If your neighboring states were family members... (casino, tornado)

[MMS02760]

Rhode Island


CT - the snobbish rich sibling that likes to show off its wealth and rub your nose in it
MA - the snooty well educated sibling that likes to always let you know they are far superior and smarter

[Pincho-toot]

Wisconsin: The alcoholic older brother who is obsessed with football, loves brats and cheese curds, gets into bar fights and shows his beer gut with no shame. Fun at parties, annoying on a week day.

North Dakota: The male cousin with a fraternal twin sister. Minnesota used to babysit him when he was a little kid, so he looks up to her a lot. Kinda ignored and forgotten in the family.

South Dakota: ND's slightly more popular twin sister who is only really well known because she made a really cool art project in 4th grade which she still has on display in her bedroom.

Iowa: Minnesota and Wisconsin younger brother who is more lowkey. Very friendly but does his own thing. Family oriented and only drinks on occasion. Used to party hard in college but much more settled now.


Michigan: Wisconsin's hot but clingy girlfriend who is "in between" jobs. Outdoorsy but with a "ghetto side" if you tick her off. Has a split personality.

And Minnesota herself is a good looking middle aged woman who is very nice in general but can be quite passive aggressive. Can be found in the kitchen making tater tot hot dish or tubing on the weekends. A mix of girly and Tom boy. Had a reputation of banging all the hockey players in high school.

Manitoba: The grandma who Minnesota only sees on the odd holiday. Very sweet and bakes rhubarb pies.

Ontario: The grandpa who is very nice but spends most his time smoking a pipe and reading the news paper.

[NDak15]

Originally Posted by BadgerFilms

Wisconsin: The alcoholic older brother who is obsessed with football, loves brats and cheese curds, gets into bar fights and shows his beer gut with no shame. Fun at parties, annoying on a week day.

North Dakota: The male cousin with a fraternal twin sister. Minnesota used to babysit him when he was a little kid, so he looks up to her a lot. Kinda ignored and forgotten in the family.

South Dakota: ND's slightly more popular twin sister who is only really well known because she made a really cool art project in 4th grade which she still has on display in her bedroom.

Iowa: Minnesota and Wisconsin younger brother who is more lowkey. Very friendly but does his own thing. Family oriented and only drinks on occasion. Used to party hard in college but much more settled now.


Michigan: Wisconsin's hot but clingy girlfriend who is "in between" jobs. Outdoorsy but with a "ghetto side" if you tick her off. Has a split personality.

And Minnesota herself is a good looking middle aged woman who is very nice in general but can be quite passive aggressive. Can be found in the kitchen making tater tot hot dish or tubing on the weekends. A mix of girly and Tom boy. Had a reputation of banging all the hockey players in high school.

Manitoba: The grandma who Minnesota only sees on the odd holiday. Very sweet and bakes rhubarb pies.

Ontario: The grandpa who is very nice but spends most his time smoking a pipe and reading the news paper.

Our assessments of the Dakotas are very similar. We have similar ideas on Minnesota although I didn't explain Minnesota much in my post.

[eddie gein]

Originally Posted by Mattks

Oklahoma: If we are really related, why do you talk so dang weird and what is going on in your churches. Can’t everyone just sit down and have some peace and quiet. When you come over and ask us if we “y’all have some soda,” it’s like you live in a whole different world. Can’t you just speak English and ask, “you guys have some pop?”

Sorry there podna'. You ain't gonna find nobody down here askin' you if want any soda. Maybe a occasional "sody pop" every once in a blue moon, but you can bet yer mama's britches people down here'll offer you a "coke" and braing you a Dr. Pepper. And since you ain't the church goin' type I might even offer you a colbeer. Go ahead and draink it. It ain't gonna bitechee.

[KStoNYtoILtoTX]

Originally Posted by Mattks

Kansas

Missouri: the older uncle who we got in a fist fight with years ago, we never completely worked things out, but our lives seem to be forever intertwined... too intertwined... can’t you just let us have some nice stuff on our side of the border.

Nebraska: More or less our twin. We grew out of the same circumstances and basically kept to the same values and lifestyle. Not much to say really, how’s the weather? Can’t wait to go back to the zoo someday.

Oklahoma: If we are really related, why do you talk so dang weird and what is going on in your churches. Can’t everyone just sit down and have some peace and quiet. When you come over and ask us if we “y’all have some soda,” it’s like you live in a whole different world. Can’t you just speak English and ask, “you guys have some pop?”

Colorado: The cool cousin we try to visit as often as possible, but when it comes right down to it, you kind of freak us out, I think the altitude is effecting your mental state.

As a native Kansan, I was going to post, but I think you nailed it.

[BamaDave]

ALABAMA:

1. Mississippi: The sibling who makes you feel a little bit better about yourself, because he's not as good looking and always performs a little bit worse.

2. Tennessee: The cousin who makes you a little jealous, because they're really starting to take off and make something of themselves, while you're still stuck in a rut to some degree. Caveat: this cousin is tri-polar, with three pretty distinct personalities.

3. Georgia: The bro who's extremely talented and successful in one big, huge way, but otherwise pretty much looks and acts just like you.

4. Florida: The 60-something aunt who's had plastic surgery, bleaches her hair blonde, and has tanned skin that looks 25 years older. Nevertheless, she's lots of fun and great to go visit!

[TarHeelTerritory]

Originally Posted by BamaDave

ALABAMA:

1. Mississippi: The sibling who makes you feel a little bit better about yourself, because he's not as good looking and always performs a little bit worse.

2. Tennessee: The cousin who makes you a little jealous, because they're really starting to take off and make something of themselves, while you're still stuck in a rut to some degree. Caveat: this cousin is tri-polar, with three pretty distinct personalities.

3. Georgia: The bro who's extremely talented and successful in one big, huge way, but otherwise pretty much looks and acts just like you.

4. Florida: The 60-something aunt who's had plastic surgery, bleaches her hair blonde, and has tanned skin that looks 25 years older. Nevertheless, she's lots of fun and great to go visit!

This is hilarious!

[Craziaskowboi]

Pennsylvania


New York: The older brother who genuinely loves you but does a lousy job of showing it. He's very cocksure and constantly gives you unsolicited advice, trying to make you more "cool" like him. He drives a Mercedes, but thinks your SUV is a waste of money and gas. He freaked out when you bought a gun and joined the NRA. Sometimes he has to tell your cousins Massachusetts and Connecticut to stop talking **** about you, because they don't know you like he does, and half of what they say about you isn't true.

New Jersey: The younger brother with a perpetual chip on his shoulder who invites himself over all the time, makes a mess, and then gets angry when you ask him why he invited himself over. He tries too hard to be like New York, and he calls you a redneck for owning a gun, going to church more than twice a year, and not voting straight-ticket Democrat. In spite of all that, you're always there for him if he ever needs help in a bad situation, but you also know better than to expect any favors from him in return.

Delaware: The quiet younger sister you've always felt very protective of. As children, you were very close, and she always turned to you whenever New Jersey or Maryland made her cry, but these days she does her own thing for the most part, and you're no longer sure exactly where you stand with her. Nonetheless, you enjoy whatever time you get to spend with her, and secretly, you'd take a bullet for her if necessary.

Maryland: The loud younger sister who's made a pretty good life for herself in spite of having an identity crisis when she was younger. Against all odds, she earned a master's degree in Public Administration, but now she has a bad habit of insulting your intelligence because you only have a bachelor's degree. She's always been close to your cousin Virginia, but that's begun to bother you because Virginia has begun acting like a douchebag in recent years.

West Virginia: The quiet younger brother who was neglected as a child. You were the only one who gave him much attention, and he always turned to you whenever Ohio made him cry, so he's become kind of clingy. He has enough money to cover all his basic living expenses and maintain a savings account, but not much discretionary income, so he likes to borrow your stuff when he can. You and he often enjoy hunting, skiing, and other outdoor activities together.

Ohio: The passive-aggressive, hypocritical younger brother. He tries to make everything a competition, boasting about his accomplishments while qualifying yours. He has more stuff than you, even though he makes less money than you. He tries to shame you in public by criticizing you for behavior that he's guilty of too. He calls you a redneck because you spend time with West Virginia, whom he still torments. You and your cousin Michigan both just want to smack him sometimes.

[CookieSkoon]

Originally Posted by Craziaskowboi

Pennsylvania


New York: The older brother who genuinely loves you but does a lousy job of showing it. He's very cocksure and constantly gives you unsolicited advice, trying to make you more "cool" like him. He drives a Mercedes, but thinks your SUV is a waste of money and gas. He freaked out when you bought a gun and joined the NRA. Sometimes he has to tell your cousins Massachusetts and Connecticut to stop talking **** about you, because they don't know you like he does, and half of what they say about you isn't true.

New Jersey: The younger brother with a perpetual chip on his shoulder who invites himself over all the time, makes a mess, and then gets angry when you ask him why he invited himself over. He tries too hard to be like New York, and he calls you a redneck for owning a gun, going to church more than twice a year, and not voting straight-ticket Democrat. In spite of all that, you're always there for him if he ever needs help in a bad situation, but you also know better than to expect any favors from him in return.

Delaware: The quiet younger sister you've always felt very protective of. As children, you were very close, and she always turned to you whenever New Jersey or Maryland made her cry, but these days she does her own thing for the most part, and you're no longer sure exactly where you stand with her. Nonetheless, you enjoy whatever time you get to spend with her, and secretly, you'd take a bullet for her if necessary.

Maryland: The loud younger sister who's made a pretty good life for herself in spite of having an identity crisis when she was younger. Against all odds, she earned a master's degree in Public Administration, but now she has a bad habit of insulting your intelligence because you only have a bachelor's degree. She's always been close to your cousin Virginia, but that's begun to bother you because Virginia has begun acting like a douchebag in recent years.

West Virginia: The quiet younger brother who was neglected as a child. You were the only one who gave him much attention, and he always turned to you whenever Ohio made him cry, so he's become kind of clingy. He has enough money to cover all his basic living expenses and maintain a savings account, but not much discretionary income, so he likes to borrow your stuff when he can. You and he often enjoy hunting, skiing, and other outdoor activities together.

Ohio: The passive-aggressive, hypocritical younger brother. He tries to make everything a competition, boasting about his accomplishments while qualifying yours. He has more stuff than you, even though he makes less money than you. He tries to shame you in public by criticizing you for behavior that he's guilty of too. He calls you a redneck because you spend time with West Virginia, whom he still torments. You and your cousin Michigan both just want to smack him sometimes.

"You were the only one who gave him much attention, and he always turned to you whenever Ohio made him cry"

I actually laughed too hard and choked.

[Craziaskowboi]

Originally Posted by Craziaskowboi

Pennsylvania


Ohio: The passive-aggressive, hypocritical younger brother. He tries to make everything a competition, boasting about his accomplishments while qualifying yours. He has more stuff than you, even though he makes less money than you. He tries to shame you in public by criticizing you for behavior that he's guilty of too. He calls you a redneck because you spend time with West Virginia, whom he still torments. You and your cousin Michigan both just want to smack him sometimes.

ADDENDUM: You'll defend him against other states outside the family who talk **** about him, especially since those states likely regard you in the same (low) esteem. Nonetheless, his annoying traits make you and your cousin Michigan want to smack him sometimes.