Child-free Women and Men: Should We Establish and Start Celebrating Child-free Women's Day and Child-free Men's Day? (lawyer, gasoline)
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Child free people can be selfish and do whatever they want. Skip meals, eat frosting out of a can, drink however much they want, stay up all night by choice and sleep in, buy random things for themselves, make impulsive travel plans, watch or read r rated stuff, and have relations in the living room mid day.
I don't see anything wrong with doing those things and don't see what is so selfish about it.
The only child-free day that we (child-free) currently celebrate is International Child-free Day on August 1st of each year (International Childfree Day | Celebrating Childfree Men and Women Around the World). But, as a child-free woman, I think child-free women and child-free men should have their own celebratory days rather than being lumped into one celebratory day (August 1st). I think Child-free Women's Day should be celebrated on the first Sunday in June and Child-free Men's Day should be celebrated on the second Sunday in June. (Father's Day is the third Sunday in June.)
So here are my questions to child-free C-D members (parents are free to offer their input as well):
1. Should we establish and start celebrating Child-free Women's Day and Child-free Men's Day?
2. If no, then why not, and if yes, then what dates would you recommend?
By the way, we don't need congressional approval to establish celebratory days; all we need is our own approval, no one else's. I'll be gathering opinions and input from at least 20 – 30 other child-free forums, blogs, websites, etc. over the next couple of months as I would like to have a definitive answer no later than the end of this year .
One day is not enough??? I think you have some issues with your life if not having children is such a big deal for you. I say that as a career woman now nearing retirement who chose not to marry and not to have children at a time when it was much more difficult to do that than it is now, although not quite so difficult as for previous generations of women.
I also think that the phrase "child free" has a somewhat negative tone, sort of like equating children with something that needs to be avoided, as in "fat free" or "pesticide free". I also think that celebrating not having children can be a very cruel slap at those people, like my brother and sister in law, who desperately want/wanted to have children and can't/couldn't.
It seems the "older" posters are better "at peace" with not having kids. I imagine that my own passions on the subject will calm down a bit after I pass the childbearing age and all the crap that surrounds it.
Hopefully the passive-aggressive comments from new moms such as "my life never had meaning before I had a little Jonny" will then cease. "Friends" won't be pestering me that I will of course "change my mind." I won't have to endure "oooing and ahhhing" over things that I don't care about at baby showers (although I do admit that clothes for little humans are toats adorb.) And my work peers and supervisees will no longer mostly be new moms. The obligatory "happy baby" Christmas cards will change to theme I actually care about.
Hopefully. ...
Maybe you just need better "friends". That's just really anti-social behavior. Some people are just always convinced that theirs is the only right way. If you haven't got kids they'll be on you about how you need them. What's worse is that if you ever did have kids they'd be on your case that you weren't raising them right. What's funny is that of the people I know with great, well-behaved kids, aren't like this.
"Thank you for working overtime so your coworker could to leave early to take Brayden to his Little League practice/go to Emery's ballet recital."
"Congratulations on reaching $1 million in your 401K."
"Mazel Tov! You survived another baby shower."
"My thoughts are with you as you babysit your brother and sister-in-law's demon spawn."
"Deepest appreciation to you for giving up your holiday to serve meals to the homeless while others were spending it with their families."
"Sincere sympathy on being looked down on and called 'selfish' for not having kids."
+1000
Quote:
Originally Posted by jayrandom
I hope this was a bad joke. Otherwise it erodes my faith in humanity just that much more.
For those not in on the joke, Laura Ingraham is radio host who is still very much alive and Laura Ingalls Wilder is the long dead author of The Little House on the Prairie.
As to all of the holidays, I've always thought of most holidays as celebrating others, not celebrating yourself. If you feel like there need to be separate gender-specific days celebrating those who either chose or were unable to have children, I don't have a problem with it but would not participate.
I agree there can be too much societal pressure on young people to have children and respect those who make the choice not to. I don't think a widely-celebrated day would help the cause. Many of the child free people I know are child free by circumstance--I don't think a day reminding them of the would be a great thing.
The people you are referring to are not child-free; they're actually childless.
A child-free person is someone who has willingly chosen not to have children, whereas a childless person is someone who wanted to have children but for any number of reasons (e.g., infertility, never met the right partner, partner did not want children, waited too long to have children, etc.) was unable to have children (Childfree - Childfree - Who Gets the Label?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda_d
One day is not enough??? I think you have some issues with your life if not having children is such a big deal for you. I say that as a career woman now nearing retirement who chose not to marry and not to have children at a time when it was much more difficult to do that than it is now, although not quite so difficult as for previous generations of women.
I also think that the phrase "child free" has a somewhat negative tone, sort of like equating children with something that needs to be avoided, as in "fat free" or "pesticide free". I also think that celebrating not having children can be a very cruel slap at those people, like my brother and sister in law, who desperately want/wanted to have children and can't/couldn't.
According to Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) fiscal year 2013 data (AFCARS Report #21 | Children's Bureau | Administration for Children and Families), there were 402,378 children in foster care in the U.S. alone. Are your brother and sister-in-law not interested in adopting kids? (I'm not being snarky here, by the way.)
According to Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) fiscal year 2013 data (AFCARS Report #21 | Children's Bureau | Administration for Children and Families), there were 402,378 children in foster care in the U.S. alone. Are your brother and sister-in-law not interested in adopting kids? (I'm not being snarky here, by the way.)
Read your link. Only 25% of those children were available for adoption and only about half of those were in cases where the parental rights had been terminated - meaning that they are legal risk adoptions, and a family could bring that child in to their, love them and start to create a future together, only to have that child removed from their home to be reunified with their biological family.
I realize this isn't adoption thread but there have been several comments demonstrating how misinformed people are about adoption.
Read your link. Only 25% of those children were available for adoption and only about half of those were in cases where the parental rights had been terminated - meaning that they are legal risk adoptions, and a family could bring that child in to their, love them and start to create a future together, only to have that child removed from their home to be reunified with their biological family.
I realize this isn't adoption thread but there have been several comments demonstrating how misinformed people are about adoption.
Regardless of how "misinformed" some of us are about adoption, there are still kids who are currently available for adoption, though, right?
Celebrate however you wish for whatever you wish. I'm completely indifferent to Mother's Day. I don't need a special day to feel appreciated; an impromptu expression of love and gratitude from my children means far, far more to me than one forced by the calendar.
Many kudos to you for saying this. My own mom used to say this as well. She told my sisters and me that it was not necessary to do anything special for her on Mother's Day because she didn't need one day out of the year to remind her she was a mother every day of the year and would always be so.
Every now and then when we would make her a card or give her a flower and tell her thanks for being our mom. It was any day of the year we felt we wanted to do this and not a day designated by the calendar.
Those childfree people are soon to be "old orphans", with no one to advocate on their behalves as they slowly lose their marbles, their muscle control, and their lifestyle. Perhaps we can celebrate Old Orphans Day to honour those who will become a burden on society due to having no one to look after them, or advocate on their behalves.
We could have an Old Orphans Parade, where all the old orphans could march in a line around a couple of city blocks while people cheer.
There are old people who's children didn't out live them. There are old people who's children died in accidents early in life. There are old people that never wanted to be a burden on their children and chose assisted living, which give still more working age people a salary by taking care of them.
There are old people that could not have children, but spent their lives in service to other peoples children, as care givers or teachers.
Would you be as harsh in those instances? We will all one day be a burden to those that think of us as burdens. For other who respect the aged, we just might be a blessing in disguise.
We really should consider not judging people for the choices they make for their own lives. I could not physically have children but it didn't cross my mind to be angry with those that could, that simply chose not to.
I dont' think anyone would even consider celebrating non parenting if those that are parenting didn't judge them for not parenting.
There will never be a shortage of people that want children, nor will there be a time when people don't chose not to have children and we should be grateful to both.
We seem to be going through some growing pains, where some people feel they are the model of how people should live, when in fact there was no time in history when everyone conformed to the social restrictions of a particular group.
The arguments between stay at home mom’s and career mom’s has been going on for at least 30 years or more with no resolution, just as the fight over abortion.
Might be nice for a change to celebrate being human. Each of use contributes something to the world around us, one doesn’t have to be a mother to be nurturing, nor a father to be protective.
And those that fight so hard for tradition don't realize just how much those traditions have also changed over time. There are some traditions no one wants to relive.
I think I'm rambling now.. anyway.. Just a thought....
Regardless of how "misinformed" some of us are about adoption, there are still kids who are currently available for adoption, though, right?
Actually, no really. Not so much in this country. Plus the process is expensive and time consuming, with many barriers to pass and hoops to jump. It is much easier to foster than adopt.
It is somewhat easier to adopt from outside the country but it is also even more expensive.
Adoption is not this casual thing to throw around in an attempt to win Internet arguments.
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