Which state for me? (home, transfer, to buy)

[DubbleT]

Hi all!

I wasn't sure in which forum to put this thread, but I've been reading this forum for a while and it seemed like the best place to possibly get a few answers to my questions.

First, a little about my situation. I work for a large retail company, and I have been given the opportunity to transfer in the very near future. Wherever I wind up, I plan to buy a very modest home and eventually retire there. The cost of living is a huge consideration for me because I'm a single parent (on retail wages )with a college age daughter who will be moving with me. I think I have pretty much decided I really want to move somewhere in the general area where TN, VA, and NC come together. I have a handful of towns and cities in those states that I have researched, but I can't quite make up my mind.

Given that, does anyone have an opinion which one of the three states I mentioned might be the best choice for me financially? Would it be to my advantage to live in one state and work across state lines? Obviously TN beats out the others on income tax, but what about property taxes, tax breaks for retirees, etc?
Other than the COL comparison on that other site, does anyone have any good links that might help me decide?

Oh, and I'm coming from Memphis, so dang near anywhere else would be an improvement as far as I'm concerned.