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04-17-2007, 07:45 PM
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Location: Michigan
29,382 posts, read 53,478,739 times
Reputation: 21983
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Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."
Georgia
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper asked, "Got any I. D.?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither."
And this from South Carolina
"You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone retiring to the North!
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04-17-2007, 07:58 PM
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1,233 posts, read 3,327,095 times
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It does not have to rise, it already has risen along with all the other states...United together under one nation.
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04-17-2007, 08:12 PM
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Location: At work
364 posts, read 482,876 times
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What is the point of these posts? Humor? That's debateable!
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04-17-2007, 08:20 PM
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Location: Michigan
29,382 posts, read 53,478,739 times
Reputation: 21983
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These posts are for humor only. This will be last southern humor post. I got all the southern posts from Tennessee forums.
Thanks, John
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04-17-2007, 08:59 PM
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6,513 posts, read 15,787,098 times
Reputation: 4537
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I think they're funny, John. Hadn't heard 'em before
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04-17-2007, 11:08 PM
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Location: In God
3,073 posts, read 11,304,649 times
Reputation: 510
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These are all very clever, but where's Texas and Florida? Kentucky? Arkansas?
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04-18-2007, 08:24 AM
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4,626 posts, read 13,682,830 times
Reputation: 1719
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Whenever I've heard that statement "the south will rise again", I've immediately thought to myself "rise again and do what exactly". I guess now I know  |
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04-18-2007, 12:40 PM
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Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 13,961,415 times
Reputation: 2399
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John1960
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither."
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LOL  Almost as bad as when I looked for "Sebin" spray ("Sevin" is an insecticide) for carpenter bees.  |
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