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I'd recommend a city with a large domestic or international airport. Denver, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin Chicago, Atlanta, Indianapolis, or any other centrally located city, with a decent sized airport, and a decent COL.
I know I recommend my beloved St. Louis to a lot of people (at least to those I think it would suit!) but I think it really may be worth considering in your situation:
-Centrally Located with a major airport and easy interstate and rail links
-VERY Affordable compared to San Francisco and other major cities throughout the U.S.
-On a Cost of Living calculator (on a rival website so cannot post it here!) it says that St. Louis is 57% cheaper than San Francisco with housing being the biggest factor- 85% cheaper
-A lot of wonderful affordable and free amenities, particularly for Children. St. Louis was ranked as the #1 city for 'cheapskates' in the U.S. by Kiplingers last year but it has more libaries and cultural activities per capita than NYC. Amongst others, there's the St. Louis Science Center, Missouri History Museum, St. Louis Art Gallery, The Zoo, The City Museum, etc etc. Not to mention fabulous live theater and spectator sport options.
-St. Louis has a LOT of history and retains some wonderful architecture and diverse neighborhoods
-While dining options may not be as expansive as San Francisco, almost every cuisine you could think of is available. There are plenty of indy and mom & pop restaurants.
-Traffic isn't nearly as crazy as San Francisco
-While the Summers are hot for some (I'm from Australia originally so the Summers here don't phase me), they are reasonably short. The Winters do get snow, but nowhere near the amounts that Chicago or Minneapolis get. They're definitely not too harsh or overly extreme.
Overall, I really do think it may be a fit for you. One of the things that deters a lot of people from St. Louis is the perception of high crime. As any St. Louisan will tell you however, the crime statistics are warped. St. Louis City seceded from the County back in the 1800s. Therefore, the crime statistic isn't reflective of the Greater Metro Statistical Area. While there are plenty of safe options in the city itself (most of the crime is concentrated on the Northside), there are some wonderful, affordable family friendly and extremely safe suburbs in the county within 20 minutes of downtown St. Louis. (The suburb I live in is frequently listed as one of the safest in the U.S.)
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