easiest city/area for making friends (transplants, neighborhood, live in) - General U.S. - City-Data Forum

khyberpass · 03-28-2021, 10:31 AM

As the title says, which city do you find it easiest to make friends?

This isn't necessarily about the friendliest. That just means that people are nice and will chat with strangers.

I'm talking about actually meeting someone new and then going on to build a relationship with that person.

I know this is highly variable depending on the person, but I do think you can control this a bit by city.

For instance, cities that are high in transplant/expats should be easier (in my experience, DC was great), but I've also found that other transplant places like SF require some litmus testing or being into hobbies central to that city (like I'm guessing being into outdoorsy type stuff will make you more friends in Boulder or Boise).

What are other people's thoughts?

masssachoicetts · 03-28-2021, 11:07 AM

Charlotte, Nasville, Austin, Durham

mjtinmemphis · 03-28-2021, 11:09 AM

Charlotte and Raleigh Durham was great for making friends.

Chicago is as well as long as you choose the right neighborhood.

I've not had a problem making friends in St. Louis but I live in the city. I've heard from transplants that the suburbs are not as friendly to outsiders.

Memphis was horrible for making friends especially if you are from "up north", non religious or no family ties in the area.

masssachoicetts · 03-28-2021, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

Charlotte and Raleigh Durham was great for making friends.

Chicago is as well as long as you choose the right neighborhood.

I've not had a problem making friends in St. Louis but I live in the city. I've heard from transplants that the suburbs are not as friendly to outsiders.

Memphis was horrible for making friends especially if you are from "up north", non religious or no family ties in the area.

^ really like Chicago to for making friends.. everyone is friendly. But Im in Durham now, so easy to just talk to people.

jaysan89 · 03-28-2021, 01:44 PM

I've heard it is easy to make friends in the Denver, CO area which is where I am considering relocating.

annie_himself · 03-28-2021, 01:59 PM

Any transient/transplant city will be easy. Like Denver.

march2 · 03-29-2021, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

Charlotte and Raleigh Durham was great for making friends.

Chicago is as well as long as you choose the right neighborhood.

I've not had a problem making friends in St. Louis but I live in the city. I've heard from transplants that the suburbs are not as friendly to outsiders.

Memphis was horrible for making friends especially if you are from "up north", non religious or no family ties in the area.

The example with Memphis can have more to do with differences than anything else. My wife and I lived in the Boston area for a year and a half helping care for my MIL. It was a very hard area to make friends. As soon as they heard our accents and/or knew we were Christians, the demeanor changed. They weren't hostile, but were turned off (generally speaking). 98% of everyone we knew were friends of my in-laws, my wife's family, and people at the church we attended there. In terms of how easy it is to make friends, it can depend a lot on how open people are and not extreme on either end. That varies a great deal from my experience. As long as EVERYONE is live/let live, it will be easier to get to know people.

Suey123 · 03-29-2021, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by march2

My wife and I lived in the Boston area for a year and a half helping care for my MIL. It was a very hard area to make friends. As soon as they heard our accents and/or knew we were Christians, the demeanor changed. They weren't hostile, but were turned off (generally speaking).

In my experience, the Boston area was easy to make friends. But I'm not Christian or from the south.

But I think you are correct, that it is a matter of finding a place with a critical mass of people who share similar interests/values to you. And a large enough population of people from "elsewhere" so that there are people who aren't already super-settled into their friend/family groups.

Shakeesha · 03-29-2021, 04:14 PM

Minneapolis, Charlotte, Des Moines, Nashville, Raleigh, Greenville. All very friendly places.

masssachoicetts · 03-29-2021, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by march2

The example with Memphis can have more to do with differences than anything else. My wife and I lived in the Boston area for a year and a half helping care for my MIL. It was a very hard area to make friends. As soon as they heard our accents and/or knew we were Christians, the demeanor changed. They weren't hostile, but were turned off (generally speaking). 98% of everyone we knew were friends of my in-laws, my wife's family, and people at the church we attended there. In terms of how easy it is to make friends, it can depend a lot on how open people are and not extreme on either end. That varies a great deal from my experience. As long as EVERYONE is live/let live, it will be easier to get to know people.

Boston (Like New York, DC, ettc) is fast paced, open-minded and similar in political leaning.

While it is a place that helps if you grew up with friends and kept them through adulthood, making friends in the 20-35 year old range in Boston is easy. Everytime Im out in Boston I gain a new friend on snapchat and IG follower. Its not as easy as other younger liberal places like Charlotte, Raleigh, Denver, etc.. but its not hard either.

It is a very progressive area and judging by your previous anti-BLM, pro-church posts in the past, that is an easy ticket to offend the average Bostonian and then get isolated. People there work hard and a lot of people work on things in relation to that subject. Sure there are exceptions, but nobody has time for that. I do agree people in Boston are less confrontational than NYC, which is annoying because you can get ghosted whereas in NYC you know right away if someone doesn't like you or not. Boston its like guessing game at time.