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I live in Cambridge Massachusetts, and this is a great place to live. I'm the same way as you, although I'm dominican, but some people just perceive me as black, but anyway Cambridge is a great place to live because it is so diverse and nobody cares about who you date. I date in my race(Hispanic) and outside and nobody gives a flying rat because they do it or just don't care because we all see each other as people and not a race.
" [QOUTE] The people i know accused of being OREOs don't give themselves that label, but rather other black people who don't like that those people don't conform to the mass culture. the Oreos accept their culture but are often rejected by the larger black community."
I couldn't agree more with this statement. I have dealt with the isolation all of my life. I am older than some of you guys and I'm here to tell you, it does not get any better with time. I don't completely fit with the black community or the white community. I tend to be excepted and more comfortable with the white community because I grew up in white suburbia. I've advanced in my career in a field void of other blacks. When I do encounter other blacks, it is usually black women. They definitely see me as a freak. Most black women are NOT interested in "Steve Urkel "---they want "Denzil Washington!" This is probably why my wife is not black.
Although by definition, I would be considered an OREO, I respect my african heritage. I changed my last name (slave name) to a west african name in honor of my african ancestors taking from that region into slavery. I will speak out against racial injustices. But I don't choose to focus my entire existence around my ethnicity. I don't criticize those who do. I choose to explore ALL of who I am and not just my racial marker. The world will never let me forget I am a black man. I will bear the negativity attached to this label until my death. No matter what label people choose to give me, "human being" is the only one which matters the most to me.
I put myself out into the world to experience people and environments first-hand before I make conclusions. My latest experience involves the south. I have never lived in the south. I've lived most of my life on the west coast. I grew up in the mid-west. I recently moved to Nashville. My wife and I thought it would be economical to start a family in Nashville near her parents. The coast is outrageously expensive. My wife's family are transplants too---not natives. I had my reservations about the racism. I've had experiences with it on west coast (rarely) and in my home state. But the south is quite another story.
Many of the jobs I qualify for are in the new burbs of Nashville. Predominately white, these burbs were no different than what I have lived in all my life. However, I was unpleasantly surprised on how much resistance I get from employers.
My very first interview, the interviewer flinched when she saw me and was stoned-face the entire time of the interview. I've had a life-time of recognizing racism on a person face; she was full of it. I have never had anyone look at me with such hatred. I had hoped the "New South" had made more progress in this area. Apparently not. On the coast, I would have had a job offer by now. There is no visible black middle-class here. I've been told, white southerners see me as a "yanky out-sider" trying to muscle in on their territory and change the southern way of life. Obviously, as a black male, I might as well have "criminal" tattooed on my forehead. Now, my wife is pregnant and I can't get hired to take care of my family. We will give it a few years and then we were are going to move, hopefully to Seattle.
The Black Enterprise voted nashville one of the best cities for blacks. I think it is the best city for blacks to economically survive on low wages--but not to advance. I would think for the south, North Carolina would be better for black professionals. Here in Nashville, the corporate environment is progressing; but the mentality is 30 years behind and saturated with social segregation. Have the klan traded in their bed sheets for business suits?
" Most black women are NOT interested in "Steve Urkel "---they want "Denzil Washington!"
Im black and I feel like that is so true. They dont give us the time of the day. Ive had mutual friends that know me say that some particular women (some they also personally know) were confused by me, have too much of a southern accent, "white" hobbies etc.... so I haven't got to the wife part yet. Who knows what will happen there.
I used to get pissed because of being labeled a fence sitter or not fitting in when it came to being just a human, but i just ignore it. They have the problem not me. My job is to make me happy.
My only thing about being black is that there is a stereotype that you get labeled with, like when you walk into stores with high security,sales people kinda stare at you while your browsing, but I just ignore it, Oh well what can you do but be a good example.
Hey, if you havent already moved back, I suggest metro (25 mile radius)Atlanta because thats all I know, yea i need to travel more. Cost of living isint bad yet, housing is plentiful, and many Black people are doing quite well here, racial harmony is good. People on both sides get to know you fairly quickly if your a regular and become friendly. just dont go too close to Atlanta unless you are near buckhead, or you will indirectly get the labels, for not "fitting in".
Bed sheets? Now that was funny!
Good luck to you and the OP.
Im black and I feel like that is so true. They dont give us the time of the day. Ive had mutual friends that know me say that some particular women (some they also personally know) were confused by me, have too much of a southern accent, "white" hobbies etc.... so I haven't got to the wife part yet. Who knows what will happen there.
I used to get pissed because of being labeled a fence sitter or not fitting in when it came to being just a human, but i just ignore it. They have the problem not me. My job is to make me happy.
My only thing about being black is that there is a stereotype that you get labeled with, like when you walk into stores with high security,sales people kinda stare at you while your browsing, but I just ignore it, Oh well what can you do but be a good example.
Hey, if you havent already moved back, I suggest metro (25 mile radius)Atlanta because thats all I know, yea i need to travel more. Cost of living isint bad yet, housing is plentiful, and many Black people are doing quite well here, racial harmony is good. People on both sides get to know you fairly quickly if your a regular and become friendly. just dont go too close to Atlanta unless you are near buckhead, or you will indirectly get the labels, for not "fitting in".
Bed sheets? Now that was funny!
Good luck to you and the OP.
Move to Atlanta--my husband says he has never fit in so well before, even growing up in Miami, and I love it too! (we are an interracial couple)
Move to Atlanta--my husband says he has never fit in so well before, even growing up in Miami, and I love it too! (we are an interracial couple)
I find Atlanta very overrated. I live in the metro area and have gone to Atlanta. I think it is very overrated, or at least doesn't have what I am looking for.
For some reason, my thread "GA resident thinking about different places to live after college" isn't getting any answers, so I am asking here: How do these places sound? Any insight is welcome: Seattle, Tacoma, San Francisco, Denver, Anchorage AK, Fairbanks AK, Milwaukee,WI, Mpls-St.Paul,MN, Madison,WI?
I find Atlanta somewhat overrated considering how much it is touted as 'the city" to move to.(This question does relate to what The_Fairfaxian is talking about because I am also considered a "non-stereotypical" black man and seriously considering a change in residence[after I graduate from college])
Im black and I feel like that is so true. They dont give us the time of the day. Ive had mutual friends that know me say that some particular women (some they also personally know) were confused by me, have too much of a southern accent, "white" hobbies etc.... so I haven't got to the wife part yet. Who knows what will happen there.
I used to get pissed because of being labeled a fence sitter or not fitting in when it came to being just a human, but i just ignore it. They have the problem not me. My job is to make me happy.
My only thing about being black is that there is a stereotype that you get labeled with, like when you walk into stores with high security,sales people kinda stare at you while your browsing, but I just ignore it, Oh well what can you do but be a good example.
Hey, if you havent already moved back, I suggest metro (25 mile radius)Atlanta because thats all I know, yea i need to travel more. Cost of living isint bad yet, housing is plentiful, and many Black people are doing quite well here, racial harmony is good. People on both sides get to know you fairly quickly if your a regular and become friendly. just dont go too close to Atlanta unless you are near buckhead, or you will indirectly get the labels, for not "fitting in".
Bed sheets? Now that was funny!
Good luck to you and the OP.
In the metro Atlanta area you will get stereotyped if you don't fit the "expected" mold. I should know. I live here.
I realize that I'm new in this forum, but I really wanted to find out about something that I have been dealing with for nearly all of my life. Just to address it, yes, I am black, but many of my characteristics (The way I talk, the music I listen to, the clothes I wear, etc.) are usually deemed as white. However, the people (blacks, whites, and every other race) of where I live and attend college (DC Suburban Maryland) has shown for the most part disdain for the way I carry myself. The blacks here usually see me as a "betrayer;" and as for many whites, Asians, and Eastern Indians, I'm usually just ostracized because of me being black. Also, I really have a real attraction for girls outside my race (white, Asian, etc.), but apparently, black girls are the ones who are able to date outside their race easier. I just wanted to know what cities, or areas within a city, would be best for a black person who doesn't resemble the stereotypical "black man" would live after graduating from college (racial acceptance; interracial dating, marriage, and families, etc.)? I’ve heard most of the West Coast is a good environment, but what specific areas anywhere would do well for a person of my classification?
I have heard really great things about the cities of Seattle and Portland out west. Both for their diversity and culture such as museums, opera, music and fantastic dining.
Hey bud. You don't have to go all that far. Cross the Potomac!
I grew up in Fairfax County (which I initially had assumed from your user name, you were from) and while I dislike the area for many other reasons, I will give it credit for being a very diverse and racially harmonious place. People live, work and go to school together. There is high degree of racial mixing and no one bats an eye. On any random night out at Fair Oaks Mall, I would say at least 20% of the couples are interracial, and of every possible mixture, including black men and Asian women and no one stares or cares. It's not uncommon to see black kids with dyed hair and nose rings or dressed preppy and exhibiting other "non-stereotypical" characteristics and it's fine. Do they receive comments from other blacks about selling out and such? I can't say for sure but I'd doubt it just based on the fact that blacks as a whole here are very integrated so you're unlikely to find a large group of black males in a public setting shouting vulgarities at a white guy if they see him walk past with a black girl. I find pretty much all of Northern Virginia to be extremely racially tolerant, integrated, and not so much preoccupied with racial stereotypes. There are Asian hip hop heads, white guys blasting Jay-Z from their car stereos, and black men wearing suits and driving SUVs to their jobs at brokerage firms. It partially goes hand in hand with the area's high income and education levels and you're likely to find similar tolerance in other areas across the country that have similar characteristics (Seattle, San Francisco, Minneapolis, etc.). Cross the river!
I lived in Prince William county for many years, and my high school was more than half black. I think the whole area is going to be the way he described to tell you the truth. I am white and my best friend from school used to only date black men. She was given a hard time for it on occasion. This was mostly by black women, some who think it's ok for them to date whomever they want, but didn't think it was okay for a white woman to dare date a nice, clean cut, employed, black man.
I'm a black woman who lives in Chicago (was born here too). I listen to rock and classical music (have my whole entire life). I live in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago which is known for being populated by caucasian yuppies (look it up on Google). I have had other blacks snub me for my taste (and for where i live). So, you may think that I'd be sympathetic to your post. However, I'm not. I find your post a little disturbing...lol! I think you can find black people who share your same interests, likes, dislikes, what have you, where you are now! You don't have to run to another town to get away from critics. I think that you may be snubbing your own kind because they MAY be 'too ghetto' for you. If you're walking around with your nose down to blacks who have not then what will you get in return??? I mean, let's be honest here. I grew up in the bad part of Chicago but went on to college moved to 'Lincoln Park' and eventhough I've moved on big time, my old highschool friends (who are still in the hood), are still my friends today. I will not DARE go to their homes in the hood and I've told them just that. However, they understand where I'm coming from. I don't 'diss' my own people just because they don't have those interest that I have or live the life I live. Get it???? I find it hard to believe that there are no other blacks in Fairfax that you can relate to.
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