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Old 11-10-2010, 11:21 PM
 
15,912 posts, read 20,194,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
I agree... there always was some form of bullying, but in my opinion today's kids cannot handle it the way they could handle it 20-30 years ago.
30 years ago there was no political correctness... somebody made some nasty comments at you you either got over it or slugged the other person..

god forbid in this day and age you tell a kid, "that was stupid" or call them "fatso" or "dipsh*t" what do the shrinks say? you are bullying the poor child...

30 years ago you fell down and banged your head, tough, get over it. That happens today and what happens? get the kid a crash helmet, ban the sport or sue the school...

30 years ago the kid mouths off to their parent and got whapped in the mouth, today? lets take the kid to a shrink to see why he/she feels this way, the shrink comes up with some type of psychological disorder and the kid gets put into a redaline drug haze for the next few years.....
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:24 PM
 
15,912 posts, read 20,194,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Visit a Library View Post
What if the bully knows Karate, and since real life isn't like the movies, what do you do?
Pick up a baseball bat....

But in 2010 I guess the politically correct thing to say would be run home to mommy, hide under her skirts and cry....
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
37,961 posts, read 22,143,591 times
Reputation: 13797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Austinitegirl View Post
OK - I know this topic is going to fan some flamers, but I think it's extremely relevant given the recent media highlight (and very sad/unfortuante results) of bullying.

There are several other threads that touch on the topic of bullying in some way or another, but my question is - Bullying - is it just a fact of life?

In other words, sure, it would be wonderful if we could live in a peaceful world of no bullying, no violence, no suicide, no bombs, make love not war, etc., but is bullying just intrinsic to human nature? Do humans (whether we want to admit it or not) have a sort of "pack mentality" with a very complicated hierarchy and pecking order, which ultimately means someone is selected (by the "pack") to be at the bottom of the social food chain, and is therefore bullied and harassed until they become the universal pariah?

Please don't misunderstand my question - I am not debating the wrongness or rightness of bullying, or ignoring its immense emotional and societal impact. I'm simply wanting to hear some intellectual/philosophical (hopefully friendly/polite) debate about whether or not this particular behavior is programmed into our DNA.

There has been so much recent press about how to stop bullying - it seems reasonable to me to analyze it's root cause.
Its a fact of life, and i think it's just part of human nature, we can only overcome it if we intellectualize our way out of that mindset. When a bigger four year old kid forcefully take toys away from younger children, its just a natural thing to do. If children are not taught to think outside the box, and treat other people with dignity and compassion, then they grow up to be bullies.
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
37,961 posts, read 22,143,591 times
Reputation: 13797
Quote:
Originally Posted by plwhit View Post
30 years ago there was no political correctness... somebody made some nasty comments at you you either got over it or slugged the other person..

god forbid in this day and age you tell a kid, "that was stupid" or call them "fatso" or "dipsh*t" what do the shrinks say? you are bullying the poor child...

30 years ago you fell down and banged your head, tough, get over it. That happens today and what happens? get the kid a crash helmet, ban the sport or sue the school...

30 years ago the kid mouths off to their parent and got whapped in the mouth, today? lets take the kid to a shrink to see why he/she feels this way, the shrink comes up with some type of psychological disorder and the kid gets put into a redaline drug haze for the next few years.....
I am really concerned with all the children being put on those drugs to calm them down and dope them up, because they do not learn how to control their emotions. that is part of growing up, learning how not to throw tantrums, and get a handle on controlling your emotional state. We put kids on Redaline and they grow up to be adults who never learned how to handle their own emotions.

So we end up with generations of ticking time bombs and people who lash out around them because they never learned how to rationalize and control anger and emotions.
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:18 AM
 
Location: :~)
1,483 posts, read 3,307,398 times
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Default 100% on the money

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wapasha View Post
If children are not taught to think outside the box, and treat other people with dignity and compassion, then they grow up to be bullies.
Wapasha - outstanding statement.
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:39 AM
 
871 posts, read 1,630,625 times
Reputation: 451
Quote:
Originally Posted by plwhit View Post
30 years ago there was no political correctness... somebody made some nasty comments at you you either got over it or slugged the other person..

god forbid in this day and age you tell a kid, "that was stupid" or call them "fatso" or "dipsh*t" what do the shrinks say? you are bullying the poor child...

30 years ago you fell down and banged your head, tough, get over it. That happens today and what happens? get the kid a crash helmet, ban the sport or sue the school...

30 years ago the kid mouths off to their parent and got whapped in the mouth, today? lets take the kid to a shrink to see why he/she feels this way, the shrink comes up with some type of psychological disorder and the kid gets put into a redaline drug haze for the next few years.....
PAY ATTENTION. isn't that what you all have been preaching that kids can't do these days but it seems you adults have the same problem. again, purposeful cognitive dissonance. your examples are idiotic. if you fall down and bang your head, you could have serious brain trauma or concussion. you can't just always get up and 'get over it'. do you not realize that or is this a question of your intelligence? why do you think people wear helmets or use seat belts or any safety devices.

AGAIN, it's not about name-calling or occasional tifts and disagreements that will inevitably occur between people and children. it's the systematic and extreme forms of harassment and bullying such as stalking and physical assault.

while we're at it, let's address the 'pussyness' of the adult world according to this line of logic. why do people get up in arms over murders, domestic violence, pedophilia, rapes, thefts, shootings, gangbanging or any act or crime of aggression? those victims should have been stronger than the perpetrator or else it's their fault for what they got. they should have had a baseball bat at the ready at all times, known martial arts or be bigger and stronger than their perpetrator. why do adults have all these organizations to 'serve' themselves and protect their interests? they should handle it on their own and not be a *****. why do they have 911 at the ready to whine when anything goes wrong or threatens them. they can't stop a break-in on their own? if their loot got stolen, it must be their ***** fault. they can't put out their own house fire? it's their own ***** fault. someone stole their credit card, identity or looted their account? that's their ***** fault and they don't deserve to get it back since they weren't as clever, obviously. how dare they think they should have recourse, for anything.

Quote:
Pick up a baseball bat...
unbelievable. so a child should pick up a baseball bat to injure or even kill another kid? this is what you want to teach children to solve problems?

are you people serious? why is it that adults don't take the law into their own hands or not allowed to beat people up with a baseball bat? the answer is no.

Quote:
We put kids on Redaline and they grow up to be adults who never learned how to handle their own emotions.
It's called "ritalin" and some kids do need it. medicine and research has come a long way and some kids do have hyperactivity disorder and it's real. kids have even admitted that they couldn't control themselves to wind down to even function and being in a constant overly stressed state of being. it's something that has to be administered with caution and in the right circumstances/situations of course.



i must mention something so ironic. if it was an issue of cockfighting or pitbulls fighting eachother, most all of you would be up in arms over it, when in fact it is just the more aggressive or stronger physically dominating the weaker as a natural consequence. it doesn't matter if humans are encouraging it, it's the same thing essentially. bullying.

but when it comes to children, you basically condone it.

btw, the more you allow bullying and accept it in society, the more bullies you will create in society. i know many people from the generation of the '40s and '50's and they are the most messed-up people ever who passed their unhappiness, mental problems and aggression on. it's a joke and how dare you to look your nose down on this generation when the rest of you were and are no better. that's an understatement.

this thread proves why many children do not respect adults because they get confusing and hypocritical messages and teachings as well as many adults are not mature themselves.

Last edited by rory00; 11-11-2010 at 12:06 PM..
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:19 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,382,704 times
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Bullying should be accepted, in the sense that it is human nature.

I would suggest these means to tackle bullying. Firstly, children should be taught actively by parents and in classrooms how to defend themselves, whether physically or verbally. Secondly, children should be taught how to socialise with others. Bullying essentially is abnormal socialisation. So you don't like somebody, big deal. It's just pop culture to suggest we must value being liked, or that we must even care about who likes who, or who is fond of who.

I think schools should pursue an active bullying management policy, which even should have government support.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:38 PM
 
871 posts, read 1,630,625 times
Reputation: 451
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
Bullying should be accepted, in the sense that it is human nature.

I would suggest these means to tackle bullying. Firstly, children should be taught actively by parents and in classrooms how to defend themselves, whether physically or verbally. Secondly, children should be taught how to socialise with others. Bullying essentially is abnormal socialisation. So you don't like somebody, big deal. It's just pop culture to suggest we must value being liked, or that we must even care about who likes who, or who is fond of who.

I think schools should pursue an active bullying management policy, which even should have government support.
your post has none, nada, whatsoever understanding of what bullying is. you, like many, get hung up on the word "bullying," and misunderstand what it is and also tend to ignore or minimize that it can comprise extreme forms. when it comes to aggression (even extreme forms) with children, it's labeled "bullying." it is not about liking or disliking. no one is expecting others to like them, people just expect to not be assaulted or harassed especially if it's continuous and extreme that it disrupts their ability to function. if it does, they want avenues of recourse that is taken seriously by the schools and in some serious/heinous assault involve the law.
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,620,303 times
Reputation: 8681
I've never met a bully in 52 years that didn't respond instantly to a good beat-down. People can talk all they want about psychological solutions, socialization regimens, etc. but those take TIME. Yes, they're often effective, but not for the hard-core sociopaths. Undisciplined strength and power only respond to their disciplined equal. So yes, institute "social graces" classes...but remember, those lessons have to be lived and reinforced by the parents.

Oops - parent (singular) in many cases. Oops - parent doesn't care? Gee, what did we learn in class today?

When you're being beat over the head by a bully is NOT the time to try socializing.
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:37 PM
 
35,016 posts, read 39,148,897 times
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Fighting Bullying With Babies - NYTimes.com

"What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes.

"The baby seems to act like a heart-softening magnet. No one fully understands why. Kimberly Schonert-Reichl, an applied developmental psychologist who is a professor at the University of British Columbia, has evaluated Roots of Empathy in four studies. 'Do kids become more empathic and understanding? Do they become less aggressive and kinder to each other? The answer is yes and yes,' she explained. 'The question is why.'"
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