Best major cities/metros for meeting people/making friends? (chapel, neighborhood)

[Flightoficarus87]

Hey all,

Simply put, in your experience, what places have been the easiest (and hardest) for you to meet people/make friends? Or do you fall into the "people are the same everywhere you go!" or "you get out what you put into it" camps?

This seems to be an interesting debate that pops up on more localized forum sections that I regular - so I'm curious for more national perspectives on the matter.

[kyle19125]

Easiest in my opinion are major college towns with larger universities (20K+ plus students) and town population around 50K+. You're largely not dealing with pre-established cliques of people who have known each other since grade school and a population accustomed to changing faces on a consistent basis. Examples of those I'm familiar with...Durham NC, Chapel Hill NC, Charlottesville VA, Champaign-Urbana IL and Ann Arbor MI.

[Thoreau424]

We've got many types of people, and numerous regional cultures across the US. So there is no one-fits-all answer. Also, some are drawn towards small towns, other medium and large towns.

You're best meeting places would be whatever cities are the size you like, in your similar region and culture.

[kyle19125]

Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

Many universities fall into what is referred to as the "national university" category, meaning they attract applicants from all over the US (and the world) along with postgraduate students, researchers, faculty and where applicable medical professionals working in the university medical center and other facilities. At UNC-Chapel Hill for instance the UNC faculty/staff, UNC Hospitals staff and postgraduate population is over 20K, larger than the entire undergraduate population of 19K. American big cities by contrast are no friendlier and has been proven by many worse given the anonymity involved with such large populations along with the often longer work/commute schedules leading to a lack of time for socializing. Also given the fact marriage isn't the automatic of years past with the number sitting at 50% of the population, many have figured out other avenues to make friends well past their twenties via special interest groups and other activities.

[Phil P]

Size wise, I think that living in an MSA somewhere between 10,000 and 1,000,000 would be the sweet spot. Smaller than 10,000 and a place can be clanish and everyone knows each other's business too well. Larger than 1,000,000 and it's harder establish social networks.

The reason I say that is: 1. You don't run into the same people as often, so you don't get those 'meet people you know at the grocery store' experiences. 2. Your co workers, friends, hobby partners, and family are further apart and harder to commute to and 3. Your acquaintances don't know your other acquaintances. Peoples social circles don't overlap.

For instance, at my work in downtown Denver, very few people know other co workers friends without having that co worker directly introduce them. Without that friend of a friend effect, it makes everyone more of a stranger because there's not shared relationships for introductions or conversation.

Now some people are "edge case scenarios" personality / lifestyle wise and they need a large metro to find other people like them to socialize with. But assuming you're not on the tails of the bell curve, large metros are more isolating than smaller cities. I bet the people who would say otherwise either 1. Stick to their neighborhood very much (which essentially gets you to the same place you'd be in a small city) or 2. Couldn't find a lot of people with interests similar to themselves in a smaller place, hence they are more tail end of the bell curve.

Also, I'd say that the better you match the average demographic of a city, be that political leanings, religious leanings, stage of life, family status... the easier socialization would be.

[manitopiaaa]

College town of a university without a sports team.

Basically, a city with a college that's strong on clubs and hobby groups.

If the city has a huge sports team, it probably has a huge greek life which makes it clickey.