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There's 600k people in DC. There are plenty of down-to-earth people. I'm one of them. I have a simple blue collar job as a fireman. I could care less about everyone's government jobs, but I still love living in the city. Every neighborhood is so different and there are plenty of diverse groups of people.
The OP is looking for a down-to-earth gay community, of which DC is the polar opposite. I'm gay and lived in DC for 7 years (Dupont Circle/Logan Circle). It is overall a very cold/unfriendly elitist gay community often attributed to the fact that the city is somewhat transient and most living in the city have some form of a governmental title, which often boils down to the equivalent of an Administrative Assistant. Overall, it's not a pleasant place to live if your personality doesn't fit the mold. I agree, there are some select neighborhoods that do stand out in terms being more friendly (Mt Pleasant, Eastern Market, Brightwood, Takoma Park), but they are few.
Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill metro is the third "most educated" metro in the US. Most Educated Cities
Additionally with three major universities (Duke University, University of North Carolina and North Carolina State University) within 30 minutes of one another, it attracts a diverse group of people from all over the nation/world.
It seems like you are looking for a vibrant, walkable, down to earth community that is gay friendly and affordable and has some history and charm. And judging from the fact that you lived in Scranton and a far suburb of DC, it seems that you probably don't want to be in the middle of a big city, but rather a small to medium sized city. With that in mind, I would suggest the following:
Madison, WI
Durham, NC
Manchester, NH
Portland, ME
Ann Arbor, MI
Dayton, OH
Des Moines, IA
I second Madison, WI. I'm a student here at UW, and I happen to be gay, but Madison is so LGBT friendly that it has NEVER become an issue. Even outside of the student population, the people who live here are extremely friendly and down to earth. Mostly middle class, liberal, open-minded, blue collar blended with white collar people. Plenty of older homes with loads of character, affordability depends on the part of town. Very walkable, vibrant downtown, 3 lakes surrounding the capitol provides for some great scenery. Big enough that you don't feel like you're living in a college town per-se, but still small enough that you can get that friendly neighborhood feel.
And for what it's worth, I believe Madison has the most restaurants per capita in the U.S, I rarely eat chain food because of all the great local places.
Why do you think Wilmington isn't more noticed by the gay community? One really never hears about it. I think a few years back there was some covereage of this city as a desirable spot for gays, yet I never hear about it now. Im thinking way to many gay people focus only on Key West, Ft Lauderdale, Palm Springs, San Fran, and the other so called gay friendly areas. That in itself doesn't surprise me, but I think it is sad in many ways.
The OP is looking for a down-to-earth gay community, of which DC is the polar opposite. I'm gay and lived in DC for 7 years (Dupont Circle/Logan Circle). It is overall a very cold/unfriendly elitist gay community often attributed to the fact that the city is somewhat transient and most living in the city have some form of a governmental title, which often boils down to the equivalent of an Administrative Assistant. Overall, it's not a pleasant place to live if your personality doesn't fit the mold. I agree, there are some select neighborhoods that do stand out in terms being more friendly (Mt Pleasant, Eastern Market, Brightwood, Takoma Park), but they are few.
I don't know I will say that it can be socially challenging in DC, especially if you don't fit into the fancy college, multiple degrees, fancy job title crowd. But there are plenty of down to earth folks in the DC area. I dont' know how to describe it but there is something about the fact that DC can be such a challenge that has made my time here more enjoyable. I've said it before but some cities are easy to love but DC is not slutty like some cities. You gotta take her out for a few dinners and a show before she puts out.
But as far as suggestions go, I don't know. I love Atlanta. It's more affordable and always has something going on.
Charm and soul are all very subjective. Every city has a soul but whether one likes said soul is subjective.
Chicago is way more affordable than DC. Which is surprising considering how big of a city it is. I hear good things about Minneapolis and they say they're pretty progressive up there.
Portland, Oregon is more affordable and very nice. Although the job market in Portland is another story from what I hear.
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