Gift(s) for grandchildren: How often? (parents, gifts, kids, old)
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On what occasions/holidays do you give your grandchild(ren) a gift?
I am being continually surprised by the number of occasions on which my DIL's parents and other relatives give or send gifts to my granddaughter. It wouldn't occur to me to "gift" her (or anyone) on some of these occasions but maybe I am behind the times??
So far I have seen her other grandmother, plus several aunts/uncles on that side of the family (there's only myself on my side) give her a present for her birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's day (a green stuffed animal), Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving.
I should mention that my granddaughter already has a house filled with toys and other paraphernalia (so much so that I'd be afraid to buy her anything for fear she already has it) so it's not as if she otherwise wouldn't have much 'stuff'. Indeed, I have no idea what to get her for Christmas because she seems to have every toy in the world already and rarely plays with any for more than a few minutes at a time. She'd rather be pulling stuff out of closets and kitchen cabinets, LOL
For me, birthday and Christmas are the two expected-gift-giving days. When my son was little, I'd make a small Easter basket with a toy and book, and hide plastic eggs with coins in them around the house, but that's it. We didn't give him gifts on those other holidays mentioned above. And like my granddaughter, he was always getting 'stuff' regularly throughout the year; every Friday night after a dinner out, we'd stop at the local Toys R Us, for example.
But is the idea of giving a grandchild a Halloween present, Thanksgiving present, Valentines Day present, etc., normal these days?
I’m not a young grandma (74) so maybe I’m not in tune with the times. My grandkids (ages 13 and 11) receive birthday and Christmas gifts plus card for major holidays with a little money inside (Valentines, Easter, Halloween). When we visit for a few days I bring a couple inexpensive things for them and some homemade cookies for the family. That’s it. The other grandma (who is very wealthy) does about the same thing—not too many gifts.
As they get older it’s harder. They aren’t into toys, so sometimes money to attend something or a subscription is what they receive.
I don’t think they benefit from getting loads of stuff all year long.
I'm in my 70s also. I confess to even being a little surprised by how often people send cards as well (this isn't limited to grandparent relationships) but that may be a function of my own experience. My parents and grandparents didn't exchange cards for holidays other than birthday, Christmas, and Easter. Because I myself don't celebrate Easter, the only cards I normally give/send are for someone's birthday and for the winter holiday season. (other than a get-well, sympathy, wedding, or new-baby card if any of those happen to occur)
I was raised with the mindset that Valentines Day cards are exchanged between two people who are in a romantic relationship, and I still feel that way. I love my son dearly but I'd never dream of giving him a Valentines Day card or gift, because I don't love him in that way. Ditto for my grandchild.
For me, birthday and Christmas are the two expected-gift-giving days.
This is your standard. Other people have different standards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie
But is the idea of giving a grandchild a Halloween present, Thanksgiving present, Valentines Day present, etc., normal these days?
It is fairly typical to mark these holidays somehow. In my observation, grandparents get caught up when they are out and see something cute in the holiday theme for a baby, so they get it. Or they want to bring the baby something when they visit for those holidays.
My parents gave me something for every holiday when I was growing up. It was fun. As for Valentines, we exchanged Valentines in school as early as kindergarten, so there was no romantic distinction drawn for me, until I had my own boyfriend in high school.
I would not waste time comparing the gift giving from other grandparents. Just approach the holidays the way you feel comfortable doing it. Be consistent in the time you spend with her as she grows up, because that is what she will remember anyway.
As for Valentines, we exchanged Valentines in school as early as kindergarten, so there was no romantic distinction drawn for me, until I had my own boyfriend in high school.
Oh, I remember those too; the kiddie valentines in grade school. Although I have to say that IMHO the tradition caused more hurt than happiness because there were always certain kids who got lots of valentines and those who received none (except the one from the teacher which of course "didn't count" in our minds.) Apparently nowadays in many schools the children are required to give a Valentine to everyone in the class (which IMHO makes the whole thing meaningless) but that wasn't the way it worked when I went to school during the 1950s. Not sure when that practice was put into effect but I do know that when my son was in grade school during the early 1990s he was definitely NOT required to bring a Valentine for everyone.
Oh, I remember those too; the kiddie valentines in grade school. Although I have to say that IMHO the tradition caused more hurt than happiness because there were always certain kids who got lots of valentines and those who received none (except the one from the teacher which of course "didn't count" in our minds.) Apparently nowadays in many schools the children are required to give a Valentine to everyone in the class (which IMHO makes the whole thing meaningless) but that wasn't the way it worked when I went to school during the 1950s. Not sure when that practice was put into effect but I do know that when my son was in grade school during the early 1990s he was definitely NOT required to bring a Valentine for everyone.
That's sad. When I was in school in the late 70s we all brought for everyone. I don't even think it was a policy. It was just how you did it.
So as you see, practices vary. The other relatives do these traditions differently from you. It's one of the many conflicts that arise when families merge through marriage.
Oh, I remember those too; the kiddie valentines in grade school. Although I have to say that IMHO the tradition caused more hurt than happiness because there were always certain kids who got lots of valentines and those who received none (except the one from the teacher which of course "didn't count" in our minds.) Apparently nowadays in many schools the children are required to give a Valentine to everyone in the class (which IMHO makes the whole thing meaningless) but that wasn't the way it worked when I went to school during the 1950s. Not sure when that practice was put into effect but I do know that when my son was in grade school during the early 1990s he was definitely NOT required to bring a Valentine for everyone.
I also was in elementary school in the 1950s, and the rule was that we had to give Valentines to every child in our class, whether we liked them a lot or a little or not at all. Commercially made packages of children's Valentines were available, and I can remember going through them to make sure I didn't give one that was too sentimental to the wrong person. The focus was also on elaborate, handmade Valentine boxes then - usually making use of a Kleenex box as a foundation, then adding red, pink and white construction and/or crepe paper, and so on. We usually had cupcakes as well. School Valentine parties took place during the last half hour of the school day, so teachers didn't have to deal with sugar highs and overly excited kids.
As for giving grandchildren presents for every holiday, consider giving children's books with stories about the holiday that can be read each year as part of the festivities. For older children, information books about the holiday would also work - give the books a few days ahead of time so they can be read in advance to enhance the anticipation.
On what occasions/holidays do you give your grandchild(ren) a gift?
(snip)
But is the idea of giving a grandchild a Halloween present, Thanksgiving present, Valentines Day present, etc., normal these days?
I give my grandchildren (2,000 miles away) gifts on the birthday and Christmas. I also give small gifts when I visit (once or twice a year) or maybe pay to go to a children's museum or something similar while I am there. I also send books or small gifts "when the mood strikes me" maybe a couple times a year.
Among my friends who are grandparents, I do not think that anyone gives gifts for other holidays, except maybe a small bit of candy and/or small holiday related toy for Valentines Day and Easter. A gift for Halloween and Thanksgiving? Heck, no.
And, aunts and uncles, among my friends and relatives, only give gifts on birthdays and Christmas (except maybe for a small gift when they visit from out of town).
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Indeed, I have no idea what to get her for Christmas because she seems to have every toy in the world already and rarely plays with any for more than a few minutes at a time. She'd rather be pulling stuff out of closets and kitchen cabinets, LOL 
