East Coast kids vs MidWest vs South vs? (countertops, condo) - General U.S. - City-Data Forum

bande1102 · 03-24-2007, 10:52 AM

I'm on the East coast--Maryland and live in one of the most "desirable" neighborhoods/counties. But I'm so fed up with the kids around here that it is driving me crazy. The profanity/violence/lack of parental supervision is getting worse. And I'm talking about kids in elementary school. My neighbor's kids, who are 6 and 9 were blaring music with sexually explicit lyrics last weekend. A few weeks ago my 8 year old was on the sidewalk, literally in front of my house (I'd ran in to get him a water) and another 8 year old jumped him and stole his foot ball (???). Apparently my son didn't give it to him when he told him to. You can talk to the parents all you want, they just don't care.

Are kids like this everywhere? My dh says yes and get over it. My friends recently moved to Shawnee, KS and say no, move west. My brother in law moved to Texas and says its a MD/DC/NoVA thing and wants us to join him there.

Anyway, I'm looking for a safe, affordable, family friendly town to raise my boys. Does it exist? What's the trade off? Are things that different geographically across the US?

bmurphy · 03-24-2007, 02:13 PM

Kids are like this everywhere; it's called having parents that don't pay attention, etc. Unfortunately, it's not confined to any one area.

friendnc · 03-24-2007, 02:19 PM

In the subdivision we live in here in suburban Charlotte, my boys (14/11) are outside right now playing basketball in our driveway with some buddies. It's a close-knit neighborhood. If a child needs getting onto, we parents do it and the child's parents don't get up in arms. Most parents sit out on the poarches or driveways and talk and visit. I love the sound of children playing outdoors and not glued to a video screen. Everyone's looking out for one another. It's great!

j33 · 03-24-2007, 02:59 PM

bande1102 - I grew up in the Midwest (near Chicago) and that sounds like the kids here as well. My little brother had his bike stolen (he got it back), etc., kids got into fights in school, swore, etc.

I don't condone fighting at all, but when my 8 year old brother got his bike stolen when we were new to our neighborhood, he chased the kid down and took it back by force, he never had a problem with that kid again. Sometimes kids are weird how they work these things out, especially boys. I've seen more than one boy end up friends with a kid they got into a fist-fight with the week before. Sadly, I don't know of any area that doesn't have those sort of problems or the occasional neighborhood jerk whose parents don't care.

That being said, if it starts to become a serious issue with gangs and such, then you don't want to stick around and deal with that if you don't have to (that is what prompted my family to move when I got older, it went beyond the simple schoolyard scuffles, the occasional toy thief or bully, and obnoxious kids).

There doesn't seem to be an easy answer, and I don't think that there is any sort of 'magical region' out there were the kids are all nice to each other.

dullnboring · 03-24-2007, 04:19 PM

Yeah, kids are pretty much like this everywhere unfortunately. I don't think you can really pinpoint a specific area in the country as being markedly better or worse. I think it's more localized than that and really depends on the families you get on your street which is really sort of a crapshoot, but at least you can rest more comfortably in your home. Regardless, kids will be exposed to sex, violence, drugs and profanity in their schools. I've always found it ironic for children to not being allowed into R-rated films considering what they see and hear in the hallways on a daily basis in our nation's elementary schools even, would be an NC-17 rated film. It's a sad reality.

christina0001 · 03-25-2007, 08:47 AM

I think the problem with living in a "desireable" community is that too often, both parents (assuming it's even a 2 - parent household) have to work long hours to afford to live there. The kids are frequently left unsupervised, and when mom and dad come home from work, they are too tired to be disciplinarians. The result is a lot of disrespectful, out of control children. IMO Different regions of the country (and definitely here on the northeast coast) there is a higher value placed on having a nice home, earning a high salary, and working a prestigious job, than the value on family. If you can find an area where the opposite is true, and family is more important than being able to afford a Lexus SUV and new granite countertops, you will probably find more well-behaved children.

ehenningsen · 03-25-2007, 10:14 AM

bande1102 check out OMaha, Ne

Omaha has a lower than average crime rate
rates #12 for lowest cost of living
rates #32 for household income
houses are about 50% less than the average metro us
Omaha has about 850,000 people in the metro and
1.14 million in the flatwater metroplex (includes Lincoln)
and so there are LOTS of things to do, people are very
friendly here too..

Do a Barrel Roll · 03-25-2007, 11:29 AM

From the expereience of being a kid raised in MD/DC/NoVA, I'd say it's definitely something that's apparent in the area (more in MD & DS than NoVA). I would personally try out more child-friendly areas like the Denver, San Diego, and Seattle areas.
BTW, where in MD is this so-called desirable place?

bande1102 · 03-25-2007, 01:24 PM

Thanks for all of your thoughts/suggestions. The more I talk to other people, the more I'm starting to think it may be a regional thing, but not sure. And I should add that I'm fortunate to have a house and family to begin with. Still, just want to keep everyone safe and respectful and grow up to be one of the good guys.

friendnc: that's what I'm talking about!--love it, looking for it.

Dullnboring: I hear you about the elementary schools. I just really, really hope the stories I'm hearing about the high school aren't as bad as they sound.

J33: know what you mean about boys working things out. But, yeah, the stuff going on around here is more than fist fights. . .

Christina: I think you hit the nail on the head. We bought here years ago (when prices were low) and so don't face a lot of the pressures that our neighbors face. But then again, housing costs aside, the amount of money that people around here spend on maids/vacations/vehicles/furniture is just insane as is the workload required to maintain that life. Something's gotta give, right?

ehenningsen: hadn't thought about Omaha, but thanks for the information.

Fairfaxian: I'm in a water community in AA county (we moved here years ago b/f the prices went crazy). I grew up/was raised in Howard County. Then, as a young adult, moved to PG county--But that's a whole other post.

Bhaalspawn · 03-25-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian

From the expereience of being a kid raised in MD/DC/NoVA, I'd say it's definitely something that's apparent in the area (more in MD & DS than NoVA). I would personally try out more child-friendly areas like the Denver, San Diego, and Seattle areas.
BTW, where in MD is this so-called desirable place?

I can see this sort of thing happening, in say, Prince George's County, but perhaps children would come from families that raise them to be better behaved in the more upscale Montgomery County?