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Old 03-17-2016, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA (Morningside)
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I have noticed that one of the cultural things which varies pretty dramatically in the U.S. from region to region is whether or not people make causal conversation with strangers.

Growing up mostly in New England (as I was), you are impressed upon the idea that it's intrusive and rude to speak to someone who is minding their own business unless you have some pressing reason to do so. There are appropriate times to speak to someone (such as when being introduced by a mutual friend, or if you have to conduct business with them) but just going up to a random person and starting conversation simply isn't done. If a stranger does talk to you, it's generally safe to presume they are asking you for money, proselytizing, or just crazy.

As I got older and traveled around the country more, the more gregarious nature of people elsewhere (particularly in the Midwest and South) really took getting used to. I realized I had a natural "guard" up when people talked to me, because I presumed that any stranger who was shooting the **** had some ulterior motive (such as looking for money, or to save my soul, as mentioned above). The idea that a stranger would just make conversation for the hell of it was mind-blowing. People from other parts of the country have similarly been shocked when I've told them it's generally considered to be rude to speak to someone you don't know in New England.

Anyway, I'd be interested to hear the impressions from other people across the country on this.
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Old 03-17-2016, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
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Generally in Minnesota, strangers won't talk to you if you're waiting in line, relaxing in the park, or just minding your own business in general. People here still harbor a bit of the classic Scandinavian stoicism and reservedness and usually don't want to waste their time making smalltalk with randos. Consequently, strangers passing each other on the street usually won't acknowledge each other as doing so would be awkward, since Minnesotans are almost always ruthlessly polite and will feel obligated to say "hi" in return, which just makes things uncomfortable for both parties.

When hiking or doing something recreational however, it's customary to say "hi" when you cross paths with a person/people, otherwise it's considered rude and a subtle form of "F you". I guess it's just more of a faux pas not to acknowledge a person when you encounter them in the wilderness.

One thing I noticed when I was spending time in Orlando last fall visiting cousins is that cashiers EVERYWHERE want to make smalltalk with every single customer that goes through their line. It didn't matter if I was at Target, ordering a sandwich at Subway, or buying groceries at Publix. People didn't seem to care that it would sometimes take an extra couple of minutes or more to get through checkout due to the chit-chat, and they actually seemed to enjoy it. Maddening! In Minnesota, most people just want to get in, make their purchases, and get out as quickly as possible without being bothered. Customer service people will never ask you what your plans are for the day, which I find excessively intrusive. As if you care what I'm doing today!
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Old 03-17-2016, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,824 posts, read 29,786,234 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eschaton View Post
Anyway, I'd be interested to hear the impressions from other people across the country on this.
Here in Denver, it is pretty rare to converse with strangers. It happens every now and then, but not nearly as often as I'd be comfortable with. I really find people to "be into their own thing" here.

In Spokane, WA, you talk to strangers all the time. Randoms can and do talk to you all the time; I actually liked it. I found it to be a pretty open place, socially.

In metro Seattle, it is customary to wave and say good morning/afternoon to nearly every one you pass by in an non-urban environment, like it's weird if you don't.

In Southern CA, I think people acknowledge each other's existence at best, it's easier to chit-chat in urban environments if you're certain the other person/people speaks your language.

In Chicago, it's extremely easy to converse with strangers, they will make comments about you/what you're doing even if you're not engaging them yet. I didn't mind this either.
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Old 03-17-2016, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifat View Post
One thing I noticed when I was spending time in Orlando last fall visiting cousins is that cashiers EVERYWHERE want to make smalltalk with every single customer that goes through their line. It didn't matter if I was at Target, ordering a sandwich at Subway, or buying groceries at Publix. People didn't seem to care that it would sometimes take an extra couple of minutes or more to get through checkout due to the chit-chat, and they actually seemed to enjoy it. Maddening!
Dang, that's^ cool.
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Old 03-17-2016, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Cleveland and Columbus OH
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In Boston, people have their heads down in their phone AT ALL TIMES in public. God forbid you make eye contact with a scary stranger under any circumstance, let alone voluntarily say something to them.

I'm not even a super outgoing person, but I really can't stand riding the bus in this city. People are always connected to others who are not present, and disconnected from those who are present, even my friends are like this to a degree. I can't remember the last time I hung out with any friend here who didn't immediately put their phone on the table, having it visible at all times.
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Old 03-17-2016, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Florida
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It's not common in Florida to small talk, and I'm shocked someone said Orlando because that city is overwhelmingly composed of northeastern and Latin American transplants and their families. And even the Latin community there often has roots in the northeast as well. I didn't notice that when I lived there.

Floridians can fake chit chat really, really well because most of us have worked in hospitality and had to kiss ass for a tip at some point in our lives. The backlash to that is that we don't like to talk to anyone unless it is beneficial to us. I get annoyed when people bother me to chit chat in public or at work. And if they get too nosy, I'll tell them so. Had to that all the time when I lived in Atlanta.
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Old 03-17-2016, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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I second what David says about Denver. I do find people a little more chatty in line at the post office, etc. I think the clerks in the grocery stores are supposed to engage you, ask you how you are.

In Pittsburgh and Albany, NY, people are fairly chatty in the stores and other public places. Someone will ask you your opinion of the clothes they're trying on and the like.

Last edited by Katarina Witt; 03-17-2016 at 10:37 AM..
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Old 03-17-2016, 10:36 AM
 
Location: california
7,287 posts, read 6,862,252 times
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Raised in California I could have written the op's comments from the reverse .
When I was a teen I lived at Big Bear Lake Calif. which is a resort town, visited by people from all over the world .So I got quite accustomed to meeting people freely and naturally friendly .
After I graduated High School I hitch hiked to Lawrence Mass. and it was a complete culture shock . No one would look at you and if you said any thing they assumed you were trying to sell them something or a con game off some sort .
And I did meet a few con artists along the way as well.
After a month of this I went back home, glad to be with people again .
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Old 03-17-2016, 12:51 PM
 
1,592 posts, read 1,200,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eschaton View Post
If a stranger does talk to you, it's generally safe to presume they are asking you for money, proselytizing, or just crazy.
It's like this in Rochester, NY and other parts of Western NY near urban centers. In the country it's not as pronounced.

Most people stay within their social circles of friends, family and co-workers. If somebody ventures outside of these circles, we often make the same presumptions - this person wants something or is up to something. Of course we have exceptions where you have contact, but a clear purpose exists. You are meeting because of church, school, college, gym, etc.
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Old 03-17-2016, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Eastern Tennessee
4,334 posts, read 4,277,323 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifat View Post
Generally in Minnesota, strangers won't talk to you if you're waiting in line, relaxing in the park, or just minding your own business in general. People here still harbor a bit of the classic Scandinavian stoicism and reservedness and usually don't want to waste their time making smalltalk with randos. Consequently, strangers passing each other on the street usually won't acknowledge each other as doing so would be awkward, since Minnesotans are almost always ruthlessly polite and will feel obligated to say "hi" in return, which just makes things uncomfortable for both parties.

When hiking or doing something recreational however, it's customary to say "hi" when you cross paths with a person/people, otherwise it's considered rude and a subtle form of "F you". I guess it's just more of a faux pas not to acknowledge a person when you encounter them in the wilderness.

One thing I noticed when I was spending time in Orlando last fall visiting cousins is that cashiers EVERYWHERE want to make smalltalk with every single customer that goes through their line. It didn't matter if I was at Target, ordering a sandwich at Subway, or buying groceries at Publix. People didn't seem to care that it would sometimes take an extra couple of minutes or more to get through checkout due to the chit-chat, and they actually seemed to enjoy it. Maddening! In Minnesota, most people just want to get in, make their purchases, and get out as quickly as possible without being bothered. Customer service people will never ask you what your plans are for the day, which I find excessively intrusive. As if you care what I'm doing today!
They do the same d@@@ thing here in Pensacola. There may be 5 people waiting in line to check out but the cashier keeps yapping small talk and asking totally unnecessary questions. I'm from Oklahoma where people are pretty friendly but I never noticed this type of behavior there.
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