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Yeah, Atlanta is a strange city sometimes. One of my closest friends is black, has lived here her entire life and before she met me, she had never been to a 'white' person's house. She's had several white acquaintances, but definitely not anyone she'd count as friend. Even just as friends, people definitely side eye us all the time. We've received a lot of questions wondering why we're even friends. I've had an interracial relationship here and it was pretty difficult.
I'd be reluctant to take advice from those who have never actually been in an interracial relationship. It's easy to say that you know an interracial couple and they don't have any issues, but often you probably don't know the true story. Unless they are your closest confidants and you've had deep, meaningful conversations about race with them, you just really don't know. I don't get into race discussions with everyone I know, even when directly asked.
So, as someone who has been in interracial relationships I'll chime in. For best bang for your dollar and better race relationships, I'll agree with several others and suggest Texas. Now, the political climate in Texas can be stomach churning, but in terms of navigating race and interracial relationships, several of the cities can be comfortable. Houston would be top choice, after that San Antonio. You're going to experience some intense racial conflicts outside of these cities, especially in East Texas where being brown in many of the small towns can be dangerous. But staying in the cities will be fine.
Outside of the south and the Northwest and with some higher COL, the Northeast will be your next best bet. You can check out some of the smaller cities first. Pittsburgh over Philadelphia, Worcester or even Springfield over Boston, etc. Another option might actually be Cleveland and to a lesser extent Columbus. I don't have personal experience there but do have a close friend with whom I have many deep conversations about race and she has been pleasantly pleased with things in these two Ohio cities with her interracial marriage.
On a final note, if you must be a religious theist and spend a lot of time socializing through church, you might consider more progressive sects. They tend to have a better educated congregation and that can help mitigate the bigotry you experience outside your religious social groups.
I have to cry foul here. While I do understand why Texas has this reputation, the idea that non-whites are only safe and happy in the larger cities is far from the truth. East Texas definitely still has its fair share of old school, southern-style racism but it is not a mine field for black folks, who actually make up a significant portion of the population. You'll see more interracial couples there than you would assume.
I agree that the big cities are your best bet, but they aren't your only option.
I know I am going to get a lot of heat for this politically incorrect comment but it is true.
The major reason that OP is facing so much animosity in Atlanta is because the truth is, Atlanta isn't exactly the best city in the south if you like white girls, especially of the blonde variety. The white population in Atlanta is not that large, the racist history is still there, and Atlanta is known more for having attractive black women as opposed to attractive white women.
Even though there are attractive blondes in the city, they tend to run in very tight knit cliques, usually former Greek Life from college or country club types. I've also noticed that Georgia guys are practically obsessed with blonde women and pounce whenever one is single. I have talked to blonde women from other states and countries who stayed in Atlanta and felt very vulnerable, said that men there were a lot sleazier and came on much more strong than men in other cities. Almost all of these women had stalkers who were somewhat aggressive, as they claim.
I know one woman from the upper midwest who was relatively average looking in her area full of European heritage groups where blonde hair is common (German and Scandinavian). When she moved down to Atlanta, guys were fighting to be with her so she simply picked the wealthier and higher quality guys in the city who were desperate to be with her.
So along comes OP who is engaged to this blonde beauty and the guys in Atlanta cannot rationalize it. How is it that some foreigner, who they have seen themselves above their whole lives, is getting the exact type of woman they daydream about?
Now in other cities like Nashville for example, the hot blonde types are in abundance so the thirst and frustration isn't really there. I noticed that in Nashville, there were so many of these kinds of women that guys could care less if one was dating an Asian, black, or brown guy. In Atlanta, the women with that kind of look are a lot less common so the competition is more stiff (pun not intended), hence the hostility OP is facing.
This could be true. through the years, maybe Georgia whites have figured out that they have to "coexist" and blend with blacks, but screw the other minorities?
Atlanta is the capital of the south, and maybe most of its residents want to uphold that? I will say, I don't think the other southern states are any more tolerant. I live in DC and that's close enough to the south for me.
Reading those two threads and this one. All three are humble brags "I'm a good looking Indian" dating a "good looking blond haired, blue eyed white woman." Maybe these are fake?
I find so much of this thread odd as I have been all over this state and have marveled personally at how much interracial dating I have seen in recent years.
My best friend since high school is Bajan-American and his wife is German.
Another friend is from Caucasian from Portland and his wife is African American from New Orleans.They have twokids and they have had no issues living in Alpharetta.
Another close friend who is Indian American who grew up in Alabama is engaged to a white girl who is in Grad school in Athens and he lives here.
I am black and have other friends in interracial relationships all over Atlanta an we all hang out and not once from any of them have they mentioned anything like the OP or others have said.
Its completely silly to think that one state over from another that attitudes somehow will be so drastictly different (outside of a major city like Atlanta).
Certainly not a smaller city like Charleston which by every metric of fact is more segregated
I find so much of this thread odd as I have been all over this state and have marveled personally at how much interracial dating I have seen in recent years.
My best friend since high school is Bajan-American and his wife is German.
Another friend is from Caucasian from Portland and his wife is African American from New Orleans.They have twokids and they have had no issues living in Alpharetta.
Another close friend who is Indian American who grew up in Alabama is engaged to a white girl who is in Grad school in Athens and he lives here.
I am black and have other friends in interracial relationships all over Atlanta an we all hang out and not once from any of them have they mentioned anything like the OP or others have said.
Its completely silly to think that one state over from another that attitudes somehow will be so drastictly different (outside of a major city like Atlanta).
Certainly not a smaller city like Charleston which by every metric of fact is more segregated
I think black/white dating is accepted and common in the south. Begrudging or not.
You know OP, when I read the title of your post, I thought "ok, another whiny guy who thinks people give a crap about interracial dating." I was wrong. I believe you and owe you an apology and I'm pretty sad. I wouldn't think this is common in Atlanta as it's a huge city that's pretty diverse. I'm sure if you were black the dude wouldn't have said anything though. South gonna south.
The south has the highest incidence of interracial marriage and the highest incidence of marriage between white and black folks (for lack of better terminology).
I have to cry foul here. While I do understand why Texas has this reputation, the idea that non-whites are only safe and happy in the larger cities is far from the truth. East Texas definitely still has its fair share of old school, southern-style racism but it is not a mine field for black folks, who actually make up a significant portion of the population. You'll see more interracial couples there than you would assume.
I agree that the big cities are your best bet, but they aren't your only option.
Right on. I raised my four biracial kids as a single mom right smack dab in the middle of East Texas, in a midsize town, in the 90s and early 2000s without any significant issues. When they got older, they dated who they wanted to - and so did I. I eventually remarried with no problem - a white guy from a small East Texas town, who loves and accepts my kids and their multicolored kids and spouses like they are his own "blood." My kids are all grown now and all but one is married - and their spouses are all over the DNA map! And no one gives a rat's arse around here.
I did have a problem with my future father in law when my husband and I got engaged, who was very old and very old school. He told me we would have "problems" and that folks around here didn't put up with that sort of thing. I said that was odd since I'd been living here for fifteen years and no one seemed to have a problem with it except him - and I was simply going to ignore that. I also told him that he was going to love me to pieces one day. And he did. But his initial reaction was that old school prejudice that can happen anywhere. It didn't slow my stride one bit.
And nothing "happened." Never has and I doubt it ever will.
I had one issue when I was registering my youngest in school and the school receptionist tried to make me check ONLY one box for his race. Good luck with that. I refused to check just one box, and left the section blank. She called me back up to the desk in front of about ten people and said loudly, "You have to pick one race." I just said, "No I don't," and didn't do it. What was she going to do - hate me? Burn a cross in my front yard? I don't think so.
It was years later when my son told me what a huge impression that made on him. He was very proud of me then.
One time when my oldest daughter was in junior high, a guy in her class liked her and his mommy told him he couldn't date her because she was brown and he wasn't. LOL, I had news for him - he couldn't date her anyway, because she was 14! My daughter was pretty put out with him but considering she had guys lined up wanting to be her boyfriend, it didn't bother her for long.
Oh, and one time when I FIRST moved here and we were living in a sort of crappy neighborhood because it was the first home I bought and it was all I could afford, I had some white trash neighbor get mad at me because HER son hit my son (accidentally) in the forehead with a baseball bat and my son needed stitches and I asked if she would pay 1/2 the ER deductible. She didn't want to do that and told me to keep my _____ kid out of her yard. So I took her to small claims court where she had to admit that she said that and that her son did cause the injury, and she had to pay me. It didn't go well with her in front of a jury when she admitted that she called my little six year old boy that name. I could see the looks of disgust on every face - of every color. They were literally out of the room for about ten minutes max!
So I guess in twenty five years I've had four negative experiences regarding race. Two were totally insignificant, one was interesting because it involved my future father in law (he and I were very close within just a couple of years by the way) and one was significant and "right" won via a jury of my peers, most of whom were as white as the driven snow.
It just hasn't been a big enough issue to even think about except in passing about once every ten years or so. I built a successful professional career here and have always had a wide circle of friends and good neighbors. My kids and I were happy living here together. Now they're grown and are none the worse for growing up in east Texas.
This could be true. through the years, maybe Georgia whites have figured out that they have to "coexist" and blend with blacks, but screw the other minorities?
Atlanta is the capital of the south, and maybe most of its residents want to uphold that? I will say, I don't think the other southern states are any more tolerant. I live in DC and that's close enough to the south for me.
There simply AREN'T many other minorities in Georgia, for starters. So I doubt that "Georgia whites" are thinking, "Screw other minorities." They're probably not even thinking about other minorities.
There simply AREN'T many other minorities in Georgia, for starters. So I doubt that "Georgia whites" are thinking, "Screw other minorities." They're probably not even thinking about other minorities.
Have you ever lived in any southern states?
I was pretty much the only Chinese guy in my grade through most of my school years. Grew up in south texas, which is actually fitting. would there be issues of Mexican/white dating? No. Atlanta has a lot of blacks, so of course it is super common. It isn't because whites in Atlanta are more tolerant to blacks, the acceptance is two pronged: 1. numbers. There are a ton of black people there. Why pick a fight with a near majority group. There aren't a lot of other races in Atlanta, like you stated. 2. history. Whites and blacks have a very long (yes at some point rough) history. They're at a state of acceptance.
Of course, I'm guessing years of recent conflict with the middle east haven't helped. It's just the way it is.
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