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Where on earth did you get the 55% divorce number? The whole "half of marriages end in divorce" thing is a myth unless you look at specific subsets of the population.
And decades of sociological research shows that children raised in a two-parent household do better in just about every way than those with just one. But, I digress to get back to the main point of the OP.
In some parts of the world, marriage is very looked down upon. Couples who hate each others guts will stay married just for show, but if given the option, they would've divorced long ago. Also, women these days are also breadwinners, so they're not afraid of not being able to make their own living being single.
Definite no to marriage. Relationships should be treated a similar way to employment, very temporary. Failed marriages can destroy the rest of your life, financially and emotionally.
Look it from the opposite direction, instead of looking for benefit from marriage tell me the harm marriage can bring a couple who are already committed.
Why wouldn't a couple who love each other & committed not get married? What harm could it bring to the couple? Are they afraid to admit to the world they are together? To me it sounds like one of the couple believes there is 10% chance of him / her finding someone better hence keeping the option open.
If two people who know they don't want children meet and hit it off romantically, is it worth it to still get married? Or does it make more sense to just be together, and even cohabitate indefinitely, without making it official?
Moderator cut: off topic Of course it's worth it to get married. Marriage is not just about procreation. In fact, it isn't even mostly about procreation. In terms of governmental recognition, it offers the couple legal and tax benefits. My fiancee and I are getting married in two months in NC. It's not legal in our state yet, but it is in NC. It's important because to us, it symbolizes that NC and 36 other states in the US (as well as other countries) feel that our relationship is worthwhile and valuable. We know it is, and now so do others. It's a big victory for gay couples who are in committed long term loving relationships, as we are. We have no plans to ever have children. And many couples get married who are too old to have kids, infertile for whatever reasons, or just don't want kids. They still receive the legal, tax benefits, and often approval from friends and family of their union. That is very important socially and economically for the couple.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 03-23-2015 at 10:40 AM..
Reason: See post#10
From a financial perspective, most likely. Most governments have tax breaks and it's easier to buy property with pooled incomes. Even if one in the couple does not work, that leaves one person available to do all of life's errands and chores.
From a relationship and happiness perspective, I'm not so sure. My parents hate each other, and so do my grandparents. They stuck together for the kids and then got too old to make other relationships, even friendships. All the guys I know who got married to women who didn't want to have kids eventually got divorced. I feel like people get sick of each other after about 7 years. Without kids there's not a big enough reason to stay together.
According to google, the divorce rate for first marriages is at 30%. The all time high was in the early 80's when it was around 40%.
As for whether it is worth it to get married? That depends on the person. The biggest thing that marriage buys you is security.
No, there is no guarantee that a marriage might split apart down the road, but the amount of energy, financial cost, and time necessary to split most marriages is considerable.
There is also a psychological factor at work. A couple who stays together without marriage has not made a binding legal commitment to each other. It might not be any easier emotionally to end a long term relationship, but the logistics are way easier. Rent moving truck (or not), move into new place, delete SO's phone number and email from phone.
I am a man, so I am just guessing here... but I think that security is the #1 reason that women who desire marriage want it.
Well when John asked me to marry him I said why, we weren't going to have children. He told me that he wanted me to have his pension, life insurance, and health insurance. Sold!
Yes. It is. There are legal matters that are made more simple and easy to address, when a couple is legally married, including rights of inheritance, shared property, shared income, access to health care and shared relatives.
I have many friends who married 20 to 30 years ago and are child free by choice. They wanted a spouse, not children.
Other people have children from previous marriages and want to make clear the importance of this new relationship and confer the legal protection of marriage upon a particular individual that marriage, in every state of which I am aware, automatically confers.
Still, within some families, a person with whom you live who is not your husband or wife without benefit of marriage, is nothing more than a boyfriend or girlfriend and will be treated that way.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 03-23-2015 at 09:11 PM..
Reason: Removed quote
I understand the tax benefits but, being in a unmarried living condition and having grown kids, I think marriage is important. It says I love you enough to share my life completely with you. I trust you with everything. You are the one I want to grow old with and live forever with. It says "you are the one" for better or for worse. I think it's important. Especially to the woman. Women need security. Men need significance. I do recommend pre-marital counselling, though, so you know you're both on the same page.
Just remember, no matter what they came in with they get half, including your pension, no matter whose fault it is, or who does what.
So no, it's not worth it. Get a hooker on Friday or Saturday, you'll save a fortune in the long run.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 03-23-2015 at 09:12 PM..
Reason: Removed icon
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