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Old 05-15-2014, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
836 posts, read 976,251 times
Reputation: 904

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Whenever I tell my friends that, they think I'm weird, like I'm a loser or something for not wanting to live in a big special city. Most of them generally aspire to urban life and when they hear someone who isn't interested in it, they're reaction is this:

Has anyone else been looked down upon or made fun of for not liking urban living, for whatever reason? Why do people who prefer urban living sometimes look down upon those who prefer to live in the country or a smaller area? I just don't get it.
Absolutely! My best friend came to NYC a few weeks ago to visit me and I told her how I was planning to move back to Richmond, VA to buy a house. She was like WHAT?!!! You're leaving NYC for Virginia? What is wrong with you? What do you need a house for? You're single with no kids!

So many people will look cross-eyed at me when I tell them. It's not for everyone. Trust me, after living in both worlds, I prefer the smaller city too but everyone's different.
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,669 posts, read 16,739,546 times
Reputation: 8210
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrisce4 View Post
Absolutely! My best friend came to NYC a few weeks ago to visit me and I told her how I was planning to move back to Richmond, VA to buy a house. She was like WHAT?!!! You're leaving NYC for Virginia? What is wrong with you? What do you need a house for? You're single with no kids!

So many people will look cross-eyed at me when I tell them. It's not for everyone. Trust me, after living in both worlds, I prefer the smaller city too but everyone's different.
Yeah same here.

Whenever I tell other people around my age that I moved out of NYC and back to CT, they're like "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???" I simply tell them that two years was enough for me and after living in both a big city and a smaller city, I honestly prefer the latter.

I lived in NYC at the age of 22-23, right after college, and it was the coolest thing back then. Now I'm turning 30 and am more interested in quality of life. Is that weird of me? In the meantime, I have friends who never had the chance to live in a big city, and are just making the move TO a big city now, at the age of 30, because they're sick of the suburbs. Am I just ahead of the gang now? Or am I just plain weird?

Last edited by JMT; 05-16-2014 at 08:22 AM..
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
836 posts, read 976,251 times
Reputation: 904
Quote:
Originally Posted by ABQConvict View Post
Not liking big cities is fine as long as you don't express your dislike in terms of insult. Much like city people should not insult small towns or rural areas.

To each their own.
Exactly.
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
836 posts, read 976,251 times
Reputation: 904
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Yeah same here.

Whenever I tell other people around my age that I moved out of NYC and back to CT, they're like "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???" I simply tell them that two years was enough for me and after living in both a big city and a smaller city, I honestly prefer the latter.

I lived in NYC at the age of 22-23, right after college, and it was the coolest thing back then. Now I'm turning 30 and am more interested in quality of life. Is that weird of me? In the meantime, I have friends who never had the chance to live in a big city, and are just making the move TO a big city now, at the age of 30, because they're sick of the suburbs. Am I just ahead of the gang now? Or am I just plain weird?
Ahead of the gang!! You already been there, did that, bought the T-shirt. They are just now doing it. I did the same thing- moved here 1 week after graduation ( I was 22 y/o), and leaving in 2015 when my lease ends which would make 3 years in Dec 2014. Yes, this lifestyle is exhausting, and expensive. I'd rather live somewhere I can afford to buy a house and have a comfortable living. Just my preference though. My friend is OK with renting forever so she can have New York, NY as her address lol To each his own.

But, I am definitely with you on this. NYC is a lot of fun, but I wouldn't mind just visiting from time to time. I have no desire to get married & raise children here as I get older.

Last edited by JMT; 05-16-2014 at 08:22 AM..
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Old 05-16-2014, 06:13 AM
 
Location: South Jersey
14,502 posts, read 8,721,794 times
Reputation: 5238
I think you're far from being in the minority on this. The primary attraction of cities seems to be jobs, or if you're gay and single, like me, the nightlife and greater number of potential partners. I have never wanted to live in the city, though, certainly not on a long-term basis, though I have at times fancied the idea of it being easier to find partners in the city. But I'm far more used to and comfortable with the small town/rural environment, which is the environment I've grown up in. I've been to NYC maybe about 10 times in my life, and that environment gets tiring even after a few hours: just far too many people and ugly, built-up surroundings. I've heard a statistic that schizophrenia is twice as prevalent in urban environment versus rural ones. And I'm not saying I think I'd be susceptible to this affliction, but I can sort of intuitively understand why. At the very least, I can say my mental health would fare far worse in the city. I attended Rutgers-New Brunswick for 3 years, and I was generally miserable in that urban environment. But whenever I'd come back to my bucolic South Jersey home, it was like a giant weight off my shoulder.

The city-loving phase many people seem to go through seems to peak right around this age, but I've never been attracted to it. If people do look down on people who don't like cities, they can look down on me for all I care because truthfully, I don't have a very high opinion of such people. But it's sort of a good thing: let them live in the cities because this nation is overpopulated as it is, and we cannot afford a mass exodus from the cities and the transformation of small towns into crowded suburbs.
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Old 05-16-2014, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
32,095 posts, read 26,456,719 times
Reputation: 42033
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckhthankgod View Post
Also, they may not realize that you can get some form of urban living even in smaller communities. So, one or a few places aren't the be all, end all in that regard. It may be different, but it is still available.
I've found South Carolina to be surprisingly more urban and open to downtown revitalization and walkable spaces than people may imagine. Columbia, Charleston, and Greenville all have lovely downtowns and trends toward urbanization. No, you can't go without a car there, but it's surprisingly refreshing for a very red state and having to live in the land of endless sprawl like I am now, Indiana.
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Old 05-16-2014, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Englewood, Near Eastside Indy
8,733 posts, read 16,062,627 times
Reputation: 6875
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
I've found South Carolina to be surprisingly more urban and open to downtown revitalization and walkable spaces than people may imagine. Columbia, Charleston, and Greenville all have lovely downtowns and trends toward urbanization. No, you can't go without a car there, but it's surprisingly refreshing for a very red state and having to live in the land of endless sprawl like I am now, Indiana.
You choose to live in a place like Carmel and complain about sprawl. Is this a joke?
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Old 05-16-2014, 08:10 AM
 
77,811 posts, read 105,831,185 times
Reputation: 16670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
I've found South Carolina to be surprisingly more urban and open to downtown revitalization and walkable spaces than people may imagine. Columbia, Charleston, and Greenville all have lovely downtowns and trends toward urbanization. No, you can't go without a car there, but it's surprisingly refreshing for a very red state and having to live in the land of endless sprawl like I am now, Indiana.
I think you can find that urban feel anywhere, to some degree. Even in small cities. For instance, there are small cities near not too far from where I live that have loft apartments in or near their Downtowns. So, I think it more available than people realize. Here is one example I had in mind: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=Logan...,2.99,,0,-1.67
Logan Park Lofts | Maintenance Free Living | Auburn, NY

Or this one: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=317+W...1,95.8,,0,0.19

https://maps.google.com/maps?q=472+W...199.81,,0,0.63
Sutton Real Estate Company, LLC
Sutton Real Estate Company, LLC

Last edited by ckhthankgod; 05-16-2014 at 08:18 AM..
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Old 05-16-2014, 08:58 AM
 
6,145 posts, read 7,217,034 times
Reputation: 6605
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
It would appear these people aren't really "friends" if that's the intent and would spend time worrying about what really matters, your own personal happiness....first. You'll find everything else will fall into place once that's achieved.
This.

OP, if they are really your friends they will be happy that you are happy, even if your preference isn't the same as theirs. I moved from the Omaha area to a city of 70K (though my first choice is not to even live in this city...I prefer small town/rural). I have never been happier. I can't tell you how many friends and family members and even just Facebook acquaintances have told me they've never seen me so happy. While there are certainly other factors, my location is a HUGE part of that. I know they would love it if I was still close by, but I think seeing the changes in me has put them at ease. Nobody looks down on me or makes rude comments because I've chosen to live a lifestyle that works for me.

Find your place in the world and don't worry about what others think or say. They aren't the ones who have to live your life.
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Old 05-16-2014, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,669 posts, read 16,739,546 times
Reputation: 8210
Quote:
Originally Posted by snj90 View Post
I think you're far from being in the minority on this. The primary attraction of cities seems to be jobs, or if you're gay and single, like me, the nightlife and greater number of potential partners. I have never wanted to live in the city, though, certainly not on a long-term basis, though I have at times fancied the idea of it being easier to find partners in the city. But I'm far more used to and comfortable with the small town/rural environment, which is the environment I've grown up in. I've been to NYC maybe about 10 times in my life, and that environment gets tiring even after a few hours: just far too many people and ugly, built-up surroundings. I've heard a statistic that schizophrenia is twice as prevalent in urban environment versus rural ones. And I'm not saying I think I'd be susceptible to this affliction, but I can sort of intuitively understand why. At the very least, I can say my mental health would fare far worse in the city. I attended Rutgers-New Brunswick for 3 years, and I was generally miserable in that urban environment. But whenever I'd come back to my bucolic South Jersey home, it was like a giant weight off my shoulder.

The city-loving phase many people seem to go through seems to peak right around this age, but I've never been attracted to it. If people do look down on people who don't like cities, they can look down on me for all I care because truthfully, I don't have a very high opinion of such people. But it's sort of a good thing: let them live in the cities because this nation is overpopulated as it is, and we cannot afford a mass exodus from the cities and the transformation of small towns into crowded suburbs.
Yeah I just feel more at ease living in less populated areas. Also, about the gay life thing....from my experience, I haven't noticed a significant difference between living in NYC and living in central CT. Regardless of whether I was in the big city or a smaller city, I still managed to have a little circle of friends, dates here and there, and some fun along the way (haha). Plus, in those big cities, friends tend to come and go more often, because people are constantly moving into or out of the city.

However, at the same time, I feel like the central CT area has been in decline, with regard to gay community. Seriously, like 60% of them left the area within the past 5-10 years. And now that I'm turning 30 tomorrow, I feel like the situation will only worsen, if I were to go back and live there. However, I would feel pretty stupid for relocating somewhere solely for new friendship and dating opportunities, since people come and go, and you can't depend on things like that for certain. I mean, if things don't fall into place, then what do you do.....move again to another new place?

Entering my 30's, I would prefer not to have gay life be the #1 priority, but I also don't want to neglect it either, as I am a human being who desires a social life and dating opportunities as well. It's sad and I don't know what to do. I guess it's just a matter of compromise and finding a middle ground. But I can't handle any metro area greater than 2M people. I hate it.

Another point of frustration is that many of my friends tell me that I'm "very attractive" or "gorgeous," and should therefore move to a big city. But.....what if I hate big cities?
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