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Right now I live with family outside DC where I grew up.
Never been a DC/NOVA fan which is why pre-pandemic I lived most of my adult life in the Northeast (Boston, Connecticut, Manhattan).
I really am eager to get my own space again, but several things have held me up, not the least of which is, umm where do I really belong?
If I was 20, 30, if I was married, if I had kids, I would know the answer.
I'm nearly 40, single, childless adult male with a mild disability (Autism), so social connectivity has always been a challenge.
Now I find myself where the places that made sense in my 20s/30s....urban centers...I feel old. People my age have left for the suburbs with their wives and kids, and been replaced by people five years younger who have themselves moved on and got replaced by those now 10 years younger as they cycle goes.
I go to the suburbs, there are people my age, just about all them are married, with kids, and homeowners, or at least 1-2 of the three so I feel just as out of place. My areas under consideration:
1) Well, I stayed in Denver at my friend's loft he rents out by Coors Field in May. I have been offered to live there, I am mixed, I like Denver as I am a four seasons person, and it is young, but the vibe I got....I am too old for that area, and I know nothing is Manhattan but it felt more like the outer suburbs of Hartford, CT than NYC in terms of isolation. Very little street foot traffic.
2) I have a couple I know from NYC in the next town from Norwalk, CT, and a few people 25 miles east. People my age like me, the few, seem to migrate towards still urban places with more space like Jersey City or Hoboken...is Norwalk similar and would it be a good fit?
3) Raleigh comes up because it is only four hours from my parents in Northern VA, seems to be young, and affordable/small but urban enough with a pro hockey team.
4) Somewhere else????
-Note, generally I prefer the Northeast and a place with four seasons (which is why I love NY I can snowboard and go to the beach) that is driving distance to family in Northern VA. But that is not a requirement as a western city - Denver and sunbelt city - Raleigh is on the list.
More important is that I know somebody there already....which I do in Denver, Norwalk, and Raleigh.
An area like Atlanta would not work...I know nobody, not close to the beach, southern, not really drivable to Northern VA.
Any help would be much appreciated.
but as seen with Denver and
Like many you skipped right over Richmond which is a big mistake in your instance given its urban feel and appeal to younger professionals wanting that vibe minus the big price tag. Neighborhoods like Church Hill, Shockoe Bottom, The Fan, VCU-Downtown, Scott's Addition, Carytown and Manchester are some examples.
What about the Philadelphia area? You may also like smaller cities like White Plains and New Rochelle in Westchester County NY just north of NYC and not too far from Norwalk.
Right by Coors is pretty happening for the younger crowd. I'd look into Washington Park, Congress Park, or North Capitol Hill as more mature neighborhoods. I don't think they're all full of kids and you're still able to live an urban life.
But honestly it sounds like you belong in New York.
Big cities tend to self segregate more than smaller cities. It was noticeable from growing up in Colorado Springs to going to Denver and it was way worse out in Atlanta, where this neighborhood was the Koreans with kids in school, that one is the 55 year olds with boats... That makes it harder to socialize if you haven't landed in the neighborhood with people just like you. Smaller locations blend more, really small and everyone talks to everyone.
I'd for sure get out of NOVA .
My suggestion is a smaller city in the NE from Philly outskirts to CT that's outside a commuter suburb range. If there's one that has its own city center rather than a bedroom community, that's better, you get to meet the locals more that way. It's less transient too in the area.
Denver is a place where people go for activities moreso that sitting down and talking with people on a Sat afternoon. I wouldn't recommend.
Big cities tend to self segregate more than smaller cities. It was noticeable from growing up in Colorado Springs to going to Denver and it was way worse out in Atlanta, where this neighborhood was the Koreans with kids in school, that one is the 55 year olds with boats... That makes it harder to socialize if you haven't landed in the neighborhood with people just like you. Smaller locations blend more, really small and everyone talks to everyone.
I'd for sure get out of NOVA .
My suggestion is a smaller city in the NE from Philly outskirts to CT that's outside a commuter suburb range. If there's one that has its own city center rather than a bedroom community, that's better, you get to meet the locals more that way. It's less transient too in the area.
Denver is a place where people go for activities moreso that sitting down and talking with people on a Sat afternoon. I wouldn't recommend.
Honestly I think a small town for someone with OP's age and background is the worst option. Most locals are married with kids and have made their friends already. Only places that draw a lot of transplants make sense. NOVA will likely have a lot more unattached 40 somethings than your small town. DC in particular draws a lot of spectrum wonky types that put career first and relationships last so OP would only need to figure out how to get plugged in.
I'd try and get away from this mentality that there aren't single 40 years congregating in huge cities. I'm not dismissing the challenge of finding social interaction despite Lifestage. But I'm also not willing to believe that other singles in your age group don't exist either.
Raleigh strikes me as college and family oriented. I love Denver. By why not stick close to family?
Like many you skipped right over Richmond which is a big mistake in your instance given its urban feel and appeal to younger professionals wanting that vibe minus the big price tag. Neighborhoods like Church Hill, Shockoe Bottom, The Fan, VCU-Downtown, Scott's Addition, Carytown and Manchester are some examples.
I only want to go to a place where I know at least one friend, I do not want to be starting at absolute zero.
Also, I am more of a big metro area person, with sports teams or a beach person or snow person. Richmond would not work.
I know people in Norwalk, CT; Denver, and Raleigh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckhthankgod
What about the Philadelphia area? You may also like smaller cities like White Plains and New Rochelle in Westchester County NY just north of NYC and not too far from Norwalk.
See above, do not know anybody in Philly, and I always considered myself a tri-stater.
Quote:
Originally Posted by annie_himself
Right by Coors is pretty happening for the younger crowd. I'd look into Washington Park, Congress Park, or North Capitol Hill as more mature neighborhoods. I don't think they're all full of kids and you're still able to live an urban life.
But honestly it sounds like you belong in New York.
I thought that until the last two years, my most area, the UES/Yorkville, its all people at least 5 more like 10 years younger. Very very few people my age, single, in the city.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Citykid3785
I'd try and get away from this mentality that there aren't single 40 years congregating in huge cities. I'm not dismissing the challenge of finding social interaction despite Lifestage. But I'm also not willing to believe that other singles in your age group don't exist either.
Raleigh strikes me as college and family oriented. I love Denver. By why not stick close to family?
I don't like NOVA. I don't hate it, but I would never voluntarily choose to live in metro DC. I don't like the city (too sterile), the sprawl, the heat but no beach, the cold but no snow.
It sounds like your experiences with some of these cities are limited to specific neighborhoods. There are different vibes elsewhere in cities like New York and Denver. I honestly think New York would be the best fit for your criteria, and as a recently-single 40 year-old myself, NYC offers more than most places, IMO. Denver does feel younger in many areas downtown, but IMO the Capitol Hill neighborhood and places a bit east of there like around Cheesman Park felt a little older and quieter.
I think Norwalk is probably the worst place you could land, and I'm not particularly a fan of Raleigh. I'd advise checking into New York, some other parts of Denver than where you're familiar, or coach yourself up for a move to a new city with no ties. Philly and Chicago would be on my short list.
Yeah, I would stay in a bigger city. I feel you on these things.
I'm on the spectrum but I've had my share of girlfriends and longer relationships. Friends is. little tougher for me, but I have some.
I'm personally not a big fan of chicago mainly for its lack of outdoor activities though. Can't speak for Denver because I've never even been there.
San Francisco is worth a look, but you're prolly best off on the east coast in a bigger city. Just look at different neighborhoods.
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