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I was unable, via search engine, to find the exact scenario I am facing, so here is my situation:
4 kids, 1 wife. all young kids, under 8. 2 girls, 2 boys. Currently live in central NJ. Swamped with 90k student debt. no credit card debt, no auto debt. just student loans persist. when we sell our home we will walk with 17k equity. hence, not much to swing. however, ive cashed much of my 401k, therefore, we can put down 20% up to 600k, no more, for a home.
so we want to move elsewhere, for a multitude of reasons. the benefit: i can transfer within my company to a few locations, but the ones we have narrowed our choices down to, are:
san jose, ca
dallas, tx
rtp, nc
there are + and - in all cases.
First, reasons prompting the move: In general:
Eldest daughter has extreme, severe allergies (dust mites, tree species endemic to NJ), etc. saw an asthma specialist, but to little avail. asked about going to more temperate climates, etc., but the dr said an allergic person is an allergic person. not sure i agree with this.
second, we do not like the cold, at all. abhor it, in fact.
third, we are almost 40 y old, have little to no savings, had a live-in nanny thta helped out for over 8 years, but we are tired of having little to nothing. the main detriment in our case was we purchased a house that was costly--and this hurt us, bad. but then again, virtually everything in NJ is costly.
Now, just an FYI, i am in IT field. wife is in health care. we both work, but wife works part time. here in lies the twist: the nanny will no longer continue on her current assignment, so, wherever we go, my wife will work minimially, if at all. our family is in NJ, but they are of minimal assistance.
the locations we are looking at:
san jose appeals strongly for 2 major reasons: IT jobs + weather (daughter has severe asthma). If I were to get laid off, fired, etc., I would think I could find something relatively quick. the negative of course, of which there are many, the housing costs, cost of living, traffic, etc. I dont think we can do it based on my income alone, however. the weather is such an attraction though--esp if it were to "cure" my daughter's asthma, which, incidentally, resulted in her being sent home a few times, from school.
rtp appeals strongly for I think the same reasons. the detraction, from what I understand, is its Southern culture. I've read on so many forums that the pace is sooooo slow, which is cool, i guess, but just not sure about it. no offense meant, at all. i just dont know, thats all. also, i looked at cary homes, and they are not exactly cheap, by any standard. looks like we would be almost facing Nj prices--400k and upwards.
dallas appeals strongly for the same reasons, however, I think---i cannot tell. i mean, the housing costs are good, the col is good, i think the job market is potentially strong for IT, not sure. but the COL and the weather (warm/hot--prob good for asthma) are very attractive features. there are deterrences as well---the main deterrent is a potentially weak It market in contrast to rtp/sj.
one more thing: we are a mixed couple (white / asian) so we want to ensure wherever we go, we minimize risk to the children and ourselves.
any advice anyone can give really is most appreciated, and i will thank each of you in advance. if you need more information, please let me know.
I like the way you ranked the locations, justme02. Looks like San Jose *might* be the choice. The only issue is the COL. 4 kids, 1 wife. Wife is an eye dr, but will not work due to all of the kids ages and stuff. i posted in the SJ forum, and they quickly brought me to reality in respect to the insane prices out there....
The RTP area is not terribly southern or slow any more. We have hot humid summers but they're much better than the horrendous heat in Dallas. We also have a nasty spring pollen season that is rough on allergy sufferers, but it's not the worst in the country. It's also not so dry and dusty like Dallas can be in the summer. Don't like the heat in summer here...just drive a few hours to the mountains or beach...try that in Dallas!!!
San Jose is obviously the sweet spot of the three but it will cost you almost 2x as much to live there as it does in the Triangle. I have passed on opportunities in California b/c the cost simply isn't worth it for us.
Cary and Chapel Hill are the two most expensive parts of the Triangle region...$400k will buy you a nice 2,500+ sq. ft. home in most areas here. Plenty of diversity in the region now and it has as many or more transplants as it does southerners. Culturally, the RTP area is probably the least southern region in the entire southern US.
All three are good metros. Like has been stated I would not worry about being a mixed couple at all.
I live in the Bay Area and it is outrageously expensive. A friend moved from Tucson because he developed an OS and wanted to be in Silicon Valley where there is more work and more investors. He received several very good job offers. His family wants the pace of Tucson back and he feels the cost is not worth it. Not sure what will happen to his OS.
One positive about RTP is that it is somewhat closer to family in NJ. It could be a family road trip rather than flying back to see family. I have friends that live in central NJ and drive down annually to TN where we grew up and it is manageable.
I think Dallas offers the most value overall. Not sure what kind of IT work you do, but there is decent work in IT available in Dallas and many large companies that would need IT support. COL is great and there are many excellent school districts. If you need to get back DFW is a hub and it is pretty easy to get anywhere. I think it would offer a great quality of life and you would be able to get ahead.
I would place SJ last just due to cost. 600k will unfortunately not buy much there. If money were not an issue, then I would suggest SJ. However, your QOL would likely be better in Dallas or RTP.
Prob world's most efficient region for both corporate back-offices and for non-tech entrepreneurs
Outstanding middle-income suburban QOL and COL vs anywhere on planet
SV makes most sense for a hungry, ambitious, young, single engineer or professional (those who can easily afford new, upscale 1BR apts in SF and will build their house in upscale SV suburbs if/when choose to have wife/kids after earning serious money) but makes little sense for many others
Not sure what is relevance of places like NC or Atl, etc w/little in way of major corp HQs, almost no notable tech wealth creation, w/stiff state inc taxes, dubious public schools, not particularly cheap new housing in desirable suburbs, crappy weather/fresh produce, and lack of proximity to CA (for business or pleasure travel needs)
Now, personally, my vote is for California. That's a nice area you're considering, and a dramatic change from NJ. North Carolina also has a lot of very nice parts.
Not sure what is relevance of places like NC or Atl, etc w/little in way of major corp HQs, almost no notable tech wealth creation, w/stiff state inc taxes, dubious public schools, not particularly cheap new housing in desirable suburbs, crappy weather/fresh produce, and lack of proximity to CA (for business or pleasure travel needs)
On what basis are these claims about NC made??? See below for the truth from someone who has lived most of his life in the RTP area:
Tech/Corp offices: The RTP area is home to SAS and Red Hat and a major employee site for other tech companies like NetApp, Cisco, IBM & Lenovo. There are also a lot of tech startups popping up in "business incubators" in Durham and elsewhere in the region.
Dubious public schools: I will not argue that overall NC's public schools do not rank well nationally but this is due largely to the more rural areas pulling the scores down. The larger cities including those in the RTP area have very good public schools, many of which show up on "top schools" lists for the nation every year.
Housing costs: The RTP area is not as cheap as many people expect it will be, however housing costs are on par with the national average. Given the large number of high paying jobs, the income to housing cost ratio is quite favorable in this area. Utilities and other costs are pretty reasonable, too.
State taxes: NC's tax burden is way too high but it still compares very favorably to somewhere like California or NJ.
Crappy weather: We have occasional extremes in the weather, but winters are generally mild, spring and fall are incredible and from mid-July through the end of August is generally too hot and muggy to be enjoyable. Once per decade or so we have an ice storm in winter or a hurricane in summer/fall that causes some damage, but other than that the weather is pretty benign. It is nowhere near as ideal a climate as California, but I'd take it over NJ or Texas for sure.
Crappy fresh produce: This is the most laughable of all the false claims that were made. The piedmont region of central NC has numerous small farms supplying the local food market. Durham in particular has a food scene that is often compared to Portland, OR with countless farm-to-table ventures, a wide array of incredible restaurants serving local meats/seafood/produce and an awesome and very active farmers market. There are many folks leaving "corporate America" around here and we have a ton of folks subscribing to weekly CSA farm boxes.
Lack of access to CA: There is a non-stop flight from RDU to SFO if you really need to go to Cali for vacation or business, and there used to be a non-stop to LAX that I wouldn't be surprised to see brought back soon. I love California, but given everything around here it's hard to really justify the cost/hassle of air travel there when you can get in the car and drive to NC's beautiful beaches and mountains in just a few hours, or spend 8-12 hours in the car to get to Florida's beaches/theme parks or the big cities in the northeast and New England.
I am a native of NJ.
I lived in Dallas for four years and have lived in Cary, NC for the last five years.
I absolutely despised almost everything about Dallas. I hated the weather....the only mild seasons were spring and fall and the wind blew hard almost every day. I hated the native attitude that they were the center of the universe....really silly. It's only redeeming quality is that shopping and restaurants are good............oh, and its cheap to live there.
While Cary is not anywhere near perfect, it is a huge improvement over Dallas. It is very family oriented, close enough to the coast and mountains and there are plenty of transplants, so getting acclimated is easy. Negatives are that jobs may not be as readily available as Dallas or SJ. Also, you REALLY have to look to find good food. Even then, mostly average. Also, if you are used to the pace of NJ, Cary is going to be quite a bit slower with fewer options for entertainment.
Overall, Cary is a good place to raise kids. I'm sure once my kids are grown, we will move on from here, but for now, its working fine.
Good luck with your decision.
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