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Old 03-19-2008, 04:04 PM
 
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I was on campus today and a couple of students sitting down at a table asked me a question. It kind of scared me because I rarely talk to strangers in public unless I am participating in some transaction or something in that nature, but just out of the blue. I don't hate it, I just tend to not do so because I don't seek it out. I went on and answered the question. I was confronted by the same person later on and he and another person started asking me questions that I would not even bother asking anyone else. I got kind of scared because I wondered "what is going on"? I was then told I was acting antisocial, not in a rude way, but it appeared to be someone giving me advice. I talked to them and they seem nice. What gets me is why is it considered antisocial to not seek out talking to strangers in public? Is this a Georgia thing? Perhaps so. Perhaps not.
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:19 PM
 
941 posts, read 2,174,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
I was on campus today and a couple of students sitting down at a table asked me a question. It kind of scared me because I rarely talk to strangers in public unless I am participating in some transaction or something in that nature, but just out of the blue. I don't hate it, I just tend to not do so because I don't seek it out. I went on and answered the question. I was confronted by the same person later on and he and another person started asking me questions that I would not even bother asking anyone else. I got kind of scared because I wondered "what is going on"? I was then told I was acting antisocial, not in a rude way, but it appeared to be someone giving me advice. I talked to them and they seem nice. What gets me is why is it considered antisocial to not seek out talking to strangers in public? Is this a Georgia thing? Perhaps so. Perhaps not.
Where are you from originally? Some places you are raised not to speak to people you don't know, for example i'm from Jersey we just don't do that there, in the south it's different people speak even if they don't know you.
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Old 03-19-2008, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Marietta, GA
7,862 posts, read 15,745,228 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
I was on campus today and a couple of students sitting down at a table asked me a question. It kind of scared me because I rarely talk to strangers in public unless I am participating in some transaction or something in that nature, but just out of the blue. I don't hate it, I just tend to not do so because I don't seek it out. I went on and answered the question. I was confronted by the same person later on and he and another person started asking me questions that I would not even bother asking anyone else. I got kind of scared because I wondered "what is going on"? I was then told I was acting antisocial, not in a rude way, but it appeared to be someone giving me advice. I talked to them and they seem nice. What gets me is why is it considered antisocial to not seek out talking to strangers in public? Is this a Georgia thing? Perhaps so. Perhaps not.
I think it depends on context and setting. Sometimes it's perfectly appropriate to speak to strangers in public, say at a concert or social event. Sometimes, acknowledging strangers may open you up to crime or some other problem, and ignoring the person or people is your best bet. This is where street sense and common sense should play a role. Your gut should tell you when it's best to keep on walking and when it's OK to have a chat with someone you don't know.

I'm a native NYer who's lived up north most of my life, and I think that there is definitely a difference in expectations and experience between northerners and southerners. Southerners tend to view it as rude not to be more social with strangers, while many up north view socializing with strangers for the sake of it (such as a store clerk or person walking down the street) as a bit of a waste of time and not necessary.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:31 PM
 
Location: West Cobb County, GA (Atlanta metro)
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Atlanta has a mostly migrant popuation - most come from somewhere else. That could be NYC, DC, San Fran, but can also be people who have come here from Alabama, small towns in the Carolinas, etc. Not to mention tossing in the folks who have been moving here from other countries since the Olympics. Very varied social attitudes.

"Deep Southerners" will start talking to you just out of the blue sometimes. I moved here from West Virginia back in the 80s and "Appalachians" while not northern, do tend to be quieter and keep to themselves more. At first it threw me off. People would just start talking to me like they knew me - sometimes for pretty long periods of time, too. I tried not to show it outwardly but inside I was thinking, "Dear God people... get to the POINT already and shut up!!". Eventually I adapted and realized people weren't being nosey but it was rather just a difference in culture.

Yes, there are limits. And there are bums/crooks who will try to spark a conversation with you to get you to trust them etc. Don't fall for it. But generally stuff like weather talk, tourist info, directions, comments about something that's going on in the area we're standing in - you need to get used to it and try not to act standoffish. I'm also talking about Atlanta, or possibly Savannah where you have somewhat of an influx of different people living. If by "campus" you mean a rural college town, you'll have more natives/southerners and will experience it more. It might help though to get a better feel if you actually specified the actual questions they were asking you?

Last edited by atlantagreg30127; 03-19-2008 at 10:05 PM..
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Old 03-20-2008, 09:46 AM
 
61,010 posts, read 52,482,741 times
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Originally Posted by mr.man View Post
Where are you from originally? Some places you are raised not to speak to people you don't know, for example i'm from Jersey we just don't do that there, in the south it's different people speak even if they don't know you.
I have lived in GA since I was 8 years old and in the South consistently since I was 6 (I don't consider Texas the South). I did live in the Pacific Northwest(Seattle area specifically). I think the "don't arbitrarily talk to strangers" thing was ingrained in me at age 5(I watched Barney lol). The rule was for me "unless it was my teacher or family members, I rarely talked to adults". Sometimes they could be one of my parents friends and neighbours and I might be quiet. I got more relaxed about it when I got older. If I ever needed help I might talk to an adult. If someone says hi, chances are I say hi back, or give a nod when it comes to strangers. I guess part of my situation was that I was somewhat rushed and having someone just strike up a conversation with me for no apparent reason sounded strange to me not because I had any type of hatred towards the person, but more, I do have somewhat of a reserve. If I am commented on something, I might be inclined to say something to a stranger. What I am thinking about is why is not talking to strangers for no reason considered antisocial. I wasn't trying to be antisocial. I can be somewhat quiet in public, especially around crowds of strangers.
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Old 03-21-2008, 04:33 PM
 
Location: South GA
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Don't sweat the small stuff! You are who you are, whether you live north or south of the Mason/Dixon line! I happen to be one of those who will talk to strangers standing in line or whatever - if the mood strikes me! However, I can also be someone who will only nod if spoken to. (Only on those really bad PMS days LOL) Don't let anyone else govern how you think you should feel. What you feel is what you feel.
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Old 03-21-2008, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Cumming GA
200 posts, read 957,387 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.man View Post
Where are you from originally? Some places you are raised not to speak to people you don't know, for example i'm from Jersey we just don't do that there, in the south it's different people speak even if they don't know you.

Omigosh...I'm from Jersey and I talk to everyone. If you are in a line with me I'll start with a stupid joke. In Jersey they join in, In Georgia I get looks like I have 2 heads. I often say my "Jersey" is showing.
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Old 03-21-2008, 09:21 PM
 
61,010 posts, read 52,482,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katsmeeyow View Post
Don't sweat the small stuff! You are who you are, whether you live north or south of the Mason/Dixon line! I happen to be one of those who will talk to strangers standing in line or whatever - if the mood strikes me! However, I can also be someone who will only nod if spoken to. (Only on those really bad PMS days LOL) Don't let anyone else govern how you think you should feel. What you feel is what you feel.
If something strikes me and I'm in the mood, I might speak, but most of the time I keep quiet because it's sort of natural to me. Ironically, if a stranger ever walked up to me and tried to hug me, I would never turn it down.
I was probably freaking out that day, but on a normal everyday basis, I don't normally just go up and talk to someone. Part of it is because I have little to say, but if someone just starts talking to me and asking me personal questions, I get kind of scared because I wonder "what do you want, are you trying to get something out of me?". I wouldn't consider myself antisocial. Antisocial is when you have no desire to have friends or make friends.
My view on making friends: If you come in, it sit and watch you for a few moments. My questions are can you be trusted, are you going to like me, am I going to like you?
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Old 01-26-2011, 09:08 PM
 
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"Antisocial is when you have no desire to have friends or make friends."


No, anti-social means sociopathic behavior that disregards the boundaries of society or good social order. Someone with no desire to make friends is either a loner, schizoid or happy with the friends they have made. They are not necessarily anti-social. Not all loners want to hurt people or violate their rights.
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Old 01-27-2011, 07:12 AM
 
150 posts, read 444,120 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neil0311 View Post
I think it depends on context and setting. Sometimes it's perfectly appropriate to speak to strangers in public, say at a concert or social event. Sometimes, acknowledging strangers may open you up to crime or some other problem, and ignoring the person or people is your best bet. This is where street sense and common sense should play a role. Your gut should tell you when it's best to keep on walking and when it's OK to have a chat with someone you don't know.

I'm a native NYer who's lived up north most of my life, and I think that there is definitely a difference in expectations and experience between northerners and southerners. Southerners tend to view it as rude not to be more social with strangers, while many up north view socializing with strangers for the sake of it (such as a store clerk or person walking down the street) as a bit of a waste of time and not necessary.

You must actually be from Jersey or New York City because every time I visit a country town up north people chit chat in stores just the same. Western New York and many parts of Pennslvania folks always love to talk small talk to strangers. Its a City thing not a North Or South thing. Thats why folks from the city should stay in the city.
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