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Peace,I suggest that you look at city demographics and choose a city that males out number females. I would then advise that you choose a city where they have a high population on minorties. The reason being that these cities tend to be more accepting of ethnic women. If all else fails you should come to canada and chose either Toronto, Montreal, Edmonton, Vancouver or Calgary. Starting in that order...well I wish you the best on your search
This is not a joke, I am serious about this question. I have lived in both Maryland (college) and the Midwest (job) and found that in those areas, men of all races do not actively pursue black women.
I don't know whether it is cultural, fear of sexual harassment accusations or just plain zero attraction to black women but in those places I got (and still get) no play.
A little about me, I grew up in Ghana, a country where men actively pursue women. They make catcalls, walk up to you and boldly ask you out for a date.
Since I moved to the U.S., I have not had that experience. I know I am not ugly but for the life of me, cannot explain why I never get asked out. I asked a caucasian colleague of mine and she said that American men are just shy and that they don't chase women the way I was used to in Ghana. She advised me to make eye contact with men I like and to smile encouragingly.
I tried that but failed woefully. I am just not used to making the first moves with a man also, the men I liked were not attracted to me.
I decided to stop but now want to move to an area where men are bolder. Does such a place exist in the U.S.?
I am professional, 26 with a grad degree
I don't know why you haven't had anyone at all hit on you, thats just strange...
Regardless the men in American society are mostly *******... with a high divorce rate many have been raised in broken homes by only women. Our politically correct society is scared of masculinity and often makes things such as giving women a compliment considered a form of sexual harassment.
Maybe you could try like a military town. Military men are stereotyped as more forward, but I think there is some truth to that stereotype.
Jacksonville, North Carolina is 24% black and around 40% of the city seems to have never married. Columbia, South Carolina has a large military population, is 46% black, and never-married people outnumber married. South Carolina is known for its manners, but possibly it's traditional enough the men still ask the women out more than the reverse.
Regardless the men in American society are mostly *******... with a high divorce rate many have been raised in broken homes by only women. Our politically correct society is scared of masculinity and often makes things such as giving women a compliment considered a form of sexual harassment.
It's been a massive change. 30 years ago men were much more forward. Now, men don't dare.
It's been a massive change. 30 years ago men were much more forward. Now, men don't dare.
I learned not to do that. I complimented this one girl on her looks and she transformed into Fatal Attraction mode!
Telling people we were dating, calling all the time, getting angry when i would chill with another girl, and more! She started freaking out when I told her to chill out and that we were just friend (if that). I had only known this chick for one day!
I'm not trying to brag about my swag, but () this chick was crazy.
Thanks to all of you for your recommendations. So far I think I have compiled a pretty good list, way more than I started with i.e
-Chicago
-Houston
-Southern states
-San Francisco
-Places with a military presence (Jacksonville (NC), Columbia (SC), San Diego, Virginia)
-New York city
-Miami
-Los Angeles
-Philadelphia
And internationally
-Germany
-Canada
-Italy
-Mexico
Did I miss anything?
I have started checking out some of their city boards. My plan is to start looking for jobs once I narrow the list down to 3.
Another thing I did not mention (and I am hoping it does not offend anyone) is that I prefer professional men. I know some people may think it's elitist to have that as a criteria but it's just what I like. Also, I don't care about race or ethnicity,just a man who isn't afraid to pursue and love an African woman.
I lived in Silver Spring and went to college at the University of Maryland. I got maybe 2 passes in all the years I was there. It made me so depressed and I felt invisible and ugly.
The Midwest hasn't been that much better for me (I live in Indy now), which makes me want to move again. I know I am not ugly because whenever I travel back to Ghana, the interest is there. Recently I went to Jamaica and I had a lot of hits.
I just can't fathom why my experience so far in the U.S. has been so different. All I just want is a quality guy to ask me out... is that too much??
In the meantime, I am browsing the boards for new york and atlanta (Thanks bizchick 86). I am really serious about moving to a place where the men are similar to what I grew up with. Hopefully I get a good job in those places
What you refer as being "not ugly" greatly varies from one continent and population to another. In that prospect, Ghanaian standards are quite different from your typical AA or W American men, esp. in the newer generations.
Basically, it all comes down to this, westernized populations shoot for the westenized type.
I'll go on to say that moving to improve your dating life would be one hell of bad idea, as I get the impression that while I am sure you are a very interesting person, you haven't completly found yourself. The problem doesn't always lay on others. Then again moving may be the new start you are looking for.
Last edited by Wenseslas; 12-21-2009 at 03:37 AM..
Another thing I did not mention (and I am hoping it does not offend anyone) is that I prefer professional men. I know some people may think it's elitist to have that as a criteria but it's just what I like. Also, I don't care about race or ethnicity,just a man who isn't afraid to pursue and love an African woman.
That could be an issue. I don't think it's snobbish, that's not what I mean. However I think, if they're sober, professional men might be a bit more reserved in this age. I could be wrong on that, but I think there's some encouragement of it.
I haven't read all the posts so this may have already been said. One of the many possible reasons you're not being approached by black males is that they (black males) are tired of "frightening" people. It seems more often than not, no one wants to make eye-to-eye contact with black males, let alone engage in a conversations with ones they don't already know. People of all races would rather pretend the Black male isn't there, so perhaps the men are just playing that same game now.
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) this chick was crazy.
