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It’s difficult to say. I grew up in an urban environment and am forever grateful for it. I feel the experience of growing up in a city exposed me to cultural diversity, street smarts and independence that suburban kids missed out on or had to play catch-up with in college or when first living on their own. Being able to venture out on your own and use public transit to explore your surroundings, meet people from all different backgrounds, make friends and learn from it all was a net positive.
However I was also exposed to many negative aspects of urban living such as drug addiction, street crime (robbed as a teenager at gunpoint), gangs and so forth. I don’t know if you can really escape these in any urban center as they exist in all cities to varying degrees. You may be able to find an affluent neighborhood to live in, but then your children will be raised sheltered, so the experience would be very similar to growing up in the suburbs.
It’s difficult to say. I grew up in an urban environment and am forever grateful for it. I feel the experience of growing up in a city exposed me to cultural diversity, street smarts and independence that suburban kids missed out on or had to play catch-up with in college or when first living on their own. Being able to venture out on your own and use public transit to explore your surroundings, meet people from all different backgrounds, make friends and learn from it all was a net positive.
However I was also exposed to many negative aspects of urban living such as drug addiction, street crime (robbed as a teenager at gunpoint), gangs and so forth. I don’t know if you can really escape these in any urban center as they exist in all cities to varying degrees. You may be able to find an affluent neighborhood to live in, but then your children will be raised sheltered, so the experience would be very similar to growing up in the suburbs.
I think with the latter part, it may come down to the school options in the city/area. I say that because I know people that live in nicer city neighborhoods, but still go with the closest public high school or at least go with a magnet/charter option within the city. Some may go private and even nowadays, private school doesn't necessarily have the stereotypical connotation in terms of the lack of diversity, students coming from only upper middle class backgrounds, etc.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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When I was single and in college I had an apartment in a sketchy area, a city not far from school, but I could afford it. We even had the police chief murdered while at a community meeting at a church, and a drug dealer living below me. After getting married my wife and I bought our first house in a quiet suburb before having kids, and we have continued to live in low-crime suburbs since in other houses. There has never been anything about a big city that was attractive to us. Where we are now there are no sidewalks, no street lights, several lakes, woods with hiking trails, only a couple of strip malls, no big box stores. Everything we would need is just 6 miles away in either direction in the bigger cities.
When I was single and in college I had an apartment in a sketchy area, a city not far from school, but I could afford it. We even had the police chief murdered while at a community meeting at a church, and a drug dealer living below me. After getting married my wife and I bought our first house in a quiet suburb before having kids, and we have continued to live in low-crime suburbs since in other houses. There has never been anything about a big city that was attractive to us. Where we are now there are no sidewalks, no street lights, several lakes, woods with hiking trails, only a couple of strip malls, no big box stores. Everything we would need is just 6 miles away in either direction in the bigger cities.
I guess I prefer a low crime city with a mixture of dense housing, as well as single family housing. Most cities have that to a certain degree, but sometimes they suffer from poor public schools.
I would raise kids only in the suburbs if the city was Detroit, Philadelphia, Baltimore, St. Louis — of the cities I know at least something about. Chicago, San Fran, DC, and NYC (obviously) I’d go to the city. Maybe Minneapolis/St Paul.
Could go either way, suburbs or city, with Boston, Atlanta, Seattle.
Don’t know enough about day-to-day life in most Sunbelt, mountain West, or other Midwest cities to make a choice. It’s more than just public schools that would be determinative though. Overall QOL would count most.
As a Philly resident, I'm offended you'd group us with Detroit, Baltimore, and STL... Philly has plenty of safe neighborhoods full of families and is MUCH more on par with Chicago and DC in terms of safety and amenities than these cities... some of the most dangerous and blighted in the country which have all lost 50% or more of their peak population.
To answer the question posed by this thread, I would rather raise my future kids in the core of any major city versus the suburbs. Growing up in West Philly prepared me for life in a way that you don't get living in the suburbs. This became readily apparent when I was in college: too many suburban kids didn't know how to use public transportation, read street signs, travel alone, and lacked the street smarts you attain from years of living in the city. I would rather my future children be exposed to a diverse group of people with varying life experiences than to grow up in a suburban bubble in suburban hell.
To answer the question posed by this thread, I would rather raise my future kids in the core of any major city versus the suburbs. Growing up in West Philly prepared me for life in a way that you don't get living in the suburbs. This became readily apparent when I was in college: too many suburban kids didn't know how to use public transportation, read street signs, travel alone, and lacked the street smarts you attain from years of living in the city. I would rather my future children be exposed to a diverse group of people with varying life experiences than to grow up in a suburban bubble in suburban hell.
Generally agree, but a few counter points...
1. Raising kids in a city like Philadelphia or New York can be expensive, space is more limited, and top urban neighborhoods are more expensive than their suburban counterparts.
2. Not all suburbs are hell, I grew up in Media (I'm sure you are familiar), fantastic area.
3. Suburban public schools are generally better. You mention Masterman in Philadelphia, a prestigious high school, but also hard to enroll. Whereas a family can move to nearby Main Line communities, which offer a nice mix or urban/suburban lifestyles and nationally acclaimed public schools with no enrollment criteria.
That being said, people can still raise kids in big urban cities like Philadelphia or New York, (I see it daily and would consider it if I had kids), but there are pros to the burbs.
Last edited by cpomp; 06-27-2023 at 08:17 AM..
Reason: Grammar
Well there's kids and then there's kids. Many kids under the age of say 13 love the suburbs. Suburbs are typically geared toward little kids who are interested in things little kids like. It's more like when kids get into the age where they no longer want to hang out at their parents' houses, where they want to escape adult supervision and want to pursue their own activities without requiring approval or assistance from adults...that's when the suburbs tend to become 'hell' in their minds. Suburbia isn't great for anyone who fancies themselves an adult (as most teenagers do) but doesn't have the means of an adult, either in terms of money or means of transportation.
But that's also the classic cycle. At ages 18-21 many kids, filled with the recent memories of suburban frustration, wanna desperately leave the suburbs and they move to the big city, but by the time they start having kids they remember again how much they liked life in suburbia when they were 6-9 years olds and want the same for their kids, too.
I would not live in the city of San Francisco with family, but many of the cities outside of SF are fine for families.
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