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I appreciate what you say, Rachael, but at the same time you have to realize that what might be considered "admirable frankness" Up North, can be considered tacky rudeness down here. And for good reason.
You can call it "fake"...but to us in the South? We just call it Good Manners!
But the larger point is, humor and mannerisms are perhaps the most difficult to translate across regional lines. And the "value" placed upon either -- positive or negative -- just depends on which part of the country one is from. This is not always a "bad" thing. In fact, it reflect the TRUE diversity of our United States.
tongue in creek. I have said, and posted, many things that were not very complementary, but for many of the people in the south, they just don't get it. In fact, most times, they even took it as an outright complement.
Sounds more like valuing the truth and clarity to me.
I'm sure it does...and goes back to what I referred to earlier in that the very same qualities and ways of expressing them can come across very differently in different regions of the country.
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You don't have to wonder if someone's tongue is split, you can take their words at face value
Split tongue?
Om the other hand? Maybe there are some times one just shouldn't open their mouths at all, reckon? Especially if one is in another's house.
The single biggest thing I have found in the realm of a negative opinion many of us Southerners develop of a certain genre of northerners is the failure of the latter to comprehend that -- in a nutshell -- we don't give a fiddlers damn how it was done Up North.
This is not to say how it was done (whatever "it" may be) is wrong, right, or left...just that to come down here and make a point of it, is akin to coming into someones home and telling them how the decor sucks. There is nothing admirable about this at all. It is tacky and rude and most Southerners would not dream of going up north and doing the same.
When in Rome, one does as the Romans do. If they can't? Then at least have don't presume to tell the natives how to do it.
tongue in creek. I have said, and posted, many things that were not very complementary, but for many of the people in the south, they just don't get it. In fact, most times, they even took it as an outright complement.
What don't we "get"? Surely you are not implying that what you said (whatever it was) is a remark which flys over our heads? (I can roll my eyes too, doncha know...)
But yep, in a certain context, you are probably right. Awaiting your specifics on it all...?
Sounds more like valuing the truth and clarity to me. You don't have to wonder if someone's tongue is split, you can take their words at face value.
Oh, I think you can tell somebody the truth without necessarily having to hurt somebody's feeling. It's known as diplomacy and tact.
And if somebody is too obtuse to understand what's somebody's saying without having to be abrupt about the matter, then that's their problem, not mine.
I'm sure it does...and goes back to what I referred to earlier in that the very same qualities and ways of expressing them can come across very differently in different regions of the country.
Split tongue?
Om the other hand? Maybe there are some times one just shouldn't open their mouths at all, reckon? Especially if one is in another's house.
The single biggest thing I have found in the realm of a negative opinion many of us Southerners develop of a certain genre of northerners is the failure of the latter to comprehend that -- in a nutshell -- we don't give a fiddlers damn how it was done Up North.
This is not to say how it was done (whatever "it" may be) is wrong, right, or left...just that to come down here and make a point of it, is akin to coming into someones home and telling them how the decor sucks. There is nothing admirable about this at all. It is tacky and rude and most Southerners would not dream of going up north and doing the same.
When in Rome, one does as the Romans do. If they can't? Then at least have don't presume to tell the natives how to do it.
I am not out to change you, but by the same token, I have every right to live MY life the way I see fit. If that means not fitting in to some preconceived notion of what people do or are supposed to be in the south, so be it. You go your way and I will go mine. I never asked anybody in NY, who were from all over the world, to be just like me and "fit in", so I am not about to comply to YOUR standards.
It is a free country. We can choose to live wherever and be whoever we want, as long as it is not against the law. It certainly isn't against the law to not "do as the Romans do" in the south.
My daughter, Rachael, may not live in the south, but I DO. Answer ME, not her.
I really couldn't see myself living in the south. Although if i did, i guess Houston because i reminds me in many parts of A suburb and i could easily deal with a suburb. And if i wanted urbanity downtown would be a skip away and downtowns pretty nice (although i could use some more energy(no pun intended (you know, Houston has a lot of energy companies)))
Or Atlanta, same deal. Actually they all sorta fit the bill, but I guess Houston and ATL would be my first choices
I notice a lot of fighting over New York City. While you can get a lot in New York City, they don't have the best Mexican food. Neither does the South, but the point is New York City isn't the best at everything. The best Mexican food is found in and always will be found in the Southwest.
I am not out to change you, but by the same token, I have every right to live MY life the way I see fit. If that means not fitting in to some preconceived notion of what people do or are supposed to be in the south, so be it. You go your way and I will go mine. I never asked anybody in NY, who were from all over the world, to be just like me and "fit in", so I am not about to comply to YOUR standards.
It is a free country. We can choose to live wherever and be whoever we want, as long as it is not against the law. It certainly isn't against the law to not "do as the Romans do" in the south.
Well, bully for you. Here's what I love about that argument. Basically, a person like you moves to the South, continues speaking, interacting, and behaving just the way he did back in Detroit or Boston or Syracuse, and then starting mewling about how Southerners just aren't nearly as friendly as they're supposed to be.
Hey, I'm from Chicago. But I was smart enough to understand that there was a significant cultural difference when I came down here. Not 180-degrees from where I came, but enough in how people approached one another, spoke to one another, and dealt with one another to learn. So we've been incredibly happy here for 15 years without really having to change who we were. We just learned the local customs and dealt with it.
I mean, if you moved to Tokyo or Riyadh or Jakarta and expected to have any kind of life there, you would pay attention to the local mores and accommodate them. Why is it so hard to understand that a move to Atlanta or Charlotte requires some kind of adjustment as well?
I am not out to change you, but by the same token, I have every right to live MY life the way I see fit.
Yes, you do. Who ever said different?
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If that means not fitting in to some preconceived notion of what people do or are supposed to be in the south, so be it. You go your way and I will go mine. I never asked anybody in NY, who were from all over the world, to be just like me and "fit in", so I am not about to comply to YOUR standards.
Still not sure of your point, but just to say, if one moves to another region of the country....South to North, Midwest to South, West to Northeast or any other possible combinations thereof, then the person moving to the other regions should not expect the one they left to be the same as the one they move to. And yeah, I realize I ended a sentence with a preposition.
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It is a free country. We can choose to live wherever and be whoever we want, as long as it is not against the law. It certainly isn't against the law to not "do as the Romans do" in the south.
You are right. There is no law. And no reason for there to be. At the same time though, don't complain and call "Southern hospitality" fake if you don't encounter it when coming down with an attitude. You will get what you are receptive to.
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My daughter, Rachael, may not live in the south, but I DO. Answer ME, not her.
Let me make something very and I mean very clear. When "your daughter" Rachael posts something that is disputable or objectionable, or whatever, then I WILL reply to it. If you don't like that? Moderator cut: inappropriate
Answer YOU? I am. You damn well bet I am.
Last edited by Bo; 01-10-2009 at 07:49 PM..
Reason: Calling out another member's maturity can be viewed as a personal attack. Tone it down.
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