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Please dont get into Confederate vs. Yankee here . I am really curious if anyone has an actual example of chivalry, or courtesy they have experienced while living in the south....(vacation doesnt really count, we all know the hotel concierge makes the guest feel welcome)
For those who are from or have family in the south, please if you can give an example? its greatly appreciated...
Do you mean like when I moved to my new town and got lost in the courthouse looking for the county clerks office, and a nice man noticed and came to my rescue. He walked me down the stairs, across the building, up the stairs on the other side, and opened the door to the office for me. The family that sat in the parking lot with me until my ride came because my car broke down? That kind of thing?
I haven't lived anywhere in the south and I'm not even American, but I have experienced true southern hospitality and niceness from people who will strike up a conversation with a random stranger and exercise manners and respect in their daily lives. Some of the nicest people I've met in this country have been from one of the southern states.
Yes, it exists.
I was born and raised in Tennessee, and it is where I live now. For a while I worked in NYC, and store clerks always looked at me funny when I greeted them as I entered and when I would say, "Thank you!" as I left, whether or not I bought something.
That is the first thing that came to mind. You acknowledge people here, whether or not you know them.
And FWIW, "bless your heart" is NOT always used to mock someone.
i will go to memphis in the morning. good manners make u welcome everywhere u go.
but u wont see good manners much these days in young people or in uneducated people even in the south.
what is good manners? that is a hard one. its not being puffed up, its being considerate of others. its u first instead of me first. its making sure others have what they need.
its not about how important i am, its about making others feel important.
its about not pointing out the flaws in others.
its about making them feel welcome.
its about seeing and acknowledging the good qualities of others.
good manners is not having a false and inflated sense of your own worth and abilities.
Being polite in public, and considerate of others, north or south is a sign of good manners. Im not sure but perhaps I should have made this more about "respect your elders".
i will go to memphis in the morning. good manners make u welcome everywhere u go.
but u wont see good manners much these days in young people or in uneducated people even in the south.
what is good manners? that is a hard one. its not being puffed up, its being considerate of others. its u first instead of me first. its making sure others have what they need.
its not about how important i am, its about making others feel important.
its about not pointing out the flaws in others.
its about making them feel welcome.
its about seeing and acknowledging the good qualities of others.
good manners is not having a false and inflated sense of your own worth and abilities.
In my part of the south people aren't as polite. People don't acknowledge you're existence. They won't hold doors, they don't greet you when you walk past them on the sidewalk. Some do, but its rare.
Here's what we do and what we're teaching our children:
Say yes/no Ma'am and Sir to your elders.
Ask "ma'am?" or "sir?" if you don't hear or understand something instead of saying "what" or "huh"
Hold the door for people.
Hold the elevator for people.
Give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant women or anyone else who appears to need it.
Take homemade bread/brownies/etc. to a new neighbor with a card with our names & phone numbers
Take dinner to someone who just had a baby or lost a relative
Offer to return someone's grocery cart if they are done with it and we're walking by.
Thank anyone who does something for you, waiters, cashiers, etc.
If an adult drops something, esp. an elderly or pregnant person, I send my kids to pick it up so the person won't have to bend down.
Etc.
Generally, it's just about being aware of the people around you and doing little things to help them. You don't have to be Southern to do those things. I think the only thing on my list that is truly Southern is the ma'am and sirs.
living in the south now for several years...one of the most helpful people i can remember lately was someone (a NE local) that helped us out in a train station in NYC. there are good people and good manners everywhere. to me, the south really hasn't stood out compared to other places in that regard. except for the "sir"/"ma'am" thing which sometimes seems more reflexive than actually polite.
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. I am really curious if anyone has an actual example of chivalry, or courtesy they have experienced while living in the south....(vacation doesnt really count, we all know the hotel concierge makes the guest feel welcome)
