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1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did MORE work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.
4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards (ducks) are making their final approach, we will shoot it (the phone). You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is really, really sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a LOT of water.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine (it's farm equipment) that we only use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.
16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like (money). Get it? pig farms -- income -- money? Get over it. Don't like the smell? Interstate 85 goes two ways. Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of Wheat -- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.
19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators...and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.
25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not stay there?
26. And no, down here we don't have an accent, you do.
Make a note that this only applies to some places in the south. Not all.
You'll be the sixth borough soon enough. Just give us more time
Well, we already got the AAA Yankees farm team, The Original Soup Man, and a Cold Stone Creamery. What's next? A second Bubba Gump's or Jekyll & Hyde? Maybe we can become the "classy" version of Staten Island?
It's funny how northerners think everyone else is uneducated & backwards. But who has more common sense?!(& you can't buy that with a college education!)
Funny you should say that- because most in south don't have a college education! Just stating a fact.
Make a note that this only applies to some places in the south. Not all.
Sure, you're right it only applies to certain places...like Houston cough cough
lol. I think we all know the list is meant for fun-if anyone can't guess its exagerated they are not living in reality.
#10 doesn't really make sense; Atlanta is one of the biggest coke-trafficking sites in the country, and you can buy blow in just about any southern town.
Funny you should say that- because most in south don't have a college education! Just stating a fact.
This is true. Most in the south (74%) do not have a college education.
But most in the northeast (69%) do not have a college education either.
US Census Press Releases (http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/education/004214.html - broken link)
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