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That isn't at all what I typed. [ ] Responding favorably [ ] responding neutrally [ ] responding like a someone that escaped from a psych. ward. Seems you skipped some of the check boxes Ms. UNC4Me. U trying to hide somethin'?
Two or more persons working together to accomplish a goal is a conspiracy by definition. Not all conspiracies are criminal in nature.
Actually if a guy compliments some (if not most) females too frequently, the female will check the guy off as 'sufficient use achieved from this unit' and regard him as a discardable for "sufficient good feelings hav been obtained him. Next!" So a guy hoping for a LTR or wife out of the situation need not be too thick on compliments. Presumption is that the OP is talking about sincere compliments. Sometimes I have simply complimented a girl on how nice her pants are. I have always gotten a smile. Always they have seemed to have wanted me to hang around longer to talk--maybe they were really wanting to know just exactly what I meant by "Wow. Nice pants." (Muahahah! Only I know!). Busy me.
Believe me, a lot of guys I have come across who have major problems with chics because the guys are creepy or come across as too desperate. Just try telling the guys that. LOL. But just the same, there are females who take compliments by men as a serious affront their asexuality or lesbianism as if anyone is supposed to know. Not to mention the thousands of females I've come across who walk around with their butt crack and boobs hanging out and yell at guys for noticing. Perfectly sane, right?
But seriously, one guy LOL he would sometimes kiss girls on their hands and slobber on them. I would be like dude you come across as too desperate. I'm thinking "What is he trying to do, eat them?" But turned out he was truly a super duper creep. He did not know how to simply have a conversation with girls he met without being concerned about anything but having a conversation. Turned out he was in the closet and seriously hated women.
The reality is that sometimes women overreact when complimented because they've been creeped on one too many times and are just over it. Not at all fair to guys that are genuinely nice people, but there you have it. So try not to take it personally if a compliment doesn't go over the way you intend. Sometimes there's a back story like the slobbery guy you mentioned and a woman is adverse to encouraging anyone in fear of inadvertently encouraging the wrong guy.
Because psychopathology was relabeled as 'diversity'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me
The reality is that sometimes women overreact when complimented because they've been creeped on one too many times and are just over it. Not at all fair to guys that are genuinely nice people, but there you have it. So try not to take it personally if a compliment doesn't go over the way you intend. Sometimes there's a back story like the slobbery guy you mentioned and a woman is adverse to encouraging anyone in fear of inadvertently encouraging the wrong guy.
Agreed, the OP and others shouldn't take neutral or nonplussed responses to compliments personally. (An easy way to respond is: thank you.) Some people don't really know how to respond to compliments especially if they are used to being put down.
I was in a store the other day and this nice elderly man held out his shopping list asked me, "What does my wife mean by Snuggle on this list?!" And I directed him toward the fabric softener. He said, "Oh, okay! I can do that. You're such a nice young lady." But then I said, "Or maybe she just really wants you to snuggle her?" And then I think I creeped him out. I probably should have ended the conversation by saying, "Hey, thanks." But noooooo. I made it weird.
Just sharing because it's not just men who say the wrong thing. I'm guilty of it sometimes, too. People don't 'get' my weird sense of humor and I am missing a censor, apparently.
In the business world of today,it safest for your career if you keep interactions and conversations with colleagues:
gender neutral
non-religious
non-ethnic
non-racial
non-political
non-classism
non-controversial issues
But other than that, feel free to talk about anything else.
The one question I have for all those women that hate to be complimented on how attractive they are is this...do you worry about how you look when you get dressed in the morning? Do you wear make up? Do you style your hair? Do you watch your weight? If you say yes to any of these it means that you want to look as good as you can each morning before starting the day. If you don't want to be complimented than why even bother? If you are beautiful and take pride in it there is no reason you should be offended by a compliment regardless if it is innocent flirting or not. Sounds like all of you want to live in a world wear women wear masks and trash bags. Why put any effort into looking good if you are just going to rip on people that compliment you on it?
NO. It's actually the exact opposite! We dress for ourselves. Not only does it not make me feel good, but getting constant attention from strangers practically drove me to depression (this was before I bought a car, and got talked to EVERY. SINGLE. DAY., often several times a day). Why? Because it made me think men genuinely believe women walk this earth for their viewing pleasure. I'm just a body to you. Moderator cut: Inappropriate I went through a stage of wearing my husband's t-shirts to conceal my "curves" and it still didn't work. You think you're just giving someone a compliment, but you're not. You're belittling them, and it's a power play because we have ZERO control over it. And it's not that I want to prove to you how intelligent or accomplished I am, I just want to be another face in the crowd. I DO not want to be talked to unsolicited; we should have that right.
Women understand that straight men "check out" women all the time, but believe me there are ways to do that very subtly; staring/gawking and making unsolicited comments is not okay.
In summary, NOT getting unsolicited comments is what makes me feel good. For women to be treated equally to men would make me beyond happy.
If a man compliments a woman, even if it is semi-flirting, then I say "big woop" and yes "suck it up Buttercup." It's just plain ridiculous to make such a big deal out of such. Now, if the scene looks like something from the construction sites with men doing a heavy dose of "wolf whistling" and such, then I agree that's a guy just plain being a pig and he should knock it off. A little harmless complimenting and/or flirting, though? Yes, get over it.
This is the heart of the issue. YOU DON'T GET TO FLIRT WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU SEE. All women walking the sidewalk are not fair game for you to approach. That is the bottom line. Why so many of you are born and raised thinking you're entitled to that is beyond me (perhaps media and porn play into it). Why so many of you assume your advances will be welcomed is even further beyond my comprehension. Your ego and sense of entitlement is off the charts.
The one question I have for all those women that hate to be complimented on how attractive they are is this...do you worry about how you look when you get dressed in the morning? Do you wear make up? Do you style your hair? Do you watch your weight? If you say yes to any of these it means that you want to look as good as you can each morning before starting the day. If you don't want to be complimented than why even bother? If you are beautiful and take pride in it there is no reason you should be offended by a compliment regardless if it is innocent flirting or not. Sounds like all of you want to live in a world wear women wear masks and trash bags. Why put any effort into looking good if you are just going to rip on people that compliment you on it?
I have self-respect and I dress for what I see in the mirror and what makes me feel good. Trust me, when I walk out of the house, I'm NOT thinking about your approval or disapproval and I do not seek it or appreciate it. Most of all, please don't tell me what I should or shouldn't be offended by. That's the height of sexism. I'm not even allowed to determine what offends me ... you'll decide for me? Pu-leeze!
Maybe because I FEEL LIKE IT and there's no law against it? How about that? If a person is "uncomfortable" over something that silly (again, I'm NOT talking about the "construction site wolf whistling" type of environment), maybe they need to adjust their Prozac dosage.
Men compliment women (and again COMPLIMENT, not "wolf whistle" like pigs at a construction site). It's normal. Don't like it? Oh well. The world isn't one's private property, owing to that you're going to encounter things you don't care for. OH FREAKING WELL. Deal with it. The world isn't obligated to make someone "comfortable" in ways that are just ridiculous and silly ...
So men compliment women EVEN IF WOMEN HAVE REPEATEDLY ASKED THEM NOT TO. And I need a medical prescription if I don't welcome your unwelcome intrusion into my privacy? Gee, shyguylh, I see you didn't learn anything on that thread about telling women to smile.
This is the heart of the issue. YOU DON'T GET TO FLIRT WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU SEE. All women walking the sidewalk are not fair game for you to approach. That is the bottom line. Why so many of you are born and raised thinking you're entitled to that is beyond me (perhaps media and porn play into it). Why so many of you assume your advances will be welcomed is even further beyond my comprehension. Your ego and sense of entitlement is off the charts.
Um, until laws are passed that say otherwise, in fact I DO get to flirt with every woman I see. Does it mean I do? Of course not, but if I desire to compliment/flirt with a given woman, I can most certainly do so.
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