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There is one thing I thought about. I don't watch BET these days. I prefer TVOne. I recently read something about how BET tried to establish a market with the Black Canadian population. Alot of Black Canadians hated BET because they felt like it didn't represent them: Vernon Clement Jones, Not Black Like Me
DC is very cliquey as hell (I think of it more as two cliques: the yuppies and the hoodlums). For example, housing (group housing specifically) is a pain to find, (expensive apartments & condos make it almost mandatory to live in a grouphome) . It's pretty much like a high school popularity contest with the "preferred roommate" already in mind. The so-called social activities to do around here usually consists of people who already know each other and NOT trying to branch out to even add in one new person. People in DC brag to the bank about the "nightlife" and "social activities" there are, but what use is it when you can't find people to do it with?
Even if SOME parts of DC are racially welcoming, the cliquish yuppies negate any positive attributes that the racially affable aspect added to it.
I know some of you, specifically those who are giving good advice, may get a bit despondent by my response, but seeing the same old s*** every day in DC and lack of social outlets or young people anywhere else is just taking a huge toll on me. More than you may think.
Honestly, I love DC and all and everything that it has to offer but this is true. This city is very clickish. Now they can be friendly out here but there is a limit. We know it's not the friendliest of areas but I find it easier to make friends in Chicago than here in DC.
Honestly, I love DC and all and everything that it has to offer but this is true. This city is very clickish. Now they can be friendly out here but there is a limit. We know it's not the friendliest of areas but I find it easier to make friends in Chicago than here in DC.
How would you compare DC and Chicago for blacks??
I've been to DC, but never to Chicago. My dad tells me that if he ever moved to a large city; it would be Chicago (he's originally from Charlottesville,VA). He hates Houston, DC, Dallas, or pretty much any large city, but he said Chicago is really nice (His word to describe the city was "def").
There's really not much of a difference between the two. Chicago blacks are more down to Earth and friendlier. They are also very aggressive type of people when pushed. DC blacks are more up pace and hurried which is obvious considering it's on the East Coast. They like to get things done and will do any and everything to do until it is done. Can be friendly at times (and it's a good portion ONCE you get to know them) but again, it's a limit.
I just find it easier to strike up a conversation with people from Chicago than people from DC.
04-07-2010, 12:10 AM
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To The_Fairfaxian
That sucks that you have to deal with double standards like that. Even though you have to deal with double standards like that from others, you should be proud for who you are. Many people have to deal with sociological pressures and social problems a lot of the time in general. For example, someone who is Male might be pressured to be a certain way, as well as someone who is Female, or someone who has a lot of money vs. someone who doesnt have a lot of money. It truly depends on the people someone interact, the type of places and neighborhoods they hang out, and which area of the world they live. People have to break free from corrupted sociological pressures like that. Because you are Black, you shouldnt feel like you cant listen to music such as Indie rock, or Electronica, dress like a hipster, speak with a certain accent, and be Vegetarian/Vegan and some examples like that.
You should feel empowered for who you are. I dealt with certain pressures similar to you but not because of race but for different reasons, such as because of the neighborhood I grew up, some of the schools I went to, and other things like that as well.
Even though it doesnt seem like it, plenty of people have to deal with sociological pressures when they grow up in general and decide the type of person they want to be. It seems like you are similar to me and not change for corrupted reasons just because some people around us might be acting a certain way.
Its interesting that you say you deal with racial pressures like that while living in DC suburban Maryland because I used to have a friend who is black that lived in DC suburban Maryland and she was into rock music, had a nose piercing, wanted a mohawk, was vegetarian/vegan, and didnt deal with racial pressures that much. Maybe a few neighborhoods away would make a big difference in that region, and if you went somewhere else in the District of Columbia Metropolitan area to live and go to school or hang out in different places, it would make a big difference.
If not, I find there to be plenty of places in America where you might not have to deal with any racial pressures like that or not have to deal with it at all.
I lived in New York City and there were many people that were black that I knew that didnt try to fit in negative stereotypes and were friends with plenty of people who felt the same way. However, the neighborhood someone was in made a HUGE difference, which could be true for the region you live in too. Park Slope Brooklyn, Alphabet City in Manhattan, the West Village in Manhattan, the Upper West Side, and the Upper East Side are the best neighborhoods for someone not having to deal with racial stereotypes and racial problems you dont like to deal with. Places such as the South Bronx, East New York in Brooklyn, Harlem in Manhattan, and Washington Heights in Manhattan are some places where you would feel the racial pressures and problems you dont want to deal with
I also believe that lots of places in the West Coast are some of the best places in the country for racial integration, lack of racism, and lack of negative types of racial pressure. But it truly depends on the neighborhood someone is in, as a few neighborhoods makes a huge difference. And the types of places you hang out makes a huge difference as well. Parts of San Francisco, Berkeley, seem like the best places on the West Coast for you. Seattle is definitely a great place when it comes to race relations. Lots of interracial couples here, and racial integration, and people not having to deal with negative racial stereotypes but like with New York and the Bay area, it depends on where you live and hang out in general. Capital Hill in Seattle and Belltown would be great options for you but certain other places in the Seattle area not as much. A few neighborhoods or blocks away can make a huge difference. The Denver, Colorado area also is another great possibility for you as well as areas of Massachusetts such as Cambridge Massachusetts and Northhampton. Honolulu Hawaii is also another great option. Im sure there are other places in America as well.
It seems like the worse places for the types of racial pressured/problems you dont want to deal with would be worse in most places in the Midwest and Great Plains(Minneapolis seems like an exception but not as good as the Bay area, Seattle, New York City, Denver, or Honolulu), Mountain West states(Parts of Colorado is a huge exception ), Applachian regions, and most places in the south(Charlotte North Carolina seems like an exception).
Over time, I feel like racial integration will get better and better over time and that has been proven in the past few decades. Hopefully this is true for the reduction of sociological corruption over time as well for sociological problems in general.
Your post:
I realize that I'm new in this forum, but I really wanted to find out about something that I have been dealing with for nearly all of my life. Just to address it, yes, I am black, but many of my characteristics (The way I talk, the music I listen to, the clothes I wear, etc.) are usually deemed as white. However, the people (blacks, whites, and every other race) of where I live and attend college (DC Suburban Maryland) has shown for the most part disdain for the way I carry myself. The blacks here usually see me as a "betrayer;" and as for many whites, Asians, and Eastern Indians, I'm usually just ostracized because of me being black. Also, I really have a real attraction for girls outside my race (white, Asian, etc.), but apparently, black girls are the ones who are able to date outside their race easier. I just wanted to know what cities, or areas within a city, would be best for a black person who doesn't resemble the stereotypical "black man" would live after graduating from college (racial acceptance; interracial dating, marriage, and families, etc.)? I’ve heard most of the West Coast is a good environment, but what specific areas anywhere would do well for a person of my classification?
That sucks that you have to deal with double standards like that. Even though you have to deal with double standards like that from others, you should be proud for who you are. Many people have to deal with sociological pressures and social problems a lot of the time in general. For example, someone who is Male might be pressured to be a certain way, as well as someone who is Female, or someone who has a lot of money vs. someone who doesnt have a lot of money. It truly depends on the people someone interact, the type of places and neighborhoods they hang out, and which area of the world they live. People have to break free from corrupted sociological pressures like that. Because you are Black, you shouldnt feel like you cant listen to music such as Indie rock, or Electronica, dress like a hipster, speak with a certain accent, and be Vegetarian/Vegan and some examples like that.
You should feel empowered for who you are. I dealt with certain pressures similar to you but not because of race but for different reasons, such as because of the neighborhood I grew up, some of the schools I went to, and other things like that as well.
Even though it doesnt seem like it, plenty of people have to deal with sociological pressures when they grow up in general and decide the type of person they want to be. It seems like you are similar to me and not change for corrupted reasons just because some people around us might be acting a certain way.
Its interesting that you say you deal with racial pressures like that while living in DC suburban Maryland because I used to have a friend who is black that lived in DC suburban Maryland and she was into rock music, had a nose piercing, wanted a mohawk, was vegetarian/vegan, and didnt deal with racial pressures that much. Maybe a few neighborhoods away would make a big difference in that region, and if you went somewhere else in the District of Columbia Metropolitan area to live and go to school or hang out in different places, it would make a big difference.
If not, I find there to be plenty of places in America where you might not have to deal with any racial pressures like that or not have to deal with it at all.
I lived in New York City and there were many people that were black that I knew that didnt try to fit in negative stereotypes and were friends with plenty of people who felt the same way. However, the neighborhood someone was in made a HUGE difference, which could be true for the region you live in too. Park Slope Brooklyn, Alphabet City in Manhattan, the West Village in Manhattan, the Upper West Side, and the Upper East Side are the best neighborhoods for someone not having to deal with racial stereotypes and racial problems you dont like to deal with. Places such as the South Bronx, East New York in Brooklyn, Harlem in Manhattan, and Washington Heights in Manhattan are some places where you would feel the racial pressures and problems you dont want to deal with
I also believe that lots of places in the West Coast are some of the best places in the country for racial integration, lack of racism, and lack of negative types of racial pressure. But it truly depends on the neighborhood someone is in, as a few neighborhoods makes a huge difference. And the types of places you hang out makes a huge difference as well. Parts of San Francisco, Berkeley, seem like the best places on the West Coast for you. Seattle is definitely a great place when it comes to race relations. Lots of interracial couples here, and racial integration, and people not having to deal with negative racial stereotypes but like with New York and the Bay area, it depends on where you live and hang out in general. Capital Hill in Seattle and Belltown would be great options for you but certain other places in the Seattle area not as much. A few neighborhoods or blocks away can make a huge difference. The Denver, Colorado area also is another great possibility for you as well as areas of Massachusetts such as Cambridge Massachusetts and Northhampton. Honolulu Hawaii is also another great option. Im sure there are other places in America as well.
It seems like the worse places for the types of racial pressured/problems you dont want to deal with would be worse in most places in the Midwest and Great Plains(Minneapolis seems like an exception but not as good as the Bay area, Seattle, New York City, Denver, or Honolulu), Mountain West states(Parts of Colorado is a huge exception ), Applachian regions, and most places in the south(Charlotte North Carolina seems like an exception).
Over time, I feel like racial integration will get better and better over time and that has been proven in the past few decades. Hopefully this is true for the reduction of sociological corruption over time as well for sociological problems in general.
Your post:
I realize that I'm new in this forum, but I really wanted to find out about something that I have been dealing with for nearly all of my life. Just to address it, yes, I am black, but many of my characteristics (The way I talk, the music I listen to, the clothes I wear, etc.) are usually deemed as white. However, the people (blacks, whites, and every other race) of where I live and attend college (DC Suburban Maryland) has shown for the most part disdain for the way I carry myself. The blacks here usually see me as a "betrayer;" and as for many whites, Asians, and Eastern Indians, I'm usually just ostracized because of me being black. Also, I really have a real attraction for girls outside my race (white, Asian, etc.), but apparently, black girls are the ones who are able to date outside their race easier. I just wanted to know what cities, or areas within a city, would be best for a black person who doesn't resemble the stereotypical "black man" would live after graduating from college (racial acceptance; interracial dating, marriage, and families, etc.)? I’ve heard most of the West Coast is a good environment, but what specific areas anywhere would do well for a person of my classification?
Is this serious? Sounds just like the OP but with a different name.
Thank you NaturalUrbanBalence for you detailed answer.
Now to answer to some of your points
Quote:
That sucks that you have to deal with double standards like that. Even though you have to deal with double standards like that from others, you should be proud for who you are. Many people have to deal with sociological pressures and social problems a lot of the time in general. For example, someone who is Male might be pressured to be a certain way, as well as someone who is Female, or someone who has a lot of money vs. someone who doesnt have a lot of money. It truly depends on the people someone interact, the type of places and neighborhoods they hang out, and which area of the world they live. People have to break free from corrupted sociological pressures like that. Because you are Black, you shouldnt feel like you cant listen to music such as Indie rock, or Electronica, dress like a hipster, speak with a certain accent, and be Vegetarian/Vegan and some examples like that.
You should feel empowered for who you are. I dealt with certain pressures similar to you but not because of race but for different reasons, such as because of the neighborhood I grew up, some of the schools I went to, and other things like that as well.
Even though it doesnt seem like it, plenty of people have to deal with sociological pressures when they grow up in general and decide the type of person they want to be. It seems like you are similar to me and not change for corrupted reasons just because some people around us might be acting a certain way.
Thanks for the encouraging words. Even though I was born in the United States, I feel that in most of the lower-income (and wannabe lower-income) black neighborhoods, there's this unspoken rule of dictatorship-like conformity where unless you conform to its standards strictly, you will face social (and in some cases, physical) retribution. I've since moved away from the most tyrannical neighborhoods, but I still have to deal with the non-blacks using that street/thuggish image they see constantly as an excuse to harbor racist attitudes.
Quote:
Its interesting that you say you deal with racial pressures like that while living in DC suburban Maryland because I used to have a friend who is black that lived in DC suburban Maryland and she was into rock music, had a nose piercing, wanted a mohawk, was vegetarian/vegan, and didnt deal with racial pressures that much. Maybe a few neighborhoods away would make a big difference in that region, and if you went somewhere else in the District of Columbia Metropolitan area to live and go to school or hang out in different places, it would make a big difference.
You're definitely right about that. As for your friend, I'm going to take a guess and say she lived somewhere in Montgomery County. The place I deal with most of the pressures I described was when I lived in Prince Georges County. If you look into Maryland, you'll notice a complete difference between the two. When I attended the University of Maryland, I tend to find that most of the least racist non-blacks and least stereotypical blacks who were from Maryland were from Montgomery County. And I'll admit that I might not have as bad of an image of the entire state if I grew up there instead of PG County.
As for DC, I'm currently residing in the city, but the neighborhood I'm in, Columbia Heights, is basically Los Angeles 1992 waiting to happen again. It's diverse, but the races definitely despise each other in very subtle ways, and that especially goes for the feeling towards blacks. And for other neighborhoods, believe me when I say there are a lot of racially segregated or racially tense places in DC like Capitol Hill, anywhere East of the Anacostia River, and most places in PG County in Maryland. There are progressive neighborhoods in the DC area, but either they're expensive (Logan Circle, Dupont Circle, Adams Morgan, parts of Arlington), the population is mostly of the older crowd of single people in their 30s (Reston, Bethesda, Alexandria), or they're designed exclusively for families and elderly people (Rockville, Silver Spring/Takoma, nearly all of Northern Virginia)
Quote:
If not, I find there to be plenty of places in America where you might not have to deal with any racial pressures like that or not have to deal with it at all.
I lived in New York City and there were many people that were black that I knew that didnt try to fit in negative stereotypes and were friends with plenty of people who felt the same way. However, the neighborhood someone was in made a HUGE difference, which could be true for the region you live in too. Park Slope Brooklyn, Alphabet City in Manhattan, the West Village in Manhattan, the Upper West Side, and the Upper East Side are the best neighborhoods for someone not having to deal with racial stereotypes and racial problems you dont like to deal with. Places such as the South Bronx, East New York in Brooklyn, Harlem in Manhattan, and Washington Heights in Manhattan are some places where you would feel the racial pressures and problems you dont want to deal with
I also believe that lots of places in the West Coast are some of the best places in the country for racial integration, lack of racism, and lack of negative types of racial pressure. But it truly depends on the neighborhood someone is in, as a few neighborhoods makes a huge difference. And the types of places you hang out makes a huge difference as well. Parts of San Francisco, Berkeley, seem like the best places on the West Coast for you. Seattle is definitely a great place when it comes to race relations. Lots of interracial couples here, and racial integration, and people not having to deal with negative racial stereotypes but like with New York and the Bay area, it depends on where you live and hang out in general. Capital Hill in Seattle and Belltown would be great options for you but certain other places in the Seattle area not as much. A few neighborhoods or blocks away can make a huge difference. The Denver, Colorado area also is another great possibility for you as well as areas of Massachusetts such as Cambridge Massachusetts and Northhampton. Honolulu Hawaii is also another great option. Im sure there are other places in America as well.
I'm ultimately aiming to live out in the Western States. Too bad California (and this country in general) had an economic collapse around the time I graduated from college. Seattle and Denver are also good choices and alternatives. Honolulu would be a lovely place if the jobs were readily available. NYC and especially Boston weren't cities I expect racial integration to be all that great (given that I now know that diversity does not instantly equal racial integration and harmony from my earlier example), but thanks nevertheless with giving me a guide to the neighborhoods I should and should not move to just in case I have to move to those places.
Quote:
It seems like the worse places for the types of racial pressured/problems you dont want to deal with would be worse in most places in the Midwest and Great Plains(Minneapolis seems like an exception but not as good as the Bay area, Seattle, New York City, Denver, or Honolulu), Mountain West states(Parts of Colorado is a huge exception ), Applachian regions, and most places in the south(Charlotte North Carolina seems like an exception).
Fortunately, I couldn't care less for living in those places you advised against. The only place I would look into within the South are the major cites in Texas (Houston and Austin to be exact).
Quote:
Over time, I feel like racial integration will get better and better over time and that has been proven in the past few decades. Hopefully this is true for the reduction of sociological corruption over time as well for sociological problems in general.
America will get there, but IMO, it's long overdue. All of this should have been happening during the 60s-80s, and for some reason, I get this hunch that the 80s & 90s were the least racist period in our time, but America went backwards with racial progress towards blacks with the rise of Street/Gangsta & Southern/Plantation Rap and the use of "political correctness" and "tolerance" as a way to hide racist feelings and attitudes.
Last edited by Do a Barrel Roll; 04-07-2010 at 09:14 AM..
I don't like her music much. Isn't asking me this stereotypical?
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