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I'm looking at schools in those three states. It wasn't intended to post in the New Hampshire forum... I added a thread off another post about New England and it ended up here. I'm new to the site so that seemed to be the only way to post and there doesn't seem to be a way to change it now.. is there? Anyway, New Hampshire seems beautiful from all pictures I've seen! Totally not trying to exclude it. I was just wondering about the other states because I am probably moving to one of the three. I've seen quite a big share of really critical comments about each of those states being unwelcoming on this website (mainly MA and RI), and some really positive ones too, so that's why I asked for comparisons... comments seem polarized on each
If you are going to be a college student, then you will be fine anywhere. Your fellow students will be friendly and there will be lots of mixers for you to meet others at.
Also, in most college areas, there will always be local permanent residents who aren't that thrilled with the invading hordes of college students into their neighborhoods, but so what? Just hang out with your fellow students and you will feel welcomed enough.
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
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Originally Posted by Ella1234
I'm looking at schools in those three states. It wasn't intended to post in the New Hampshire forum... I added a thread off another post about New England and it ended up here. I'm new to the site so that seemed to be the only way to post and there doesn't seem to be a way to change it now.. is there? Anyway, New Hampshire seems beautiful from all pictures I've seen! Totally not trying to exclude it. I was just wondering about the other states because I am probably moving to one of the three. I've seen quite a big share of really critical comments about each of those states being unwelcoming on this website (mainly MA and RI), and some really positive ones too, so that's why I asked for comparisons... comments seem polarized on each
Well as folks from the Granite State are quick to point out, northern and southern New England are two different animals and they feel pretty strongly about that. It gets embellished at times, they are small states but some people in NH live right over the border from Mass, and they might even be employed in Mass and they will talk as if the NH/Mass border were like East and West Berlin. It's cute in a way, and I know this first hand as I grew up in a small town on the North Shore of Mass, and my parents always shopped in NH as there's no sales tax up there. But realistically I see a lot more cultural contrasts between northern and southern California or different parts of Florida or Washington state than I do Massachusetts and New Hampshire. Add to that the whole American urban/rural divide and you get the idea.
I wouldn't be overly worried about being unwelcomed, and if you ever did encounter that, then it wouldn't be worth any of your time to dwell on it. Just make sure you don't complain about its flaws too much around the locals and you'll be fine (like anyplace). I've met many successful transplants living happy lives in New England. It's not for everyone, you might get the cold shoulder or you might meet some very genuine people. It just depends on your perception of the place.
As someone who moved there two years ago, I can tell you that Rhode Island is not at all unwelcoming. I've made more friends here in two years than I made in New York City in 14 -- seriously! People here can be blunt, but they're generally not going to say blunt things about you to your face -- they're just opinionated. I've found them to be quite friendly. Strangers smile at each other all the time. They're not suspicious of small talk, either -- that may be more of a small-town Northern New England thing. It's probably more unusual to strike up a conversation with a stranger than in some parts of the country, but it's hardly unheard of.
Probably the biggest social difference I've noticed between here and other places is that people are a little reluctant to talk about their personal lives, and there's a general feeling that you shouldn't ask too many probing questions. I always tended not to do that, so that was an easy adjustment for me.
As someone who moved there two years ago, I can tell you that Rhode Island is not at all unwelcoming. I've made more friends here in two years than I made in New York City in 14 -- seriously! People here can be blunt, but they're generally not going to say blunt things about you to your face -- they're just opinionated. I've found them to be quite friendly. Strangers smile at each other all the time. They're not suspicious of small talk, either -- that may be more of a small-town Northern New England thing. It's probably more unusual to strike up a conversation with a stranger than in some parts of the country, but it's hardly unheard of.
Probably the biggest social difference I've noticed between here and other places is that people are a little reluctant to talk about their personal lives, and there's a general feeling that you shouldn't ask too many probing questions. I always tended not to do that, so that was an easy adjustment for me.
Good to know...I am assuming people in New England probably smile more than in NYC. NYC is a fascinating place too but I am guessing hard to live in sometimes. But I've heard that in New England people tend to think you're flirting or can be suspicious if you smile at them. Good to know that's not necessarily the case
I'm an older student and although I guess school would be ok no matter where I go, if I settle down for longer after, I wanted to know how how outsiders and introverts are perceived in general. Sometimes college towns can have big divides between student culture and how locals perceive the students who have relocated or settle. There can be a difference between being introverted and reserved... people can be super extroverted with the small talk but reserved about talking about deeper or personal topics or making friends with people they haven't know their whole lives. I've heard too that people can appear friendly with the small talk but be suspicious if you're just a quiet person in general and can become opinionated about you if you're not super into going to the local sports, bars, happenings, etc all the time or if you try to talk more deeply about the whys behind opinions or about personal/deeper issues, which sort of matches up with your impressions but that's good it sounds like you can make long-lasting friends even if you weren't born and raised there. Good to know about individual states too
I grew up in Connecticut, and went to college in Massachusetts, my two cents.
People in New England, as others have said, have a natural reserve, which was fine for me growing up as an introvert. What this means is it's usually considered rude (or at least a bit odd) to walk up to a stranger and strike up casual conversation. Indeed, when I traveled outside of New England it took me years to get rid of my "natural guard" - to stop presuming that every stranger who came up to me was either crazy, panhandling, or some missionary, because under normal circumstances, those were the only people who would talk to you.
That isn't to say it's impossible to make friends in New England. But people tend to be wary about talking to strangers without invitation because they don't want to be seen as a bother. If you want to meet people, you wait for a mutual friend to introduce you, or you put yourself into a social situation where meeting people is actually expected, like a class or club. In the internet era, this is all much easier with MeetUps and the like.
People in New England also tend to be fairly blunt, although not as blunt as say New Yorkers. Still, unlike say a place like the South or parts of the Midwest, where people will be superficially friendly while being passive aggressive, New Englanders are much more likely to just say what is on their mind once they know you. There are exceptions though - natural-born Yankees really don't like arguing about politics or religion at all, which is part of the reason evangelicals go over so badly in that part of the country.
I grew up in Brooklyn and moved to Chicago after graduation for a job. Immediately I felt the overt racism and bigotry of Chicago but as fate would have it found a very friendly, progressive area of Chicago called Lakeview where I lived quite easily for 40 years.
I recently moved back with my wife to Metro NYC area to the city of Stamford. People keep to themselves, the area is bland, and it is expected that a new arrival fit in. Individuality is not encouraged. Reminds me of any urban suburb with much, much higher taxes.
The people I meet who are willing to talk usually speak of the general blandness and are looking for v ways to make their life a bit more interesting. All usually are in transition to "another place", this making the population self selecting. If you want a house where you will be left alone to your yard this area is perfect for you.
I grew up in Brooklyn and moved to Chicago after graduation for a job. Immediately I felt the overt racism and bigotry of Chicago but as fate would have it found a very friendly, progressive area of Chicago called Lakeview where I lived quite easily for 40 years.
I recently moved back with my wife to Metro NYC area to the city of Stamford. People keep to themselves, the area is bland, and it is expected that a new arrival fit in. Individuality is not encouraged. Reminds me of any urban suburb with much, much higher taxes.
The people I meet who are willing to talk usually speak of the general blandness and are looking for v ways to make their life a bit more interesting. All usually are in transition to "another place", this making the population self selecting. If you want a house where you will be left alone to your yard this area is perfect for you.
Most unwelcoming, even forbidding, but only because of climate.
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It's cute in a way, and I know this first hand as I grew up in a small town on the North Shore of Mass, and my parents always shopped in NH as there's no sales tax up there. But realistically I see a lot more cultural contrasts between northern and southern California or different parts of Florida or Washington state than I do Massachusetts and New Hampshire. Add to that the whole American urban/rural divide and you get the idea. 
