Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I miss living in a diverse area. In CA I had many friends outside my race (white). It is so much more diverse there. I now live in the South. It's just so white in the particular area where I live. Kinda strange at first but I'm somewhat used to it now. People in CA have no idea what it's really like here and vice versa, unless they've lived here. I will be visiting CA sometime this month. It will be nice to see some diversity again.
I think a lot of well-intentioned southerners and midwesterners think their city is diverse because "man, we got like 3 Korean restaurants on one street and an Ethiopian place." That's diverse....for your city. In a lot of parts of California, it's such a hodge podge that it's not even worth pointing out. We don't have one giant H mart, we have like 15. Just part of the neighborhood. It's not "that Asian family on the corner" like it is in Tyler, it's not a novelty. It's "that family."
When I lived in Suburban Houston not only we’re my friends of different races, their was never a point where I had friends that were majority one race or even close for me to say an obvious plurality. I went to a hyper-diverse school (Nearly 25% of the 4 major races with Black folks being the largest when I graduated but White folks being one of the largest when I entered) and I could say the only thing I lacked in High School was white friends but that was more of a result of the school being 5-10% non-middle Eastern white. My biggest friend group was Asian, Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern and a few white folks. It also depended on what I was doing, my soccer circle was heavily Hispanic plowed up by Black and a smattering of White and Asian folks.
At my College several of my close friends are white now, but If I had an order it would be Asian, White, Hispanic, Black, Mixed Race in that order with a large amount of each. The number of middle eastern people has shrunk dramatically but then again, I went to a school in HS with a massive middle eastern population for Houston/U.S schools. If we were talking folks I know, I’m acquaintances with a massive amount of black people, and they would shoot to the top, of that list, but black friends it’s definitely on the smaller side.
If I had to somehow label my 10 “closest” friends in Austin, I would say 4 Asian friends, 3 Hispanic friends, 3 White friends. This isn’t including black folks that are in any way shape or form related to me.
Overall I’ve found it easily to have friends of a diverse group. But if you are in an area that’s legitimately lacking of 1 group, Central Austin’s black population… or my High School’s general lack of a non-Hispanic, non-middle Eastern white population it’s definitely hard to do so without a concerted effort to make friends of that race.
When I lived in Suburban Houston not only we’re my friends of different races, their was never a point where I had friends that were majority one race or even close for me to say an obvious plurality. I went to a hyper-diverse school (Nearly 25% of the 4 major races with Black folks being the largest when I graduated but White folks being one of the largest when I entered) and I could say the only thing I lacked in High School was white friends but that was more of a result of the school being 5-10% non-middle Eastern white. My biggest friend group was Asian, Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern and a few white folks. It also depended on what I was doing, my soccer circle was heavily Hispanic plowed up by Black and a smattering of White and Asian folks.
At my College several of my close friends are white now, but If I had an order it would be Asian, White, Hispanic, Black, Mixed Race in that order with a large amount of each. The number of middle eastern people has shrunk dramatically but then again, I went to a school in HS with a massive middle eastern population for Houston/U.S schools. If we were talking folks I know, I’m acquaintances with a massive amount of black people, and they would shoot to the top, of that list, but black friends it’s definitely on the smaller side.
If I had to somehow label my 10 “closest” friends in Austin, I would say 4 Asian friends, 3 Hispanic friends, 3 White friends. This isn’t including black folks that are in any way shape or form related to me.
Overall I’ve found it easily to have friends of a diverse group. But if you are in an area that’s legitimately lacking of 1 group, Central Austin’s black population… or my High School’s general lack of a non-Hispanic, non-middle Eastern white population it’s definitely hard to do so without a concerted effort to make friends of that race.
Would you say the kind of easy mixing experience you had while in HS start to become uncommon as people got older? I also went to a diverse HS and college and would remember seeing social groups that are somewhat representative of the school's demographic, but it seems like you don't really see this out in the real world. If you see a large, mixed group of 30+ year old adults then chances are they're coworkers, teammates or parents at school events. By mixed I mean there was more than a couple of the minority.
This has been my own observation living in very diverse places like NYC and Houston.
I think a lot of well-intentioned southerners and midwesterners think their city is diverse because "man, we got like 3 Korean restaurants on one street and an Ethiopian place." That's diverse....for your city. In a lot of parts of California, it's such a hodge podge that it's not even worth pointing out. We don't have one giant H mart, we have like 15. Just part of the neighborhood. It's not "that Asian family on the corner" like it is in Tyler, it's not a novelty. It's "that family."
I have seen mixed friend groups even in places that are not particularly diverse, although it mostly happens at a token level, meaning there was only 1 or 2 of the minority in the group. The only time I didn't see much mixing at all was when I travelled through the Mississippi Delta. Seems like every place is either 95% white or 95% black. Not that there was any tension or unfriendliness.
Not only do I have friends outside my race, I have family outside my race and we are all better for it. Besides the food and drinks are pretty amazing.
Living in New York City, you naturally make friends of different races just because the opportunity presents itself so much more than many other cities.
Most of my friends are either White or Asian, with some Hispanic friends, but only a few Black friends. Thinking about this, the one area New York doesn't mix very well (and probably most others places too), is class/professional status. All of my friends work in professional, college-educated fields. Thinking about it now, I don't think I have any immediate friends who aren't college educated and/or work a more blue-collar job. Probably the reason most of my friends are White or Asian is because that's who tends to make up the more professional classes in New York.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,551 posts, read 81,085,957 times
Reputation: 57744
Most of our friends are white like us, but we do have some non-white friends from India. While they are darker skinned than African Americans, I don't know if they are considered another race. Our city of 65,000 is 37% Asian, most Indian. We are not likely to have Blacks as friends since they are only 1.3% here.
Would you say the kind of easy mixing experience you had while in HS start to become uncommon as people got older? I also went to a diverse HS and college and would remember seeing social groups that are somewhat representative of the school's demographic, but it seems like you don't really see this out in the real world. If you see a large, mixed group of 30+ year old adults then chances are they're coworkers, teammates or parents at school events. By mixed I mean there was more than a couple of the minority.
This has been my own observation living in very diverse places like NYC and Houston.
I think closest friends, and who you party/see out and about are two different groups. Your closest friends may be mixed, but once you go out, the friends of your closest friends might start to look one way. Your Black friends have more black friends, your white friends have more white friends, Your Hispanic friends have more Hispanic friends etc. If I went out with 20+ people I know in college, it will have a racial tilt, not because my friend group has a racial tilt, but because not everyone I'm friends with has as diverse a friend group.
I've noticed what your saying a bit, but my guess, is that out in the real world not only does the above apply. But once your working, how will you make new friends, when life isn't like college/HS and theirs's tons of clubs/classes that basically advertise racially universal interests. You might move to a city were the only person you know is your cousin, and thus his friends become yours, and their more homogenous. Your workplace is nowhere as friendly as HS or a College Campus either, and likely not as diverse even in a multi-racial area.
Location: The Greatest city on Earth: City of Atlanta Proper
8,485 posts, read 14,987,215 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by marehoodlum
At first this question stunned me a bit... 50 years in NJ, of course i do... i don't know anyone who doesn't to be honest.
then reading all the replies, realized that isn't how it is everywhere. Kind of sad honestly.
I'm with you, I'm kind of surprised by how many people aren't perplexed by this question. Having lived most of my life in Atlanta and New York City where people being mixed together it isn't strange, I'm always blown away when I travel somewhere that doesn't have this dynamic.
One fascinating moment was on a work trip in OKC when I took one of my employees out for dinner to celebrate the successful completion of a project. I'm Blasian and she is a tall blonde lady (and loud) from Boston. I like to keep a very jovial relationship with my team since I don't believe in lording over the people that work for you, so we were laughing and telling jokes like a couple of buddies.
After a few minutes my spidey sense went off and I realized that most everyone in the restaurant was staring at us. At first I thought it was due to how loud we were being on account of our Northeastern roots, but then I saw this lady that looked exactly like Peggy Hill stare right at us and shake her head unapprovingly. While no one said anything inappropriate about it, I got the sense that they weren't used to seeing two people of different backgrounds enjoy each other's company like that.
Too bad I'm married and not the kind of boss that would cross personal physical lines. If it had been a friend I would've suggested we really give them something to talk about just to see the expression on those yokels faces.
What's crazier is the OKC is by no means the worst place for this type of behavior. I'm not even talking about Mississippi or Alabama either. I've had similar places in Upstate New York and the Pacific Northwest and they were far more uncomfortable.
Speaking for the gay community... It is rare to see truly mixed friend groups, ironic since the community is supposed to stand for inclusion and acceptance (different convo).
Cities like NYC offer the opportunity for diversity among friends, but much less so in other cities.
I used to have a great group of diverse friends when I lived in Philadelphia and never ran into any issues making friends (no matter their skin color, size, age, etc.).
As a member of the LGBT community, I only had one other East Asian friend. The rest of my LGBT friend group were White, Hispanic, or Black.
Anyhow, the vast majority of my friends are not East Asian. They are mostly White (non-Hispanic and Hispanic, though most the Hispanic ones don't visible "appear" Hispanic to outsiders) with a lot of Black and Indian Americans as well. This is in DFW.
To the person in the beginning, I am an "uneducated" and "unskilled" worker, waitstaff.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
