Tribal instincts when helping a panhandler / homeless person? (holidays, how much, Hispanic)
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My mess? Right. Get a grip. Take a walk around these places. Talk to one of these people. It is quite obvious that you could never possibly understand what their lives have been like. If pretending all homeless people are terrible people and leaches on the economy helps you feel better, then have it. Just know you aren't living in reality or addressing the much bigger issues in this country and most likely in your own life.
Ummm... I live in Seattle, I live 5 minutes from one of the big panhandling hot spots. I used to have an office in the industrial area along the ship canal and came to recognize a significant number of the people 'living rough' in the areas around the office, many were long time homeless residents. This area has always had a lot of homeless people living in it, many working or looking for work on fishing boats. I never saw any of them of them out panhandling. That said, I was panhandled daily by a bunch of interlopers, usually 20 something crust punks and other travelers that heard it was a great place to stick a hand out.
Ummm... I live in Seattle, I live 5 minutes from one of the big panhandling hot spots. I used to have an office in the industrial area along the ship canal and came to recognize a significant number of the people 'living rough' in the areas around the office, many were long time homeless residents. This area has always had a lot of homeless people living in it, many working or looking for work on fishing boats. I never saw any of them of them out panhandling. That said, I was panhandled daily by a bunch of interlopers, usually 20 something crust punks and other travelers that heard it was a great place to stick a hand out.
I don't live in a place where panhandling is popular. I'd estimate 90% of the homeless here are truly in need. So many have mental illnesses and no way of seeking help too.
In the past, especially when the economy first tanked, I occasionally gave food, blankets if it's cold, water if it's a hot day in Phoenix, dog food if they have a pet. I tend to do less for young able-bodied people and more for vets, even if I suspect they are faking it. Very rarely give money. Now I support local food banks more than the big charities though Catholic Charities is a good one that I trust.
I would urge people to call 911 if you see someone in extreme distress out there panhandling. We have temps above 110º in Phoenix in the summer and some people really need someone to come and get them. I would also urge you to call if the person appears dangerous. Some of them are not playing with a full deck or may be grifters working in tandem. They play on the sympathies and good nature of people and you can get into some dicey situations. I was walking with my kids once past a homeless guy and he spit in my face just as we passed. We couldn't go into the street as it was a sidewalk near a busy street. I went straight to an emergency clinic and had them check my eye to make sure I didn't catch some horrible disease. You never know. Hep B and C are frequently found in the homeless population. I'll say it was quite the wake up call.
It's above my pay grade to solve all these people's problems. I learned long ago that I'm not trained to handle mentally ill people, and even though I've learned a lot of self-defense over the years, who wants to intentionally put yourself in harm's way? Being female, opening a window more than a little bit could have bad consequences. We all want to avoid a carjacking, but you'll see drivers open their car doors or open the window all the way and reach out with money. DUH. Maybe it's because I live in a city with 4.3 million people, but...approaching an unknown person and putting your hand out with money or distractedly digging in your purse or wallet with the window wide open and the door unlocked is really, really foolish. At the very least, make sure all your doors are locked. Just because you are a nice person and you are doing a good deed that gives you warm mushy feelings about yourself does not guarantee that they are a good person or they aren't going to try and harm you. What do you know about these people, after all? They have a sign asking for money. Period. That's what you know. They aren't you. They aren't you when you were down and out.
The empathy factor can get in the way of rational thinking and too many people don't look around to see if the person is actually working alone or in a team. Scam artists and beggars are documented far back into ancient history. You aren't going to solve their problems with a dollar or two, but you might find yourself in a world of hurt if you aren't paying attention.
The empathy factor can get in the way of rational thinking and too many people don't look around to see if the person is actually working alone or in a team. Scam artists and beggars are documented far back into ancient history. You aren't going to solve their problems with a dollar or two, but you might find yourself in a world of hurt if you aren't paying attention.
Fear is holding you back from making a difference. Your rational thinking has been thrown off to believe that every person who approaches you is a scam artist or violent due to one bad experience.
I do not give anything to panhandlers...I never really see any of them in this area. However, I donate to the organizations that help them - Salvation Army, Goodwill, and local food kitchens. I do not believe that the CEOs of these particular charities make off with all the $$$. They help all races.
The one exception I made a couple years ago was to a fellow who was always sitting out on the step of a library I frequented. He never asked for any money. He was a very affable sort, and we chatted many times. He told me he was waiting for a friend to drop off a couple cigarettes for him. I went to a corner store and got him a pack of Marlboros, and a hot sandwich for lunch. You would think he'd hit the lottery. He was more grateful than anyone I'd ever seen, and ate the food on the spot.
when you help a panhandler or homeless person, does the person's race / ethnicity have any effect on your sympathy for them? or making a decision to try and help them out? because of tribal instinct to help a member of your ethnic group?
like if your of a certain race or ethnic background and the panhandler or homeless person looks like your cousin or from the same ethnic group does it ever cause you to be a little more friendly or have more sympathy for them to see somebody from your group in need of assistance?
I was raised by parents who taught me to respect people. My mom taught me to appreciate people from everywhere. It didn't matter what they looked like. When my dad and I were out, it was commonplace for him to go to someone who didn't approach him first and slip the person money. One time, though, we were in our car to get on a ferry and a guy knocked on the window and asked for a dime or a quarter and dad gave him exactly what he asked. I think the guy wanted to punch out my father that time .
I continue to do what dad taught me. I had a major payment of too much money (it hurt for sure) that I had to make or face stiff penalties. It was not the best day of my life but c'est la vie. When I walked out of the building, I saw someone who appeared to be homeless or just not have money. I carefully walked across the street and tried to size up if the person was going to possibly be harmful to me and slipped the person $5 or $10. Not a word was exchanged and that's how I like it.
I still do it to this day despite the fact that I'm on a very limited income. But there are always people in worse positions than I am ... so far.
Fear is holding you back from making a difference. Your rational thinking has been thrown off to believe that every person who approaches you is a scam artist or violent due to one bad experience.
No. Fear isn't "keeping me from making a difference." Common Sense is keeping me from doing stupid things. Funny how you make fun of someone for thinking rationally! Essentially you are saying that you don't think rationally. Just as you don't know that guy on the corner with a sign begging for money, you know NOTHING about me or what I do to make a difference in the world. Your rose colored glasses and confirmation bias make you a perfect target for the scammers of the world. Just because you were there once doesn't make every panhandler like you. That's projection and it's a dangerous way to live your life. But maybe you need to get hit over the head a few times to get it.
And WHY do you think enabling drunks and druggies is "helping?" A few bucks doesn't do jack for these people. Point them to a shelter where trained professionals can help them. Most of the time people are giving out of guilt rather than a real sense of community or selflessness. It's a short-term feel good strategy that is selfish in nature. "Look what I did today! I'm 'making the world better!'" No. Not really. You're perpetuating a problem. You want to help? Volunteer at the food kitchen. Give food to the Food Banks. Go work at a homeless shelter. Donate time at the Fresh Start facilities for battered women. Don't help feed people's drug addictions with a few bucks and put yourself at risk at the same time.
BTW I've not only had more than one bad experience, I was married to a policeman in Hawaii and helped him with his daily reports. Now there's a wake up call - you begin to see the side of life that is carefully kept out of plain view. Most people are blithely unaware of the nasty things that go down in any city. To think that you are such a good person that nothing bad will ever happen to you is a lovely fantasy, but it can get you into a lot of trouble if you aren't awake. My comments are well-founded and supported by many law enforcement officers who see how foolishness can get you into trouble. They also say some people are more "muggable" than others. Usually those do-gooders who are so concerned with looking like they are concerned. "I'm HELPING! Let's do a selfie!"
Another of my experiences: I gave food and water to a homeless person when I lived in Kailua, Hawaii. He watched the direction of my car and later found where I lived. He watched our house for several days to get a sense of our movements and habits. I came home early from work one day and he was in our house. He figured he could live there during the day while we were at work. When I confronted him, he pulled a knife on me and started moving towards me. I made it out the door to the neighbors and called the cops. They caught him about 3 blocks from our house. When we started looking around the house we could see where he had unlocked strategic windows and where he had rifled through our things. He stole deposit slips from our checkbooks, food from the kitchen, jewelry from my roommate, and lots of small things he could pawn for drugs.
when you help a panhandler or homeless person, does the person's race / ethnicity have any effect on your sympathy for them? or making a decision to try and help them out? because of tribal instinct to help a member of your ethnic group?
like if your of a certain race or ethnic background and the panhandler or homeless person looks like your cousin or from the same ethnic group does it ever cause you to be a little more friendly or have more sympathy for them to see somebody from your group in need of assistance?
Makes no difference to us, if we are able to help a wee bit we do. A lot of people need help from time to time.
I had a White girlfriend who told me she would never give money to a White panhandler because she felt more guilt or responsibility for the misfortune of minorities.
Then I know a Navajo who just ignores non-Navajo panhandlers but literally flips out when a Navajo panhandler asks him for money. I mean he flips out, yells, and curses at them.
How did he know they were Navajo and not Hopi, Apache, Yaqui or some other common S/W tribe?
I do not give anything to panhandlers...I never really see any of them in this area. However, I donate to the organizations that help them - Salvation Army, Goodwill, and local food kitchens. I do not believe that the CEOs of these particular charities make off with all the $$$. They help all races...
This is basically my strategy since I can't always tell who really needs food, who is a scam artist (well sometimes I can tell that), who is just lazy, who will spend it on drugs/alcohol, and who is mentally unstable and dangerous. We obviously have a lot of homeless here in NYC. But we also have lots of organizations that are not rip-offs in any way and I usually give a few buck to them at some point during the year, especially the Salvation Army, which sheltered a relative of mine who'd fallen into addiction and who the SA helped get back on his feet.
The only exception I make is to street singers musicians, who may or may not be homeless, but always leave me feeling a little better when they're really good and I always put something in the plate or cup, even if they're not.
And to answer the OP's question, for me race or ethnicity has nothing to do with it.
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Essentially you are saying that you don't think rationally. Just as you don't know that guy on the corner with a sign begging for money, you know NOTHING about me or what I do to make a difference in the world. Your rose colored glasses and confirmation bias make you a perfect target for the scammers of the world. Just because you were there once doesn't make every panhandler like you. That's projection and it's a dangerous way to live your life. But maybe you need to get hit over the head a few times to get it. 
