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Greetings everyone. This is my first time ever posting on City Data. I love reading posts about life in the different cities, so now I wanted to ask a question to get some extra opinions.
I am a 29-year-old white American man due to be married to a woman I met while living in Mexico, and my main question is what would be an ideal place in the United States for us to live? I currently live in the Phoenix metropolitan area but am originally from the East Coast. I ended up out here as a result of having served in the military followed by inability to get a job back east after returning to civilian life. Phoenix may be unrelentingly hot, but it has a highly stable job market and low cost of living.
My soon-to-be wife is currently learning English and while not yet “fluent” is able to perform basic tasks in English (at her current job in a department store she occasionally deals with retirees from the USA and Canada who refuse to learn Spanish). Because she is not yet 100% fluent in English, she will not be able to immediately enter the job market upon moving to the USA unless she finds work in something like a Mexican restaurant. However, she has a strong desire to learn English and communicate in English and does not want to live in an “ethnic enclave” like East Los Angeles.
We both love children greatly and want to have four children, so obviously we need an area that is relatively affordable. By “relatively affordable” I do not mean that each child needs his/her own room; my entire childhood I shared a room with my brother in a modest 3-bedroom home so I don't see a need for every child to get their own room. My fiancee has two sisters and until her older sister married, all three of them slept in the same bedroom, so we both come from backgrounds of sharing rooms in small houses. Neither one of us sees a need for those giant suburban homes that 20 people could easily live in but are inhabited by a married couple with no children. We prefer to view the house as a place to sleep and eat but that you truly “live” outside the house; we both love to ride our bikes and go see things and we hope to inculcate that same mentality in our children.
My fiancee and I are both strongly opposed to circumcision and would like to live in an area that is tolerant of people who refuse to circumcise (and where the doctors won't try to force the parents to circumcise). I know that when I lived in Illinois and told one of my coworkers about my opposition to circumcision he basically acted like I was some sort of a terrorist because circumcision is so entrenched in Middle America that to question it is like someone in the Dark Ages questioning whether the Earth was flat. Most Mexican men are uncircumcised and my fiancee was horrified when I told her that many American boys are circumcised.
You might be thinking “why not just stay in Phoenix?” Yes, it's a very good area but I wanted to see if there were perhaps better areas. Also, seeing as she is Mexican, we both are kind of worried about Sheriff Arpaio. It would also be nice to live in an area that isn't 110F for two months straight during the summer.
My only other concern is the age gap; my fiancee is only 21 and in many places people are judgmental about large age gaps.
After reading this, does anyone have any good ideas on where we should live? Or would staying in Phoenix be a good option?
Stay in Phoenix if you have to. Don't worry about that sheriff or all the racist people there. They are dumb and passive aggressive. All they can do is talk on forums like these or make YouTube videos.
You're not really going to find that combo of Mexican culture AND low COL anywhere else. Houston and many of the other Texas cities have a higher COL than Phoenix; Miami is more expensive AND is not necessarily a Mexican culture city (it's more Caribbean than anything else).
You might be thinking “why not just stay in Phoenix?” Yes, it's a very good area but I wanted to see if there were perhaps better areas. Also, seeing as she is Mexican, we both are kind of worried about Sheriff Arpaio.
I'm Anglo and I live a thousand miles away, and even I am worried about Sheriff Arpaio.
Why not go back to Mexico? I know lots of people in Mexico who came to the USA, and when they had kids, decided that Mexico is a better, healthier place to raise them..
You sound very concerned about being oppressed by judgmental people, but you come off as pretty judgmental yourself, and I think you are exercising yourself with a lot of needless concerns that you don't really need to worry about.
fiancee and I are both strongly opposed to circumcision and would like to live in an area that is tolerant of people who refuse to circumcise (and where the doctors won't try to force the parents to circumcise). I know that when I lived in Illinois and told one of my coworkers about my opposition to circumcision he basically acted like I was some sort of a terrorist because circumcision is so entrenched in Middle America that to question it is like someone in the Dark Ages questioning whether the Earth was flat. Most Mexican men are uncircumcised and my fiancee was horrified when I told her that many American boys are circumcised.
You're basing your life on "no circumcision" for your future children? You know, you could have all girls.
Last edited by nightlysparrow; 06-23-2014 at 08:32 PM..
There are many benefits to circumcision. It is imperative that you reconsider this fateful decision.
What? No. I'm sure cultures that practice female circumcision tout the benefits of that procedure, but American culture thinks it's strange. Same thing with male circumcision. It is not so common in Mexican culture, and so it seems strange. I have an intact son in SA. No one pressured us either way.
My fiancee and I are both strongly opposed to circumcision and would like to live in an area that is tolerant of people who refuse to circumcise (and where the doctors won't try to force the parents to circumcise). I know that when I lived in Illinois and told one of my coworkers about my opposition to circumcision he basically acted like I was some sort of a terrorist because circumcision is so entrenched in Middle America that to question it is like someone in the Dark Ages questioning whether the Earth was flat. Most Mexican men are uncircumcised and my fiancee was horrified when I told her that many American boys are circumcised.
I'm a pretty open person, but this is not a typical conversation to have between coworkers. There is really no reason to bring it up to anyone but family members and maybe some close friends. And who cares what other people think anyway?
There are plenty of people in the US who are circumcised and uncircumcised. I have seen far more aggression about this issue from people opposed to circumcision, for what it's worth.
I really don't think this is a regional issue, but I would assume less religious places are more 'tolerant of people who refuse to circumcise'. Although I think the vast majority of people anywhere don't care.
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