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Old 08-05-2018, 03:21 PM
 
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
10,749 posts, read 23,822,981 times
Reputation: 14665

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LINative View Post
Ha! Love it all especially the part about Rhode Island!

As a New Yorker I have to defend how we treat Vermont, You see Vermont used to be a NY girl (its true, read a history book) but she left in a hissy fit. She said she could not stand the fast paced lifestyle anymore. She "needed to find herself".

The reality is that she is now living with the Elves somewhere deep in the forested Green Mountains, forever searching for various roots and berries for her breakfast pies
.
Just read this over again, old thread ... but it gave me a good belly laugh since I'm moving to the Green Mountain State in 2019.
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Old 08-05-2018, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
1,049 posts, read 653,746 times
Reputation: 1206
I will go ahead and revive it.

Missouri: Your cousin who married Illinois. You don't hear see him often because your Cousin's Wife Illinois has blocked him off from the rest of the family. You know that he likes to watch baseball and duck hunt but you don't know anything else about him.

Illinois: Your cousin's wife. She lives a fairly lavish life but she has accumulated a lot of debt. She also gets into heated political debates at the table with your other conservative family members so you have to stay away from politics during the holidays. She also can't stand it when you pronounce the s at the end of her name and you have to visit her house to see your cousin Missouri.

Indiana: Another one of your cousin's but ever since you got into a very heated altercation over college basketball you haven't been back for a visit.

Ohio: Your sister who has the potential to still be successful but is too focused on the past.

West Virginia: Your brother who threw a fit and set the couch on fire. He ran away from home when he was 16 and you haven't tried to see him because he is crazier than even you are.

Virginia Your grandfather who always has a story to tell as he was there at the beginning. He was also the main reason that your brother West Virginia set the couch on fire.

Tennessee Your musically inclined and party-animal brother. His parties are the hit of the community but often times they become very crowded and get out of hand.
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Old 08-05-2018, 05:40 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,349 posts, read 13,943,865 times
Reputation: 18268
I'm in North Dakota so here goes.

South Dakota: The fraternal twin sister. Although she has a similar name and is in the same family, she is quite different from her twin brother North Dakota in a lot of ways.

Montana: The rich aunt who puts on a good image of beauty but may not be as rich as she seems. She's fun to visit in small doses but don't discuss politics.

Minnesota: North Dakota's older brother and who he tries to be most like.

Manitoba and Saskatchewan: The two cousins who live close by but North Dakota only sees about once a year since they are very different.

Last edited by NDak15; 08-05-2018 at 06:28 PM..
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:17 PM
 
1,351 posts, read 896,629 times
Reputation: 2478
Iowa

Minnesota: Younger brother that's currently in his first year of college and thinks he's smarter than everyone else. Unaware that everyone was laughing at him when he passed out and pissed himself after a 6 pack.

Wisconsin: the drunk uncle that everybody loves. Unmarried, and never misses a party.

Illinois: standoffish older sister that married up. Doesn't really associate with the family much, but goes hard when she does.

Missouri: your cousin who used to have a meth problem. Nice guy, but the damage is irreversible. Probably has a mullet, and likes jean shorts.

Nebraska: your fraternal twin that you constantly bicker with and mock. Everyone else thinks you're pretty much identical, but you spend all your time trying to convince people you're totally different.

South Dakota: the cousin you rarely see, but every time you hang you remember how alike you actually are.
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Old 08-05-2018, 08:02 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,349 posts, read 13,943,865 times
Reputation: 18268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
I'm in Montana

Idaho - Crazy survivalist cousin who has a conspiracy theory that Uncle Sam is out to get him.
Wyoming - Bi-polar uncle. Can be classy and the star of the show one day and 'barely there' the next.
South Dakota - Little brother that we used to have a lot in common but has now found his own path. Similar, yet different.
North Dakota - Way older brother. Forgot about him when he went away for a long time but is now back and is WILD. He's really into his tough guy image. He frequents the red light district on a regular basis.
Alberta - Cool big sister. A little bit country, a little bit cosmopolitan. Drives fast.
British Columbia - Hippy cousin. Always fun to go visit but he doesn't live in reality.
Saskatchewan - Little step brother that we don't know very well because he lives with his mom and rarely comes to visit. When he does, we talk hockey or ranching because that's all we know about each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IowanFarmer View Post
Iowa

Minnesota: Younger brother that's currently in his first year of college and thinks he's smarter than everyone else. Unaware that everyone was laughing at him when he passed out and pissed himself after a 6 pack.

Wisconsin: the drunk uncle that everybody loves. Unmarried, and never misses a party.

Illinois: standoffish older sister that married up. Doesn't really associate with the family much, but goes hard when she does.

Missouri: your cousin who used to have a meth problem. Nice guy, but the damage is irreversible. Probably has a mullet, and likes jean shorts.

Nebraska: your fraternal twin that you constantly bicker with and mock. Everyone else thinks you're pretty much identical, but you spend all your time trying to convince people you're totally different.

South Dakota: the cousin you rarely see, but every time you hang you remember how alike you actually are.
These are hilarious.
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Old 08-05-2018, 09:01 PM
 
Location: On the Great South Bay
9,169 posts, read 13,249,970 times
Reputation: 10141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert_SW_77 View Post
Just read this over again, old thread ... but it gave me a good belly laugh since I'm moving to the Green Mountain State in 2019.
I literally cannot believe some of the stuff I wrote in the past LOL.
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Old 08-05-2018, 09:42 PM
 
Location: WA Desert, Seattle native
9,398 posts, read 8,880,044 times
Reputation: 8812
As hinted earlier in this older thread...

Washington is the older brother, or even father to Oregon. Full of knowledge, and also full of himself. A bit of hyperbole, a bit of a boorish attitude, and the sense that they are more important than them. Of course, this is mostly nonsense, until it isn't. There is a definite divide between these two neighbors. You can see it in college football, but more importantly, WA has been growing quite a bit faster than Oregon, and is generally regarded as a higher economic engine.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,650 posts, read 60,925,505 times
Reputation: 101078
Texas is my home.

Oklahoma - that little brother you've always gotten along well with, and you're sometimes taken aback by his jealousy because generally he's so laid back and friendly. He has a storm cellar, which is sort of cool. Every time you visit, he wants to show it to you, along with his other survival gear.

Arkansas - that cousin who is full of opinions about how lazy everyone else is, but he's in disability and Medicaid and food stamps himself. He's absolutely no fun at Thanksgiving, but he does have a good shooting range set up in his back yard and while he drinks Keystone, he always has a lot of it on hand. He bought his sofa, two chairs, two end tables and a coffee table (and two matching lamps) as a set for $500 - rent to own so he really paid about $2000 for them. The sofa and chairs are upholstered in a cammo pattern between the cigarette burns.

Louisiana - your crazy ex. Don't go back, don't go back, don't go back - I don't care how great the sex is.

New Mexico - Your sister who always thinks her seven layer dip is better than anyone else's because she puts Hatch peppers in hers. It IS good, if you don't think about her making it in a ramshackle kitchen in a trailer park during a dust storm. She's got a couple of kids, but I'm not sure they have the same daddy, and the man living in her trailer with her now isn't their daddy either. He seems nice enough but he's the silent type. Always trying to get her to move to the reservation.

Last edited by KathrynAragon; 08-06-2018 at 06:52 AM..
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Old 08-06-2018, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
17,795 posts, read 13,692,692 times
Reputation: 17824
Oklahoma:

Arkansas: Your first cousin who you spend a lot of time with. She's kind of pretty but not pretentious. She can be country but she can handle herself when she cleans up if she has to. As kids she hated to lose to you in games but as an adult you get along pretty well. Neither of you can stand your arrogant sister and her husband.

Kansas: This is your way older brother who you really didn't know that well growing up. He has been in the workforce and has had a good cooperate job and has retired. Did come home from college for your birth.

Missouri: 2nd cousin who is older, and isn't around all that much. You go to visit once in a while to their house. They have a real nice house and are pretty cultured but like to spend some time with your cousin Arkansas doing kitchy stuff and watching car races and fishing and stuff on occasion.


Colorado: Your earthy distant cousin. Likes granola and raisons. Moves in different circles in the most part and not so much with the rest of your family. But it's cool to go visit them and although they are standoffish and smug, they will tolerate you. Also, they don't care much for arrogant sister and her husband.

New Mexico: Another distant cousin. Lives close to Colorado but not in as nice a part of town. Was also raised differently than either you or your cousin Colorado. You go there at times for something different and although they don't impress you with their high falutin' like Colorado, you enjoy keeping company with them all the same. Also they don't do anything but tolerate your arrogant sister and her husband.

Texas: Your arrogant older sister thinks she is too good for the rest of the family. She is the smartest, most sophisticated, cultured member of the family. She REALLY thinks she is good looking and she isn't bad...…….. but she uses a lot of make up. Despite the fact that she grew up in your family and hasn't lost the accent she looks down on everybody else in the whole family because she has "elevated" herself. Her husband is a good guy but is all into huntin' and fishin' and cowboy hat wearin' and of course talkin' about how good at it he is. Everything they own is the best and they are always telling you how it's better than what you have. But you go to their house (which of course is better than yours) just for the entertainment and the fact that they have a big yard.
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Old 08-06-2018, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,759,995 times
Reputation: 35920
Colorado:

Wyoming-The shirttail relative (cousin's husband) that everyone ignores at the family reunion.

Nebraska-The bachelor farmer uncle whose politics are a mixture of socialism and Republicanism.

Kansas-The other bachelor farmer uncle whose politics are Tea Party Republican.

Oklahoma-Another shirttail relative that no one pays attention to.

New Mexico-The cousin who lives in genteel poverty.

Utah-The cousin who is a religious fanatic who tries to convert everyone at the family gatherings, won't drink coffee, or heaven forbid beer.
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