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Old 03-08-2017, 02:58 PM
 
67 posts, read 102,141 times
Reputation: 36

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So, I am really struggling with where to move. I work remotely, and for the past 18 months I have been a nomad, just traveling and enjoying life. I'm a 35 year old male and want to "plant roots". I've considered:

- Cute mountain towns like Boulder, CO and Bend, OR for the quality of outdoor activities.
- Wilmington, NC where many of my friends are.
- Chicago where my family is.
- San Diego where I last lived and love the weather.

So many different options and for such different reasons.

A major criteria for me will be a good dating scene of women in their late 20's early 30's. That most likely removes small population/resort towns? Also important to me are things to do, weather, cost of living, quality of life, outdoor activities, restaurants, crime, traffic etc.

I have been deliberating on this for almost 6 months now and its driving me insane. Any tips on how to decide? I'll be moving solo, and not for work, so one would think that makes it easier, but I feel it makes it harder haha.
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Old 03-08-2017, 11:39 PM
 
219 posts, read 229,677 times
Reputation: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by verdegallardo View Post
So, I am really struggling with where to move. I work remotely, and for the past 18 months I have been a nomad, just traveling and enjoying life. I'm a 35 year old male and want to "plant roots". I've considered:

- Cute mountain towns like Boulder, CO and Bend, OR for the quality of outdoor activities.
- Wilmington, NC where many of my friends are.
- Chicago where my family is.
- San Diego where I last lived and love the weather.

So many different options and for such different reasons.

A major criteria for me will be a good dating scene of women in their late 20's early 30's. That most likely removes small population/resort towns? Also important to me are things to do, weather, cost of living, quality of life, outdoor activities, restaurants, crime, traffic etc.

I have been deliberating on this for almost 6 months now and its driving me insane. Any tips on how to decide? I'll be moving solo, and not for work, so one would think that makes it easier, but I feel it makes it harder haha.
Is there a raeson you left San Diego? Is San Diego not a good place to meet women?
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Old 03-09-2017, 05:46 AM
 
22,470 posts, read 33,342,717 times
Reputation: 21979
Quote:
Originally Posted by verdegallardo View Post
So, I am really struggling with where to move. I work remotely, and for the past 18 months I have been a nomad, just traveling and enjoying life. I'm a 35 year old male and want to "plant roots". I've considered:

- Cute mountain towns like Boulder, CO and Bend, OR for the quality of outdoor activities.
- Wilmington, NC where many of my friends are.
- Chicago where my family is.
- San Diego where I last lived and love the weather.

So many different options and for such different reasons.

A major criteria for me will be a good dating scene of women in their late 20's early 30's. That most likely removes small population/resort towns? Also important to me are things to do, weather, cost of living, quality of life, outdoor activities, restaurants, crime, traffic etc.

I have been deliberating on this for almost 6 months now and its driving me insane. Any tips on how to decide? I'll be moving solo, and not for work, so one would think that makes it easier, but I feel it makes it harder haha.
You're experiencing what's known as City-Data as "analysis paralysis". The process shouldn't be that overwhelming and at the risk of sounding overly simplistic, when in doubt go with your heart. I will say at the age of 35 and being in that stage of life, closer proximity to aging parents is something to not take lightly if you're at all close as many (including myself) regret not being nearby in those "golden years...and if you should get married/have kids it's important to have that relationship. I guess what I'm saying is to consider Chicago very heavily. Good luck!
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Old 03-09-2017, 06:23 AM
Status: "Humanity is interesting now a days." (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: Kentucky
662 posts, read 320,212 times
Reputation: 921
Quote:
Originally Posted by verdegallardo View Post
So, I am really struggling with where to move. I work remotely, and for the past 18 months I have been a nomad, just traveling and enjoying life. I'm a 35 year old male and want to "plant roots". I've considered:

- Cute mountain towns like Boulder, CO and Bend, OR for the quality of outdoor activities.
- Wilmington, NC where many of my friends are.
- Chicago where my family is.
- San Diego where I last lived and love the weather.

So many different options and for such different reasons.

A major criteria for me will be a good dating scene of women in their late 20's early 30's. That most likely removes small population/resort towns? Also important to me are things to do, weather, cost of living, quality of life, outdoor activities, restaurants, crime, traffic etc.

I have been deliberating on this for almost 6 months now and its driving me insane. Any tips on how to decide? I'll be moving solo, and not for work, so one would think that makes it easier, but I feel it makes it harder haha.

You have to first decide what are the "dealbreaker" factors for you, what factors would you like to be favorable but you can live with if they aren't, and what factors don't matter as much. Then I would eliminate places based off of the dealbreaker factors, for example, if having a lot of single women in their late 20's-early 30's is a dealbreaker factor then that would eliminate many rural areas (especially in the Midwest and South). Once you do that you can also start to ask yourself questions like, Would I like to live in "City A" which has a great dating scene, but the cost of living and weather are unfavorable? Would I like to live in "City B" that has a decent but not great dating scene, but the cost of living and weather are favorable?
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis (St. Louis Park)
5,991 posts, read 8,804,001 times
Reputation: 4315
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
You're experiencing what's known as City-Data as "analysis paralysis". The process shouldn't be that overwhelming and at the risk of sounding overly simplistic, when in doubt go with your heart. I will say at the age of 35 and being in that stage of life, closer proximity to aging parents is something to not take lightly if you're at all close as many (including myself) regret not being nearby in those "golden years...and if you should get married/have kids it's important to have that relationship. I guess what I'm saying is to consider Chicago very heavily. Good luck!
That's really good advice!

I'll take a stab at analyzing your situation by your key preferences and what I think would be the best cities for each:

Family/Friends: Chicago, Wilmington, or cities nearby (Madison, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Charleston)
Dating Scene/Women: any top-50 city will do
Weather: San Diego, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Miami, Tampa, Orlando, Denver
Cost of Living: Midwest (Chicago, Minneapolis, Detroit, Cleveland, St. Louis, Cincy, Columbus, Indy, KC, Milwaukee, Madison, Pittsburgh, Grand Rapids) and South (Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Charlotte, Nashville, Memphis, Austin, San Antonio, New Orleans, Tampa, Orlando)
Quality of Living: San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, Minneapolis, DC, NYC, Boston, Portland, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Philly, SLC, San Diego, Los Angeles
Outdoorsy: Denver, Seattle, Portland, SLC, San Diego, Asheville, Minneapolis, Phoenix, Sacramento, Duluth
Food/Restaurants: NYC, San Francisco, Chicago, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Houston, Los Angeles
Lower Crime: San Diego, Seattle, Denver, Minneapolis, Madison, SLC, Portland
Lower Traffic: Cleveland, Knoxville, Indy, KC, Omaha, Richmond, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Cincy


Just by city count, the cities that popped up the most (without weighting preferences) would be Chicago (4), Denver (4), Minneapolis (4), and San Diego (4), and you could make a strong case for several others if you add some cities to certain categories, depending on your personal preferences (e.g. you may find Seattle or Houston's weather more ideal than I do, or you may add Charleston and Seattle to the list of cities with good food). Others mentioned deal-breakers as well (e.g. maybe Minneapolis' and Chicago's winters are too cold for your tastes, or maybe you would rule out any cities with seriously high crime, no matter the other benefits they might offer). Lastly, there are a number of preferences you haven't even mentioned that many people would also consider to be key/pivotal, such as: education, economy/jobs, housing values/resale, healthcare, taxes, urban/suburban, big/small city, etc.

So maybe take a look at this list or somebody else's version of this kind of list and prioritize your preferences and highlight the cities that pop up the most. But given the fact that some preferences carry more weight than others, it may be best to lean towards the places that meet your key criteria, like having family/friends.

If I missed any city please accept my apologies. FWIW I'm a 35 y/o male that's married with children, so we may have some values that are similar, but others may be very different.

Last edited by Min-Chi-Cbus; 03-09-2017 at 08:39 AM..
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Old 03-09-2017, 10:04 AM
 
67 posts, read 102,141 times
Reputation: 36
Thank you all so much!! Such great advice. I hadn't even considered making a list of deal breakers to help. Cost of living is very important. I prefer a lifestyle where I don't have to struggle and I can work less and enjoy life more and travel. A very expensive place to live makes that difficult. Sunshine is very important to me, I could never live in a rainy climate like Seattle.

I love San Diego, but one the hard things about it is the cost of living. Its very high. But the weather is spectacular and its beautiful.

Chicago negatives would be the winters, traffic, crime and lack of outdoor opportunities, but it excels at all others.

Wilmington is a like mini san diego of the south, but with a very limited dating scene (population 100kish) and very few jobs to keep young professionals there.

Boulder I don't know enough about and Bend would be long winters and a limited dating scene and small town.

Min-Chi-Cbus - thanks for making such a great break down! I'm going to play around with it!
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Old 03-09-2017, 10:11 AM
 
2,063 posts, read 1,484,721 times
Reputation: 2391
"Whatever is hip, trendy, and cool. And only a select few cities are like that blah blah blah." I'm joking, of course. But don't be surprised if you see a few posters pipe in with the same tired ad nauseum list of cities.

I think Mini-Chi-Cbus does a great job outlining and categorizing the options. Very comprehensive.

I'll also add that sometimes you "click" or fall in love with a certain neighborhood or section of a city, but not the whole city. It's important to break it down to various parts of a city as well.
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Old 03-09-2017, 04:39 PM
 
Location: South Beach and DT Raleigh
12,510 posts, read 20,100,476 times
Reputation: 12089
Quote:
Originally Posted by verdegallardo View Post
Thank you all so much!! Such great advice. I hadn't even considered making a list of deal breakers to help. Cost of living is very important. I prefer a lifestyle where I don't have to struggle and I can work less and enjoy life more and travel. A very expensive place to live makes that difficult. Sunshine is very important to me, I could never live in a rainy climate like Seattle.

I love San Diego, but one the hard things about it is the cost of living. Its very high. But the weather is spectacular and its beautiful.

Chicago negatives would be the winters, traffic, crime and lack of outdoor opportunities, but it excels at all others.

Wilmington is a like mini san diego of the south, but with a very limited dating scene (population 100kish) and very few jobs to keep young professionals there.

Boulder I don't know enough about and Bend would be long winters and a limited dating scene and small town.

Min-Chi-Cbus - thanks for making such a great break down! I'm going to play around with it!
Raleigh is a straight shot up I-40 from Wilmington and can be reached in less than 2 hours. It's rapidly growing, has a terrific economy and the Triangle has nearly 8 times the population. Weekend trips to Wilmington is a breeze to see your friends and young single people in Raleigh love going to Wilmington for the weekend.
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Old 03-10-2017, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
3,572 posts, read 2,729,763 times
Reputation: 4240
FWIW, I think average housing price in Boulder is $1 million now days. That may force you to be out in the county or other smaller local citys between Boulder and Denver like Louisville, Superior, Lafayette, or Loveland, which then become single person purgatory.
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Old 03-10-2017, 09:19 AM
 
67 posts, read 102,141 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCHP View Post
FWIW, I think average housing price in Boulder is $1 million now days. That may force you to be out in the county or other smaller local citys between Boulder and Denver like Louisville, Superior, Lafayette, or Loveland, which then become single person purgatory.
Thanks for the info! Great points.
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