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Yeah, intra-gender hellos are seen as attempts to hook up.
That's ridiculous, if women are defensive about a simple hello, then they need some professional help. If women start talking about their significant other or family, it might be, in some cases a way to let you know they are not available. Just so you are aware from the first hello. Then again, as someone stated, family is a normal topic of conversation. Don't over analyze it all.
I don't think it signals anything if you were to ask your neighbor how her weekend was. Men and women are capable of having a conversation without some hidden agenda. You see the same girl in the gym, sure its OK to say hello. There is nothing wrong with being friendly. It's not like you're being lecherous by greeting someone.
Be friendly and respectful and you will get along fine. New places take time to get used to, don't let it get you down. The English as a second language conversational group might be a good idea for you too. You might see if they have anything like that in your area. Good Luck.
Now that I think about it, there have been times where I was mean and some girls went out of there way to talk. Once I kid you not I was just sitting down eating my food, this lady was like just looking at me, I kept looking up sure enough she still was, I tried talking to her she started sprinting the other way lol. She looked to be pushing 30 and I wasn't trying to be serious, but that was an odd moment.
If you are singling out the young attractive women to say "Hello" to then you will be perceived as trying to pick up anyone you can. If you are saying hello to the 44 year old overweight moms as well as the 26 year old nubile athletic types, you are not likely to get that reaction. You may already be the talk of the locker room. "Watch out for that new hispanic guy, he is a player on the prowl" You can get a rep quickly whether deserved or not. There is also a stereotype of young Hispanic guys that you have to watch out for (obsessed with being macho, always on the hunt).
If you approached my daughters for no reason at all, and said hi to them, I would imagine (and hope), they would immediately mention boyfriends or their crazy overprotective dad or whatever it takes and get away. Go an sit near the closest security guard or professor or with a group of people they know. We spend a lifetime drumming "Do not talk to strangers" Into our kids. As 20 something females, that is more important than ever. They can meet people in safe ways through group activities in classes, etcetera. They should not me talking to strangers, even friendly strangers and certainly not young guy strangers who randomly come up and talk to them for no reason. That is exactly the type of person they need to get away from as quickly as possible. Sorry, this is just too dangerous a time for young women to be greeting strangers who approach them and try to start a conversation outside of normal conversation circumstances.
Also you mentioned the gym. Many gals go to the gym to work out. They want to work out there. They are not there to meet people. If they want to meet people, they go to a party, a coffee shop, a bar or the student center.
If you are singling out the young attractive women to say "Hello" to then you will be perceived as trying to pick up anyone you can. If you are saying hello to the 44 year old overweight moms as well as the 26 year old nubile athletic types, you are not likely to get that reaction. You may already be the talk of the locker room. "Watch out for that new hispanic guy, he is a player on the prowl" You can get a rep quickly whether deserved or not. There is also a stereotype of young Hispanic guys that you have to watch out for (obsessed with being macho, always on the hunt).
If you approached my daughters for no reason at all, and said hi to them, I would imagine (and hope), they would immediately mention boyfriends or their crazy overprotective dad or whatever it takes and get away. Go an sit near the closest security guard or professor or with a group of people they know. We spend a lifetime drumming "Do not talk to strangers" Into our kids. As 20 something females, that is more important than ever. They can meet people in safe ways through group activities in classes, etcetera. They should not me talking to strangers, even friendly strangers and certainly not young guy strangers who randomly come up and talk to them for no reason. That is exactly the type of person they need to get away from as quickly as possible. Sorry, this is just too dangerous a time for young women to be greeting strangers who approach them and try to start a conversation outside of normal conversation circumstances.
Also you mentioned the gym. Many gals go to the gym to work out. They want to work out there. They are not there to meet people. If they want to meet people, they go to a party, a coffee shop, a bar or the student center.
I am not a macho and never been one of those guys.
Also I don't like to say hello to only the attractive women. If someone smiles me or or says hello I think the least that I can do is to return the greeting. At least from where I am from that is called education.
Yesterday when I went to the gym an old man was kind of lost as he thought that he was at the Apple store that is on the twelve oaks mall.
He kindly asked me if I knew where that store was and I gave him directions. After I told him how to get there he extended his arm to shake hands. I felt really well because I was of some help.
I cannot imagine a stranger asking me that question and me just walking away because as you say I should "never talk to strangers".
And as I and other posters have said a simple hello does not mean anything offensive or something that signals "danger, run as fast as you can from this pervert".
Maybe there are some people out there that think that way but I would not generalize.
I don't take it as a threat however, I wear a wedding ring and if you can't figure out that I am married by that it is your problem not mine. If you ask me about my family I will tell you and if you ask me out I will thank you for your flattery and gracefully decline and mention my husband. Otherwise you can say hello and we can have a chat and hopefully we will both enjoy said chat and be better for the experience of having crossed paths. I am a very different kind of woman though and I have never been accused of being like a lot of other women people have encountered.
I agree with you.
If a woman I approach tells me immediately that she is married I would not feel down or angry.
That's very natural.
But if you say a simple hello and they don't return the greeting or don't even look at you (like one of my female neighboors. Everytime I say hello to her she always immediately starts texting on her cell phone or pretending she is texting so that she doesn't even have to look at me) then I would take that as something kind of rude (independently of the circumstances).
I mean how can you return a hello when you are texting or when you are not looking at the other person.
Novi is a very family-oriented, rooted community. People there have little use for outsiders. They have all the friends (since elementary school) they can use. One more and they lack that time in the day.
That being said, you clearly want to date. Not just chat and say hello. You might be coming across as pushy or even desperate. If you want to date, find your social circle first. Break into one, the best way to do that is get a friend and start hanging around his or her friends. A nice way to start is by renting and finding young roommates.
Novi is a very family-oriented, rooted community. People there have little use for outsiders. They have all the friends (since elementary school) they can use. One more and they lack that time in the day.
That being said, you clearly want to date. Not just chat and say hello. You might be coming across as pushy or even desperate. If you want to date, find your social circle first. Break into one, the best way to do that is get a friend and start hanging around his or her friends. A nice way to start is by renting and finding young roommates.
Wow I never thought someone could have "enough" friends and no room for more.
I cannot imagine telling someone that wants to be my friend "No thanks I am not interested in your friendship as I have already many. Go away !"
Maybe it's natural for you but not for me.
By the way saying hello is not being desperate of pushy. Or how do you expect me to make friends or even a find a girlfriend?
Waiting for the girls to knock on my door and ask me out? That could really become reality of course but just in my dreams !
That's why a lot of people do not have many friends or even a girlfriend. Because they are affraid to break the ice and start a conversation. They wait forever for other people to apporach them.
And we may have different opinions but that's ok. I respect other people's point of views.
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