hope you check it out and good luck!
Midtown Atlanta. Metro Atlanta's sprawl should have zero effect on your lifestyle if you choose to live in that area.
People act as if just because Metro Atlanta is a hundred miles across that you have to drive from one end to the other each day. You do not. I work in downtown Atlanta and have a 20-minute commute on a BAD day. That's the longest of any of my standard trips (gym, groceries, shopping, etc.)
I've only been there once, but I keep hearing good things about Denver. My aunt and her family live around there and would probably die before they move. Can't speak for many specifics, but I know they take their exercise pretty seriously. Lot's of outdoorsy stuff like hiking and biking and mountain climbing. Definitely also got a more suburban feeling driving around the city, very clean and not crowded like other, bigger cities. You may also want to check out Minneapolis (although their winters are pretty rough), I got a similar vibe when I was there.
As a gay male myself I get where you're coming from as I too have similar criteria for places I would want to live in. In order to minimize the culture shock you might look at some more medium-sized cities. Off the top of my head I would recommend looking at Durham/Chapel Hill, which is the western segment of the Triangle area versus Raleigh to the east. Durham is the home of Duke University and Chapel Hill the home of the University of North Carolina. Having lived there for several years I can tell you it has a sizable gay population that is culturally/academically oriented and less concerned with bars or nightlife though it is available should you desire it. It has a safe, suburban feel to it without massive traffic and other urban drawbacks. Durham has some great in-town neighborhoods with high-density gay populations. Check out Trinity Park, Old North Durham, Ninth Street/Watts Hospital and Duke Park. Chapel Hill and neighboring Carrboro, just south of Durham are great towns as well with a high density gay population. Chapel Hill currently has an out-gay Mayor and Carrboro had an out-gay Mayor for many recent years (re-elected three times). I would point you more toward Durham as I think it could really be "your place". Hope you check it out and good luck!
I have been around the Raleigh-Durham area and thought it was very nice indeed. Very clean; not too big, not too small. And from what I hear, the culture shock would not be too much. But the question is.....would it be better than living in the Hartford, CT area, which is even more progressive and more populated?
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